• My Wife

    Asked by ticklingcancer on Thursday, October 11, 2012

    My Wife

    I'm pretty excited to have found What Next. I've been looking for ways that I could give back a little. Share my experience with someone who is just starting out. Offer encouragement to someone having a rough time. Answer questions about some of the medicine I took or side effects I experienced. I try to get my wife involved but she just doesn't seem interested. I've mentioned the site before and get responses like "that's neat" with no elaboration. She nevers asks me about the site or anything I'm trying to do. Sometimes it makes me mad but I know she just doesn't want that constant reminder. Do I have reasons to get upset or should I just lay off with the "cancer talk" with her?

    17 Answers from the Community

    17 answers
    • Beaner54's Avatar
      Beaner54

      I hear you.
      Bottom line, unless you are a cancer fighter, it is difficult to relate to the disease. If it has become a "hobby" for you then go ahead and enjoy it but try not to be upset that she doesn't share the same enthusiasm. My husband loves dirt track racing and hunting - neither of which I give 2 hoots about.
      We are all unique individuals. My husband is very supportive and still goes to every doctor appointment with me.
      I don't expect him to "live" this journey.
      Support groups are a great help.

      over 8 years ago
    • dvdbriansr's Avatar
      dvdbriansr

      My wife has completely overlooked all the frightening facts of what can be expected on my journey to defeating my cancer. She goes completely blank if anything negative is said, by me, my oncologist, and radiation Dr. She REFUSES to accept any facts that the treatments will cause any problems for me as she believes with all her heart that I'll be strong enough to tolerate anything thrown at me. I have to be extremely careful when it comes to talking about anything to do with cancer. But she loves me to death (or to life) and just cannot accept the fact that this is a sensative issue. So yes, I too have to choose carefully what I say around her. She's hurting enough for both of us. But, I know it's because she still loves me to all ends and will do anything and everything within her power to help me through anything and everything. Just because she doesn't take what your doing with the same enthusiasm as you, it does not mean that she doesn't care or is not interested. It could just be her response to all of "her" fears.

      over 8 years ago
    • Crash's Avatar
      Crash

      You can tell her about the really weird answers you get, like this one. But otherwise just say what's on your mind. Poor communication, (IMHO) causes 99% of the problems in the world. Don't expect her to feel as connected to this site as you are. I mean, she didn't get her nut chopped off did she?? I too think this site is neat and necessary. I don't often get the opportunity to communicate with someone else who has had his nut chopped off too. The times I have had the opportunity, they were tight lipped. I'm sure that you feel like I do that thank GOD the Lord makes somethings in pairs!! That's pretty forward thinking on the Almighty's part. I can see him thinking....."now this is pretty important, I'll give him two in case he loses one." I see that you have the right attitude. When I was in the hospital for my ten day chemo treatments I would wear green, latex, elf shoes,and a simpatico nurse gave me a rubber chicken to hang from my IV pole. It made perfect sense. Party on!

      over 8 years ago

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