• dog's Avatar

    My brother has 9 months left

    Asked by dog on Tuesday, October 21, 2014

    My brother has 9 months left

    He is in his final stages of his cancer,over 50 tumors.He has been on experimental drugs.Nothing works.He ,his wife and daughter age15 are going through the full range of emotions.Extreme anxiety,Anger on his part.Our father was a hypocrite priest so thats out...How can one find peace.It is like he is waiting,waiting waiting for the cancer to take over and finish him off.It is unbearable.Again I ask help from others what can i tell him to help him to help himget through this?He is expecting me to take care of him in his final stages.I have no problem with that.I have to be strong for every one.But is there anything that i can say or do that would help him stop the anxiety and anger?I myself felt short changed my whole life so nothing surprises me.Please I need advice from others on how they are coping.I live in New hampshire

    15 Answers from the Community

    15 answers
    • Jan1ce's Avatar

      it sure does suck. and why wouldn't it make anybody anxious and angry? you can't change anyone. he has to think outside himself and maybe he will and maybe he won't. for his family's sake, i hope so. this forum was enormously helpful for me. i never felt judged or selfish or any other difficult thing. we all have our own responses and triggers. the other thing that was a big help to me came to me through livestrong and that was www.imermanangels.org/ - they sent me a mentor angel who, even after dad's death, i keep in touch with as i go through this next phase. sending you strength and PATIENCE!

      over 5 years ago
    • rnmdiv's Avatar

      Dog, this is today. We all have events in our past that have made us cynical or doubt the existence of goodness in this world. But after we move on and live our lives we realize those who have hurt us probably meant no malice; they were just being selfish. Peace of mind and heart can be had by the desire to forgive those who caused us our psychological and spiritual unrest. Many people express rejection of God because we make Him in OUR image, instead of the other way around. God is never mean or vindictive or a demanding tyrant, never causes evil, loves always, and is merciful beyond all imagining. Knowing of God's love and mercy, perhaps you and your brother can pray for your father and ask for grace to forgive hurtful people and to ask for forgiveness for anything that either of you have done in retaliation.
      It seems to be an inborn trait of males to "fix" things. It is terribly against their nature to just give in to cancer. I have stage IV kidney cancer too, and I'm not giving up any time soon. But when the time comes, I will ask the Lord to help me die with a peaceful heart. I will pray for you and your brother. Sometimes realization of the closeness of death brings families to reconcile with one another. I truly hope for that to happen for your family members.

      over 5 years ago
    • Keith59's Avatar

      I pray your brother takes time to seek Jesus...our Lord and Savior...and finds salvation and forgiveness. Jesus will give a peace that surpasses all understanding that only he can give. Never give up on "Devine" healing my friend. I pray this peace fills your hearts and homes on this journey.

      over 5 years ago

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