• On being nobody......

    Asked by JulieBair on Saturday, April 12, 2014

    On being nobody......

    I am just the girl friend. It's a long story but suffice to say we have been together for years. Both divorced for many years but can not get married due to being on SSD and dependant on our pensions. He depends on me for support, information, transport, record keeping, help with decision making, POA and everything else, as if I were a spouse. Only, I'm not. His family blames me for his decision to enter a clinical trial away from home. He was advanced Stage 4 by the time the adenocarcinoma was discovered. He and I feel this is his best option. His ex wants him to do homeopathic treatment only. He chose both with his oncologists approval. It's difficult for me to focus on his needs while being shunned by his kids and ex-wife. I need support for my own fear and grief but feel like a nobody. His daughter, who I took care of through his currently recovering alcoholism and his ex's continuing consumption, no longer speaks to me. My heart is breaking. I'm not sure I can do this but...?

    36 Answers from the Community

    36 answers
    • eyewonder2's Avatar
      eyewonder2

      Julie,

      In crucial times when patients' loved ones and family, no matter how close, distant, or separated, should pull together and encourage first the patient, and secondly, each other... They don't! It seems instead as though only harshness and blame, multiple differing opinions on what is right or wrong, WHO is right or wrong, any and all bitterness that can be expressed will be. It is said that it is a form of pre-grieving, and that the things said are only because of the hurt and frustration felt.

      But... Often the things said are emotions that have been kept in check and tempered until now. So many families and relationships are permanently damaged and end because true feelings are spoken in haste and anger and are true. And it is never pretty for anyone. As hard as it is, especially while you find yourself under attack, consider the source, the persons making the statements. And then remind yourself, that right now, the only thing that matters is the health of your loved one. And put all of your attention back on him. You DO NOT have the luxury of time or energy to deal with antagonistic outsiders. Deal with that later!

      If there is any counseling available to you, please make use of it. Sometimes it just helps to tell another human being, who is not in the fray, what you are having to deal with, from your point of view. Hearing yourself say the words to a non-judmental individual is in itself therapeutic. And don't forget to take care of yourself also. Stay strong so that you can be his strength, too.

      God bless you! 0:-)

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      JulieBair, first, know you did the right and most intelligent thing for your boyfriend. He needs the best medical science can offer at this time, and thanks to you, he is getting it. I realize you know this. I'm writing just to say that you will get great support from Whatnexters, but is there any support group for caregivers available to you in your area (assuming you can attend one)? I'm suggesting the obvious just as a way to reach out and say that, well, we're here for you. Best, Carool (who is on a crazy sleep schedule!)

      about 7 years ago
    • eyewonder2's Avatar
      eyewonder2 (Best Answer!)

      And YOU ARE NOT "a nobody". It sounds as though you are the one person who is closest to him right now. Being that close just makes you that much more vulnerable than the others. *Be very careful who you share your weaknesses with. They might just attack you in your soft spots.

      about 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I'm sorry you're having to go through this while caring for him too. It''s just amazing how cruel and uncaring, and in a lot of cases plain old stupid that some people can be in times like these. I can't tell you what's best for you or what works for your own family dynamics, but I long ago decided that what other people think or say, have no bearing what so ever on my life or outcome of any of my own situations, so I acknowledge them if I have to, but other than that, people who think that way towards me, are actually nobody to me! I wish you strength to handle it and the very best for him.

      about 7 years ago
    • whitebirch's Avatar
      whitebirch

      Oh, Julie, I can so identify with your feelings. I have had a ten year live-in live-out relationship with my man. I have been the one in the background for years and years being his support through all kinds of family dynamics and all the time feeling like I had no rights at all. In December we decided to get married after all of these years and a week later he got diagnosed with cancer. He wanted to get married before he started treatment, although, in every way I have been his wife for years. I am also feeling the brunt of everyone's mixed emotions and it is lonely at times. As people have said here, it is best to keep the focus on what he wants and forge ahead with your head up. Being only human there are times when other peoples opinions hurt an awful lot especially when I know I love him and only want what is best for him. So, carry on with your love and support and know you are not alone.

      about 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      Hugs. You are a very important somebody especially to the one person who counts. I am so sorry that his family is treating you this way. You and your boyfriend should seek out legal advice on how to make you his legal medical proxy, etc. This way you know his wishes will be taken care of no matter what.

