• My husband scanned dirty

    Asked by gonewest on Saturday, March 4, 2017

    My husband scanned dirty

    My husband had surgery to remove cancer in kidney 6 months ago. His scan on Monday showed lesions in other kidney. I am calm on the outside, crying on the inside. Trying to give him hope, but that's tough as he sees the mess that used to be me, every day. We have been married since 1979. Nobody can make me laugh like he does. Any suggestions, support most needed now.

    26 Answers from the Community

    26 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I have no suggestions, but I have BIG, BIG, BIG BEAR hugs winginger their way to you and your husband. I am heartbroken by this news.

      You are both in my prayers.

      Love to you both.

      What did the doctor say about next steps?

      over 4 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      If the average guy on the street had a scan it would probably show cancer in a lot of places. Many times the immune system knocks it out. Eat mostly Vegan and a little fish and look up Supplements on PubMed....It could take a Long Time for the cancer to affect him.....

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @LiveWithCancer. Thank you so much for your support. I am taking those hugs and hugging you back. Praying for us is a lovely action, I appreciate your caring heart. He meets with the urologic surgeon in a couple of days. The doctor called our house to inform us and they, ( my husband and the doctor) had a little talk then. I imagine the details of whatever is upcoming will be worked out by the appointment. Give those pups kisses from me. Love, Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • Coconut's Avatar
      Coconut

      It is very hard to witness our loved ones suffer , but he needs your strength now more than ever. Your assurances of his ability to win the coming fight , will definitely produce a huge effect on the way he sees it.my heart goes out for both of you and wish you the best of luck.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @barryboomer. Yes, of course you're right. Love to you.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @Coconut. Yes, I am supportive and staying strong, but he is watching me and not exactly seeing a positive outcome. I remind him I was stage IV when diagnosed and mine is fast-growing and aggressive, unlike his last cancer which was tiny, slow-growing, non-invasive. Hoping this one is the same way. Thank you for your support. Love.

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Such sad news. You are always in my prayers

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @BoiseB. He was heartbroken. Thank you for always including me in your prayers. I'm happy you're back. I was sure worried about you. Love, Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Chris be sure to tell him I am praying for him.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @BoiseB. Definitely will tell him. Love.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Chris, I'm so sorry. Please give him hugs from his childhood borough, from me. I hope there is a way to save his kidney. I know how terrible it is to have to face this again. Love to you both, Carol

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @Carool. You bet he'll get that Brooklyn hug! Hi to Bernard. Love, Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • cards7up's Avatar
      cards7up

      Have they told him anything yet? Will they do a biopsy? I have/had lung cancer and still have lesions on my lungs, but they're benign. Until a biopsy says it's cancer, then the scans only show suspicion for. Let us know how me makes out. Take care, Judy

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @cards7 up. You are right regarding biopsy/removal of tissue all or in part to be the only way to definitively know. I don't know if they'll do a biopsy (they didn't last time), or just go in and remove it all as they did last time and send to pathology. Either way this rather large lesion is going to be diagnosed as cancer or not cancer then. The radiologist and doctor do think it's cancerous. I don't know how they know but were right every time in my case and in Roger's case last time. I do hope they are wrong this time. Thank you, Judy, for responding to my SOS! I see you often here offering your support for others. Solid posts and good advice. Love.

      over 4 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Oh, my goodness, gonewest, I am so sad to hear this. I am sending very best wishes and praying for your dear husband. From your posts I can feel your kindness and strength and I'm thinking you guys have got this. I'm not as articulate as I'd like to be - I hope you know what I mean. Love and hugs to you.

      over 4 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      (((BIG BROOKLYN HUGS))) from me, too, to you both. (I was born and raised in Bklyn.)
      I'm sending strong healing and strength vibes from here and holding your hands across the ether. Take whatever time you need, do whatever you need to do, and please be gentle with yourselves. <3

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @Bug.Thank you, Grace. You are very articulate! Thank you for your prayers for us and for always responding to my posts the way you do. Love and hugs, Chris
      @Ejourneys. Thanks for those Brooklyn hugs! Thanks as well for your good vibes and for holding my hand as you have done for me so many times. Love, always, Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Deeply sorry for this heartbreaking news.

      I will hope for a best outcome and a little miracle for each of you.

      Meanwhile it is deeply gratifying that you are there for each other.

      over 4 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Your post bought tears to my eyes. Very sorry to read about your husband's scan. Both of us have been so lucky to have husbands that we would want to spend forever with. You are both your own best cheerleaders. I know it has been said many times, but " one day at a time," is sometimes the only thing you can do. But,Is it possible to set some small easy goals, for the both of you? A short trip? Perhaps do some little thing you have both always wanted to do but haven't.. Just a break from all the medical stress that surrounds you both, can be a help.

      over 4 years ago
    • katiefnp's Avatar
      katiefnp

      Dear gonewest: My very utmost sincere
      feeling of sadness, disappointment and
      despair sit quietly with you in your time of pain. Praying for you and your husband to receive what comforts you.

      over 4 years ago
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      Dearest Chris and Hubby
      Sending healing vibes for your bodies and spirits.
      Since he's probably not in the mood to make you laugh much right now, go online and find some jokes you two can read together and laugh at. Kitty videos do it for me.
      Love and hugs, Lorie

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @geekling. Thank you for your kind words and heart. We have been laughing together about this turn of events. It's just surreal! (And probably a little weird but whatever gets us through.)Love to you. Your friend, Chris
      @LynneIAm. I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm glad your husband makes you happy. We are a little overwhelmed right now so we're watching movies, playing with dogs for now. I have enjoyed my husband and his sense of humor most of my life. Laughter, (however perverse in our case), really is the best medicine. Love, Chris
      @katiefmp. Thank you for being so sweet. It's disappointing, yes. We're trying to let it go and enjoy the moments we have now. Thank you for your lovely prayers. Love, Chris
      @Lorie. Weirdly enough all we've been doing is cracking jokes about being old and decrepit together. Looking at pictures of us when we were 24 is hilarious for some reason! Anyway, he's still up for joking around. There's love underneath all of it. Cat videos are great. At one time we had 7 cats; most of them dropped off in the backyard by mom cats. Love and hugs back and thank you, we need 'em now. Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Good idea about funny videos. Can not imagine a house with seven cats. Probably all had their own distinct personalities. I had cats, but as you know, they like to be out and about and sometimes wandered into the path of a car, so now I have dogs.About my teary eyes, I am famous or infamous in my family because of them. Never know what is going to make my eyes glisten. Please add one more hug to all the others.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @Lynne-I-Am. Yes those videos are wonderful. I like the dog videos too. The ones showing recalcitrant pups doing their best to avoid bath time make me roar. These tiny kittens we got were dropped off by their moms at about 5 weeks. They couldn't really eat - lots of goats milk in their itty bitty baby bottles, nor could any of them urinate or have bowel movements. We stroked those kitties' genitals with cotton balls till they went. Usually in newspapers spread out in our laps. We became very attached to each kitty so we kept them. Lots and lots of room for them to play in the ancient walnut trees, they didn't roam too much. I am sorry you lost your cat to the road. I think it's great you have a soft spot, Lynne. It's a virtue-empathy. Love as usual, Chris

      over 4 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Hugs from me, too! I hope it's just a benign blupy thing and nothing serious.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      @BuckeyeShelby."Benign blupy thing" is hilarious and I think I'm going to name that lesion after it. You know, the power of mind. Thank you! Hugs back and of course love, Chris

      over 4 years ago

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