• One of many many articles on positive attitude not having any impact on Cancer outcome

    Asked by CAS1 on Sunday, January 10, 2016

    One of many many articles on positive attitude not having any impact on Cancer outcome

    http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan08/cancer.aspx

    One of many many articles on how attitude does not impact cancer outcome

    44 Answers from the Community

    44 answers
    • TXHills' Avatar
      TXHills

      I agree there does not appear to be a direct link. However, having a more positive outlook could lead someone to agree to treatment, such as chemotherapy, that they might otherwise refuse.
      But saying that staying positive helps the prognosis is just another way of blaming the victim, if things don't turn out well. Having cancer can suck, treatment can suck, and we are entitled to our emotions. All of them.

      over 5 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      Thanks,Cas1.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I agree that attitude won't help outcomes but managing stress could help.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      TXHills..I think you hit it on the Head..It's another form of blaming the cancer patient.

      Think about the ramifications of this..funding is decreased because of people thinking you can "out think" Cancer. I have had people say to me that they think we can talk ourselves "out" of a Cancer dx..WTF....Yes, there are people who actually think this..

      Can you imagine saying to the Parents who just lost a child to Cancer..Well, I guess your child just didn't have a positive enough attitude...or maybe you as parents were not positive enough or maybe you had too much stress in your household.

      We all know that people do and will say this..they will and they do...They think it and it comes out of their stupid mouths and hurts people fighting for their life.

      I think inner strength is whats needed like you say TX so you can get through treatments and NOT attitude..

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Simply google...clinical trials for attitude impacting Cancer survival

      over 5 years ago
    • judyinflorida's Avatar
      judyinflorida

      Well, that's depressing! : | LOL!!

      over 5 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Believe there are many factors determining outcome of cancer patients. Age, general body health, genetics, individual reactions to treatments,environment,and stage and aggressiveness of disease are some. Attitude may not have a direct link to being cured or NED, but emotions, attitude, faith , all affect our quality of life with or without cancer.

      over 5 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Why in the world would they pick head cancer patients? maybe the happy/positive thing is to control us, besides blaming us. I found out this year that we have the most unpredictable problems, and so called cancer experts can't really figure out what's going on. We survive treatment, but even if the mouth and throat isn't affected by the cancer, we often starve to death. We have more deaths by starvation than stomach cancer patients. It took me about a year before I could bend my head down without falling over. All of the blood rushed to my brain, and my veins couldn't control the blood flow. Many get into a car or truck after radiation and the glass seems to magnify the sun beams, and they attack us. At least I didn't do that in any buildings or homes that has huge glass windows or glass walls. So, we don't do yoga very well. It took me about a year before I could put on both shoes and tie them without taking a rest. I know that many medical experts consider us to be addlepated. We get mouth and ear problems. Our muscles constrict and twist us from radiation and surgery. I still keep my blinds closed, sleep irregularly-not insomnia. I got into a fight at a cancer support this year--I tried yoga, I got where I could put on my shoes without head problems. But holding my head down caused a slow build up-- I thought-oh, oh- left got a horrible headache and could feel the veins in my brain. I drank strong coffee and then had a coke for the caffeine like at the heart testing place. I called the bosses of the the leaders and complained. I decided to go to the next meeting. They came in and said- we had a crash course on head cancers, head radiation, and they went on about starving to death, falling over with a head ache if you point your head down, and light attacking us around windows. I thought that I was going crazy, but a chaplain to me that almost everyone with head radiation was the same way- some worse. Why didn't they do prostrate or BC, where they have an idea of how the people react. That seems like it would more productive and scientific. why would they pick on cancer patients with visible disfigurement, cancer and surgery taking your face and brain apart. pick on people where nobody really seems to understand, and we're losing our mouths, noses, eyes, ears, chins, faces and brains to surgery and cancer?
      I told my son that in spite of the hate toward Muslim women, I almost feel like putting on a Burqa, That's before my nose straightened out-and stuff like that. I did wear scarves like Iranian women to cover up on bad days.

      over 5 years ago
    • DoreenLouise's Avatar
      DoreenLouise

      The following two statements are what I think are the most important data from the study :

      Based on the study results, Coyne believes it's important to not blame cancer patients who don't adopt an aggressively positive spirit.

      "We want to recognize that there are lots of individual differences in coping with cancer," he says. "People have to do what's comfortable with them, but they have to do it without the burden of thinking they've got to have the right attitude to survive."

      I believe that each of us should strive to be positive, which in turn leads one to be emotionally and physically strong.

      over 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I believe that a positive attitude never killed a single cancer cell, but it certainly does make the whole sucky process and everything else that comes with it easier to endure. Everything that we have to go through is going to happen anyway, so we can choose to either be Debbie Downer Gloom and Doom, or we can choose to be upbeat and positive about it.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Lynne-I-am can you please provide ANY data or proof to support your statement? Or anyone else. Provide the proof.

      Or any one else..who thinks that any attitude either negative or positive has any impact what-so-ever on outcome.Provide the proof..that positive attitude makes one strong or emotionally prepared..The reason there is not any data is because its not true.

      What's being ignored is the burden placed upon the cancer patient. to those of you who still think that attitude influences treatment or outcome then you are prepared to tell a grief stricken family that their loved one just wasn't positive enough.

      You are also prepared to have Cancer treatment centers and insurance company's deny Cancer treatment to people not deemed positive enough.

      And funds wasted on more clinical trials not focused on finding the cure.. OR, reduced funding.

      See there are ramifications and accountability for beliefs. Cancer treatments are very expensive..If as you insist emotions. attitude effect outcome then you are prepared to agree to have people denied treatment.