      Now that we have dealt with the practical what can be done emotionally. Others have mentioned counseling, which is a great idea for your and if he is willing your boyfriend. If he has the energy he might want to speak to his daughter and ex and let them know he loves them and he loves you and the situation is not helping him heal. If you feel up to it you can approach them yourself and let them know you are all hurting, and love your boyfriend very much, and would like to do all you can to get him well, and that the situation is making it hard for you, and them, and him.

      about 7 years ago
    • PMB's Avatar
      PMB

      Julie..... You are not nobody. It's so strange how some people treat others. You would think something like this would draw people closer together… Make them put everything aside... But sometimes it just doesn't… My entire biological family no longer speaks to me… Even after watching me in a coma on full life support… I was so depressed
      about that and thought it was a reflection of who IM… But it's not it's a reflection on who they are… I am still going through tests and waiting for results as I have some new issues but I now have an amazing family of friends that are now in my life. Forget about the meanies and search out people that will support both of you !!<3

      about 7 years ago
    • pfordeb's Avatar
      pfordeb

      Been there. Done that. I was battling stage 3a colon cancer while my husband was dying of something else. No help or support from his family and I don't have a family. My opinion is it's better not to have negative people around when you are going through something difficult. I was lucky to have some friends for help and support. Have you talked to a social worker? He or she might have some resources or a support group. It's awful how you can't get married when you are on disability. I will probably never get married again because I am on a widow's benefit from SS. Best wishes to both of you. It's good to have this site to vent.

      about 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Hey Julie.....You are a HERO not a Nobody...Geeze.
      I don't see all these butinskies coming around to help.
      Make sure you have your Partner Tell everybody that everything he is doing is HIS Decision and you are just there to bounce off ideas.
      When I decided to NOT go the mainstream Route and take chemo and radiation I got a lot of push back from family, friends and Docs. I decided that poisoning myself to cure me was a bridge too far for my feeble mind. I wrote a song about this called " DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE"...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BkFvVEZydo

      WE are all responsible for ourselves and We should do what we feel comfortable about.
      Docs are just the dispensers of the Drugs that Big Pharma tell them to use and costs $100,000 a year. I always find it amazing that if I sign a paper saying I won't make them pay the cost for ME they won't give me $100 a month for supplements or carrots...what a joke and it makes no sense. Money is being made on the front end and the back end.

      SO....DO NOT listen to others but still it's your partners final decisions and he should let everybody know.
      Hope you enjoy my song.
      Barry

      about 7 years ago
    • glam's Avatar
      glam

      You are an amazing person!!! having to deal with all of that Is not easy at all....It is incredible how cancer can affect and destroy a whole family sometimes....Most people have an opinion, a criticism but only a few really wants to get involved in the day by day routine of a cancer fighter......but still feel the right to criticize.....to blame....to create more problems than to bring solutions.....just ignore them....your relationship is with him and not with his family.....and take care of yourself....nobody can help other if you are not ok first....so take time to take care of yourself.....it is very important for you and for him also.....remember you are amazing.......you are unique....wishing you and him all the best.....God bless your boyfriend you and continue blessing all of us

