• MY Husband was given weeks to live over 2 months ago, since then we have been doing all sorts of fun stuff, people think he should stay home

    Asked by JoLoaretti on Sunday, February 3, 2013

    MY Husband was given weeks to live over 2 months ago, since then we have been doing all sorts of fun stuff, people think he should stay home

    I want to know how do I get people to understand these are his last days, and I want him to do what pleases him most, if he wants to die while on a road trip through the ancient redwoods, I think that is just as alright as someone wishing to die quietly at home in bed. he does not want things, he just wants to see things and places of wonder....seems legit to me but we have family stepping in telling me "NO MORE" or "it is TOO much", for who, My dying husband or the family....who do I please? to me it is a no brainer but to so many it seems as if I am out of line for giving him his wishes

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • Laureen's Avatar
      Laureen

      I remember sitting on my couch one nite, shortly after Dx & in the middle of chemo saying, "Ed's gonna be able to say 'we watched a lot of tv together.' Then I asked myself if that's how I want him to remember us. My brain wandered about for a while & said 'Bucket List'. We began a bucket list of our own. Some of the things are too expensive or too far away, but it gets us talking & thinking. I even ordered the vacation pamphlets from some states to prepare itineraries for trips. Also, these booklets make me think about what Long Island has to offer similar to say, Maine or Massachusetts. Hurricane Sandy threw a monkey wrench into my list, but I just moved the things from November 2012 to November 2013......something to look forward to.

      over 9 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      He needs to do what makes him happy. This is what life is about. Of course also taking care of himself but I'm sure he is. :) When I first started treatment, I still made plans on the weekends. To go out with the kids, to have fun, visit places, etc. My dad told me I should stay home and rest, to not overdo it. I know he meant well by telling me that, he was showing concern. I told him that I would be careful and that I would check with my doctor and approve outings. The doc told me as long as you feel good and have the energy go for it! Just make sure to avoid places with too many people if your counts are low. Which I did. I also told my dad that as long as I have the energy, and strength I will continue living life. I will not lie in bed when I know I can get out of it. If the day ever comes when I "have" no other choice but to be in bed, then that's when he'll see me there. :)

      over 9 years ago
    • JoLoaretti's Avatar
      JoLoaretti

      so grateful to have had so many of you validate how I'm helping him with his wishes, there are no words for how hard a journey this is. to me 1 of the hardest things is not caring for my husband it has been juggling all of the people who would like to input how we should live our life, often those are the people that never show up to help during the hard times. I am so grateful he doesn't want to just sit in bed. The things we have seen since the terminal diagnosis have been amazing The Dream Foundation sent us on a journey to fulfill 1 of David's wishes and we were able to do a road trip up to the ancient redwoods in Humboldt County a few weeks before that we took a trip up to the Sequoias. It was snowing heavily and we had the park all to ourselves if you want to go do something I hope you go do it I hope everybody that loves you helps you do all you want to do life is uncertain for all of us cancer just makes you understand how precious every moment is.

      over 9 years ago

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