• Need some help to cope....PLEASE.

    Asked by sunshinemb on Saturday, November 16, 2013

    Need some help to cope....PLEASE.

    Any suggestions on how to make it through chemo treatments after a major surgery with NO FAMILY SUPPORT WHAT SO EVER, one son who is non existent and in denial, only friends but they are miles away; so alone with this recurrence, in a place I'm new to; moved closer to oncologist and surgeon due to extensive surgery and treatment. Looking for a friend to talk to on a daily basis; it's making me want to just say forget it and let the Lord take me to a better place; very depressed especially with my son whom I raised as a single mom and worked 7 day a week to support him; and now he has no emotion regarding my health, only thinks of himself and his girlfriend and their life without me in it. Very sad situation, could use some encouraging words or advise on how to make it through the next 5 months. Feeling helpless and very alone.

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • invokethestars' Avatar

      Just wanted to say that I'm sending my love and some positive energy to you. Going through this alone is not easy, so I suggest looking up local support groups in your area/community online. Your cancer center should have someone, a nurse navigator, or social worker, that can help steer you in a direction, as well... your local American Cancer Society can also help you find groups to join, and getting involved with Relay for Life can be therapeutic, too.
      Also, spend time doing things you enjoy when you're feeling good through chemo, or do some things you've always wanted to do. It will help remind you why it's worth the fight, because life definitely is worth the fight.
      Keep in mind, too, that many women know little to nothing about ovarian cancer, and you have an opportunity to become an advocate and to share your story of being a warrior. Don't give up.
      As far as your son, I'm not sure the details of the relationship, but it could be that he doesn't understand the extent of your situation, or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with it. Try talking to him, let him know you love and miss him and that you could use his help through this time; if it doesn't work, continue seeking out help from the cancer community and mending that relationship will come with time.
      Hope this helps! Feel free to e-mail me, too, at [email redacted]. I'd love to talk sometime!
      With love and light,
      Danelle Clark,
      Ovarian Cancer Survivor and Advocate

      over 7 years ago
    • milan2ny's Avatar
      milan2ny (Best Answer!)

      I know its tough. I've been there. My family are all out of the country and i have few friends who know my situation. I was alone most the time when i was having treatment. Had total hysterectomy last dec 2011 and spent new year in the hospital. i had an accumulation of fluid in my stomach and have to put drain attach in my butt check, wc makes me hard to sit or lay down, for 17 days, flushing twice a day. Been in ER twice all bymyself. Thats when i ask my family to come bec i really need help. My brother come for ten days and accompany me to chemotheraphy. Next was my sister for a month. It was so nice with somebody holding my hand, giving me hug esp when im really in pain. But, from march to june, i am all bymyself. Go the hospital and do chemo everyweek, take the cab or train. Sometimes feel good after the treatment sometimes not. There was atime i throw up in the trash bin in subway and even in bus station. Those things that i saw in the movie, in the books i read, i experience them, and i am alone. Times that i have to stop walking, hold on the wall. Go to grocery, do my laundry. But you know what, i think, being alone, that is the thing that made me stronger. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!!!" Word that i always put in my head. I was so tired, the bed is calling me, but i get up and walk, even from one wall to another, bec i was thinking, if i lay down, i will become weaker, and if im weak, i will die. I have to survive! I lost my appetite, so i just look at the time, and when its time to eat, i just put everything in my mouth and mostly soupy food bec its easy to swallow. And its also better to throw up when you have something rather than, nothing come out. But the most important of all BE POSITIVE. I MADE IT, AND YOU CAN TOO. Next week, i will be a year survivor, and im doing ok. Hair has grown and as if nothing happen. You can contact me if you want. NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

      over 7 years ago
    • cava's Avatar

      Dear Sunshinemb - there is a group called Immerman Angels who connect cancer patients with fellow cancer survivors with the same type of cancer who will call you and email with you to support you. Give it a try.

      over 7 years ago

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