      about 7 years ago
    • JulieBair's Avatar
      JulieBair

      Wow! You guys are awesome. Thank you everyone for your uplifting words of support and encouragement. You are right, I don't see anyone else stepping up to help with the routine, day to day chores and challenges of dealing with this horrifying disease. As much as I too would like to step out of this picture, I won't or can't, not sure which. I do have the POA for his advance directive so I can make sure his wishes are carried out if he is not able to speak for himself. This cancer has grown from a small lump, the size of a marble, discovered on February 20 to masses of tumors from neck to groin, surrounding his aorta, filling his lungs, larynx, pleural space and abdomen in less than eight weeks. I have already discovered how challenging it can be to get direct answers to our questions. Somewhere, in the mountain of literature we have been given, there is a brochure on carotid artery blow out syndrome. This is where the tumors can penetrate either the carotid or aortic artery and cause a shocking,sudden bleed that can be fatal in about a minute. Due to fast growing tumors pressing on and all around these vital blood vessels I was terrified this could happen before he even got started on chemo. With perseverance I was finally able to get an answer that his primary oncologist thought he would be safe until we get back to start chemo on April 23. Whether or not chemotherapy can slow the virulent growth of these tumors remains to be seen but it was some comfort to know this is not likely to happen, at least, not yet. I see him declining a little each day. The tumor on his larynx has started to make him cough. The man I have always known to be full of energy, sometimes being so constantly on the go,go, go that I have implored him to slow down once in a while, was too tired to stay awake while I made the eight hour drive home from Philadelphia. He has never been late for anything. In fact, he is famous for arriving early and pestering me to hurry up fifteen minutes before the agreed upon departure time. In the past week he has been late three times for important appointments. Definitely not like him! So, yes, I notice these frightening little signs of decline. He tells every stranger (waiter, shop keeper, etc.) we meet that he has stage four colon cancer. Most people are very kind and caring but sometimes his comments make people uncomfortable. I know he is only doing this in an effort to process the unbelievable, find acceptance and perhaps hope. If that helps him, I just let him do it. What I don't understand is why he gets upset if he knows I have been talking to anyone (other than the medical people) about his disease. He doesn't seem to understand that I need to process this and find acceptance too. I guess most hurtful of all is that he insisted I go to the attorney with him to get his affairs in order. He owned his home and recently inherited his mother's home, both free and clear. He made a will to give each of his two children a home, including his well educated, successfully employed adult son but has made no provisions for me, even though he knows I struggle to get by on a tiny pension. Helping him takes every minute of my time leaving no opportunity to do the things I used to do to make a little extra money. Theoretically, it would make sense to say, "I'm too busy", or,"I have other things I need to do." but I can't bring myself to do that. He wants me at every appointment so I am there, silently wondering if I am crazy for doing this when I obviously need to take care of myself. When I have brought up the subject he says, "I'll take care of you. Don't worry." But he hasn't. There's more, like gambling away both of our insurance settlement money from an accident in 2010 where I sustained serious injuries and he got out with a few bruises. Mentally, physically and emotionally I feel like I have been run over by a bus. And, it's backing up to take another run at me. Sure wish I had the sense, guts or whatever it takes to get out of the way! Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. It does help to vent! God bless all of you as you struggle on your own journeys.

      about 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      He is starting to sound like a Jerk!
      If I were YOU I'd just disappear in the middle of the night and let the kids who are inheriting the Houses take care of him.
      Not enamored with this picture.
      I'd run for the hills!!!!

      Barry

      about 7 years ago
    • pfordeb's Avatar
      pfordeb

      I would call his children to help and if they.won't, ask him what you should do. My husband's family offered me no help and made our lives miserable when they saw him in the hospital. There was nothing to inherit and I own the house, but I did give his son his car.
      Make him part of your decisions about what you should do. You do need to take care of yourself, but as I mentioned before, being a caregiver is much harder than having cancer. He needs to talk to his children with you present, you can say you need help and what are the consequences if they don't. Good luck.

      about 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      You must take care of yourself, because that is the only way you can truly take care of your boyfriend. If his family is not willing to step up to the plate, speak with his team and/or a social worker at the hospital and see what services he qualifies for. The social workers at the hospital I am treated at have provided transportation, helped patients and families apply for aides, etc as well as information on caregiver support.

      about 7 years ago
    • booboo's Avatar
      booboo

      Dear Julie,

      I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Have you ever been to AlAnon? Consider going to a meeting. You need some support for you, and since you mentioned his alcoholism, it might help you to get some support from other people who have alcoholics in their lives.

      You are somebody important.. Don't let his disease overshadow that. Best of luck to you, and God bless.

      about 7 years ago
    • Christiana3's Avatar
      Christiana3

      Yes please make time to take care of yourself, You cannot take care of someone if you are ill yourself. And yes please talk to the hospital or social workers there. The american cancer society offers rides to appts and some plans even have in home help. It might be good to check these out so you can have some time for yourself. I guess I am the kind of person that doesnt want help and I think I can do everything on my own. Maybe this makes me stronger I dont know but it does came back later to bite me in the behind. I think you are an angel and wish that I had someone like you if I ever needed help. Bless you and Big Hug.

      about 7 years ago
    • Joyex's Avatar
      Joyex

      I am so sorry you are in this tough tough situation. It is completely unacceptable for him to disinherit you however, and I know this sounds tough, but unless he was willing to change that Will and leave you well provided for I would head for the hills. The worst for you is that you take care of him over a long period at great physical and psychological cost to yourself and then end up bitter about the time you wasted on this ungrateful person. Don't allow yourself to become a victim here. This is not situation you should accept.

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      I agree with Joyex. I realize that it will be very hard for you to cut and bail at this time, but if you cannot get him to provide generously for you in his will - immediately, as time is short - I would begin to back up and out. How dare he be with you for many years and treat you this way?! I know - relationships are complicated and often not so hot, but he has to protect you just as he has his children--especially since you will need that financial help after he dies. No excuses and no more procrastinating for him! Easy for ME to say, I know....My heart goes out to you, JulieBair. Best, Carol

      about 7 years ago
    • pfordeb's Avatar
      pfordeb

      What a lot of information to process. Do you have a place to go if you leave? I realize that might be postponing the inevitable but do take time to make some arrangement. Although I always say it is 1000 easier to have cancer than being a caregiver, I will never, ever regret taking care of my husband. I even put off my surgery for over a year to take care of him. Of course the tumor grew over that time. I thought he was stable when I finally had my surgery, but he died shortly thereafter and that's my one regret in the whole process. I wasn't there when he died and needed me most. I know putting off my surgery was not a good idea, but I don't regret it. I postponed it five times because he had to have emergency surgeries. Again, you have a lot of advice to consider. You have to do what you feel is right. What a topic this has turned out to be.

      about 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      I agree - he must take care of you in his will. You are doing everything a spouse/caregiver can and then some. If he can not realize this, he is not worth sticking with.

      about 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      One last thought - you may want to seek out some legal advice about what you can do about the situation. I know it is the last thing you have time for and are emotionally up to, But if your boyfriend had to pay someone to do all the things you are doing, and put up with a hostile family to boot, it would have cost a pretty penny. I know you are not doing this for $$$ but he has it, and if he really cares for you he would make sure you are taken care of financially. I am not saying he should disinherit his family - nor should it be encourage. But you need to take care of and look after yourself.

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      First let me say I am sorry and sending you a big hug. Cancer has given me lots of time to think. The one thing I have come to know for sure is I feel better when I am kind no matter what!! We cannot control others. Only ourselves. Please protect both of you legally and financially and try to find goodness and gratitude in everything. I know that sounds absurd, but in the long run whenever pain and bitterness are involved no one wins. Find a way to be kind to yourself and your loved. The others can implode on themselves. Try not to waste your energy on anything but kindness. Hang in there and thank you for doing what you know to be right. Your Angel wings are growing.

      about 7 years ago
    • JulieBair's Avatar
      JulieBair

      Thank you, THANK YOU! all for your amazing words of comfort and wisdom. Your encouragement to look after myself has helped me make a decision. Whether I stick to it or not remains to be seen but at least I feel like I am headed in a more positive direction. You all are saying what most of my friends are saying. Basically, if he isn't able to value my contributions to his well being enough to provide for me then I should get out of the middle of this. And I may well do that. I will accompany him to his first chemo treatment next week. In the meantime he has been doing "positive energy / holistic healing" treatments with his ex and her homeopathic doctor. He feels like these "treatments", which include waving a metal kitchen spoon in a figure eight pattern to remove the heavy metal from his body, have helped him a lot. He claims his bowels are back to normal and he no longer feels like there could be some blockage. The "doctor" (always wondered what qualifies homeopaths as doctors but I digress) says his tumors are shrinking. I say, "hey, who am I to argue with whatever works for you!" If it makes him feel better I am in favor, no matter how bizarre it seems. That said, we have picked up the drugs for his chemo and he intends to proceed with his first treatment. He says, if it makes him sick, he will not do a second treatment. In other words, he is expecting chemo to make him feel better immediately and I suspect just the opposite may occur. In which case, I think I will feel like I am off the hook, so to speak. Fortunately, for me, I was married to an alcoholic and attended Al Anon for many years. Thank you, booboo, for the reminder that this is a great program for learning how to live, regardless of what other people in our lives are doing! I read booboo's comment and immediately dug out my "One Day At A Time" book to get reacquainted with the 12 Steps! In my heart I know I can let go without feeling guilty and let him make the decisions that govern his own life. It will be a heart wrenching process but you all have reminded me that it is O.K. to step away from a person, no matter how much we think we love them, to take care of my first responsibility which is to myself. How many times have I told others the same thing!? If I am not taking care of me and I am not strong and healthy,mentally, physically, emotionally, then it is not possible for me to take care of anyone else! If it comes to that and he won't keep his promise to take care of me, then I must make taking care of myself my priority. If I end up bitter and angry over wasting my time and energy on someone who doesn't care about me I will have no one to blame for my choice, except myself. It is,after all, my choice for which only I am responsible. It will be difficult and very sad but given the circumstances I think I can do it.
      You guys rock! Thank you and God bless you all. I will let you know how that first (perhaps only) chemo treatment goes.

      about 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Unfortunately Chemo DOESN'T make you feel better as it makes you sick as a dog...hoping for feeling better much later.
      B

      about 7 years ago
    • eyewonder2's Avatar
      eyewonder2

      HOBO said, and I agree totally...

      *** "First let me say I am sorry and sending you a big hug. Cancer has given me lots of time to think. The one thing I have come to know for sure is I feel better when I am kind no matter what!! We cannot control others. Only ourselves. Please protect both of you legally and financially and try to find goodness and gratitude in everything. I know that sounds absurd, but in the long run whenever pain and bitterness are involved no one wins. Find a way to be kind to yourself and your loved. The others can implode on themselves. Try not to waste your energy on anything but kindness. Hang in there and thank you for doing what you know to be right. Your Angel wings are growing." ***

      The things that we cannot do in life are; reverse time, undo our actions, take back words spoken, and change other people. But we can do what we know and feel in our hearts to be the right thing at the moment. When a person truly loves and cares for another, in sickness and in health, they want only the best for that person. Regardless of how they themselves might be hurting at the time, if the crisis of the loved one's is greater, they tend to that first and foremost. As hard as it is to do, they put their emotions on the back burner. Emotions cloud better judgment. One of the deepest tragedies and causes of most depression is REGRET. Do not do things or make decisions NOW that you will regret LATER. You can't undo them, or do them over again. Don't let the legacy of years of love be forever tainted by actions in the last few months.

      And please do not forget that his illness and severity of disease greatly affect what used to be his normal thinking and decision making. The word (((CANCER))) itself is terrifying! Much more so when it and the pain and sickness seem to be rapidly invading every organ you never even realized you had til then!

      Please take care. I guess by now you have seen what a great benefit this website can be for caregivers also. My prayers are with you and every other individual who is caught up in this similar tragedy...

      God bless you, JudyBlair 0:-)

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Eyewonder2, JulieBair must take care of herself, too. "Angel wings," whatever THAT is, won't shelter her if she had no place to live in; she won't be able to eat them. You get the idea. She has given everything to her boyfriend and continues to do so, despite how his ignorant relatives are shunning her and making her life miserable. Her boyfriend had sufficient "normal thinking and decision making" when it came to protecting his blood (his children, even one who has enough money, according to JulieBair). Her friends are urging her to take action now. Maybe, if he sees he'll lose her, he'll decide to put her in his will and protect her in the very likely event that he will die soon. Yes, this will be very sad and hard for Julie, but if she doesn't do something now for HERSELF, the regrets you mention will be that she hadn't awakened in time.

      I have a very long-term relationship with my partner, Bernard. We've been together 36 years and only very recently got married. Years ago, when his mother died and left him some money, he and I wt to a lawyer and he made me the sole beneficiary of his will. True, he had no children and no other relatives, but the bottom line is: He is protecting me. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my first thought was: How will Bernard be if I die before he does? That should be in Julie's partner's mind, too. Let HIM get those Angel Wings!

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      Uh oh, Carool, I am the one that used the phrase Angel wings. I meant no harm and certainly never wanted to evoke such a reaction. I did include that Julie should protect them both legally and financially. I am guilty of being a Pollyanna. I want no one to have regrets and I know I just always feel better when I am kind. Just as now, never my intent to hurt or anger anyone. I have spent many months trying to find what works for me. Being kind works for me. I spent too many days being angry at cancer. I have accepted it now but wish to not waste another breath on anything but kindness. Can't promise I will always be successful but I am aim to try. My use of Angel wings was just a way to help Julie do what she decides to do and feel good about it. We all have rough days and just need some kindness. I believe when we all have the time and support we need, we will make the right decisions for ourselves. We have but one life and will never pass this way or moment again. Hope that makes sense.

      Hugs,

      Pollyanna(Jane)

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Hobo, sorry! I didn't intend to imply that you (or Eyewonder2) meant any harm. I apologize if I sounded harsh or critical of either of you. I am the opposite of Pollyanna, I guess (if there can be an "opposite"). I agree that, most of the time, being kind to oneself and to others is the best way to be and act. It's just that I felt that JulieBair seemed to have done that and done that, and maybe a little less sugar would help her situation. Please understand that I am sorry if I was less than kind to you (and Eye-W.) in my previous post. Be well, Pollyanna/Jane - and, BTW, I loved Haley Mills in "Pollyanna" - Carol/Ms. Sour

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      Carool,

      We are on the same page. I was afraid I upset YOU!! And, just to clarify, I think Parent Trap is one of the best Haley Mills movies ever. I made my kids watch it so much we can recite it line for line. :-) You can guess what generation I grew up in.

      And, you are right. We must always take care of ourselves. Guess who is not so good at that, me! Surprise. Life is an ever- learning saga. I am so glad you are here to teach me.

      Hugs,

      Jane

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Hobo, I'm not so good at taking care of myself, either, but I do talk a good game when it comes to urging someone ELSE to do so! I do differ with you re best Hayley Mills movie: How about "The Chalk Garden"? There you get Deborah Kerr as well as Hayley. I do love "The Parent Trap," and I am of the same sprawling, huge generation as you (the earlier part of it, too, when Hayley Mills was everywhere! Hugs back - Carol

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      Carool,
      Not sure I have seen the chaulk garden!! I thought i had seen every Haley mills movie. I am also a huge Doris day fan. I was certain that was what grown up life was like!! I did have a rude awakening. Haha. Folks talk about slipping into a fantasy world . . . That is mine. Pass the popcorn and milk duds.

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Hobo, take out The Chalk Garden, if you can find it. I like Doris Day, too. And that is what grown-up life is like, but who really wants that kind of Fifties TV/movie life anyway? Who? We all do/did (being in bed with Rock Hudson, and who knew?). Well, this is far from Cancerland, but I guess that's all right.

      about 7 years ago
    • pfordeb's Avatar
      pfordeb

      Love that this discussion has digressed to Hayley Mill's movies. I recommend The Trouble With Angels. However, keeping a sense of humor does help. I was just thinking woman's shelter if you find yourself without a place to live. They can be helpful when you need to make a fresh start. That's something else a social worker could help with. Again, good luck.

      about 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      Ahh, pfordeb, love trouble with angels. The entire digression has felt good. Lots of easier time memories. I apologize if it offended anyone. Not my intent. Once in a while this reminds us we are still alive and every moment does not need to be spent in illness. Thank you for following me down this off the beaten path for a moment.
      Jane

      about 7 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Hi, JulieBair. So, how're you doing, and how's your boyfriend? Thinking of you. Best, Carool

      about 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Wrote a song with lyricist friend Chet called
      "I'M NOT NOBODY"
      Check it out and others at barrydbutler channel on youtube.
      Barry

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvhd7F7n7Zk

      about 7 years ago

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