      When you form opinion based upon emotions and romantic beliefs instead of science or proof this is not a strength this is a weakness and it is typically harmful for others.

      I refuse to place a burden on anyone touched by Cancer.

      Over and over on this site and elsewhere we have people repeating hurtful comments made to them by others regarding their Cancer and it comes from uninformed people usually being fuled by these unproven harmful statements. Even those sitting in Congress holding the purse strings.

      This false stuff is driven by others who are not strong enough to support a person fighting for their life..They want the person with Cancer to NOT complain or need support. Its so much easier to slap on "be positive" than it is to deal with raw emotion.

      over 5 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Greg, I just think they should have picked another cancer site. Why not lung or colorectal? I know that this study was started years ago. Every cancer is miserable. Each type brings it's own fears. How can I pay this off? How does changing insurance regs and laws affect my treatment? How is this going to affect my intimate relationships? Can I work? Can I maintain my work schedule? Does this cough mean that it's spreading to my lungs? Will this nasty taste go away?
      But to choose a group that has obvious disfigurement, and so little seems to know the side-effects of treatment, except the steroids swell the face up is ridiculous. They just should have picked something where there was a 50% chance of finding people that actually had a chance of positive hope compared to desperate hope.

      What's going to happen will happen, but it's trying to figure out what will happen that can drive a person crazy. It's bad enough when there is a protocol, and you know or hear of survivors, but. Some of our hope is held out by people that had treatment in the 1930s-no chemo--it was the type of brain cancer. I know you really went through horrible treatment- had your teeth removed, and went through things that I don't think that I could have survived.

      over 5 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Cas- while I seldom agree with you, I do agree with you about the ramifications of people judging us on our positive, negative meter, as though we are batteries. Care being rationed out to the positive. I have personally been told that money and the resources of the time a doctor spent with me was wasted, and it denied treatment for somebody with a real cancer. I talked in person and online with people that had what I had, and some had it worse, they were actually run out. Doctors say, I'll see you later. You go to the desk, and there isn't any appointments for you come back later- and 3 months later there still isn't an appt. or there are multiple visits, scans, etc in the same hour of the same day in far different places. These won't change your appointments, because the cancer clinic made the appts. and they will only deal with whoever made the appointment. You miss one of these appointments, and they dismiss you as a patient because you are non-compliant. I solved the Appt. problem by going in person, and taking my family with me. When the staff at the other clinic saw my face and heard me try to talk, they changed my appt, so I could be compliant and not kicked out of treatment.

      I know in FL that if you curse, say it's impossible, cry or scream, security or the police escort you out. You get a letter saying that they won't give you any of your records, they got an emergency restraining order on you because you threatened or scared so many people-they lie. You call up another cancer dr or clinic, and they refuse to treat you, because you are a dangerous person. One of the nicest men I ever met told me that MD Anderson was cruel to him and his wife and 2 little kids. They had to beg for food vouchers, couldn't get transportation to the clinic or nursing home, but a spouse-whatever were happy, had more than one room, seemed to get lots of niceities, etc.

      Then there is the MOH surgery for some cancers. I know now that I'm very lucky that I didn't have that. It really, really disfigures, and it's a continuing process. A person can't be nagged into positive, but some kindness from the staff can reduce the stress and suspicion, which improves a person's emotions.

      over 5 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Right. Some article. It almost reads like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Support groups may not help, in part, because they are populated by people who need, rather than who can give, support.

      While I agree that "positive thought" is forced honkeybuck unless coupled by positive actions along with the platitudes....

      It is a two edged sword. It leaves some with zero hope to which to cling and others with a new understanding of how to cope. I have been noticing for some time now that victims are being blamed when the teachers are dunces. A long time gf recently critized me for not being "self sacrificing". When I asked her to explain herself via examples, she couldn't. Eventually, I asked her to tell me what self sacrificing deeds she had recently performed. It turns out my friend may have been born again a time or so too many. She was simply speaking of good deeds and helping others. Somewhere along the way she mislearned that she isnt supposed to enjoy such activities.

      I am not yet able to find a kind way to explain to her but, in truth, I feel sorry for her to have locked onto a joyless worship of one of thousands of belief systems mankind has developed over the millenia. She doesnt understand chronic illness, is definitely willing to blame a victim, including herself, and is afraid to look up and shake a fist at those overlords who are unbuttoning their jeans and, just for a lark, briefly "trickling down" onto the masses before they walk away from the toxic havoc they wreak.

      I saw. Im feeling better. Im coming and Im dragging a big mess of people up along with me.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      And the idea of positive or negative is totally subjective isn't it.
      So how on Earth can people continue to embrace this "Stay positive" response to Cancer..

      I am four yeas out cancer free in a 5% population of survivors..Let me assure you all its due to my 12 months of horrific treatment and yes prayer. But attitude?? No No and No..

      over 5 years ago
    • judyinflorida's Avatar
      judyinflorida

      Maybe being positive has nothing to do with helping cancer, but being positive makes me feel better. What good does being negative do? Maybe being positive gives one more energy to seek out more answers to help fight their cancer. I think, in general, people tend to be either positive or negative and cancer doesn't change that. Positive people may feel sad and angry for a while, but at the end of the day they smile when they see a beautiful sunset, a new baby's first smile, a puppy, etc. Cancer doesn't generally change a person's nature. I do agree, however, that blaming a person for not being "positive" enough is ridiculous and harmful. The same is true about religion. Blaming someone for not having enough faith is shameful.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Well, in my experience being blindly positive has a negative too..DENIAL...

      How many people refuse to understand their Cancer, their treatments, their options etc..They just do what he Onc. tells them and don't want to know much else..all the while with a smile on their face..???? It's in my Onc's hands,,It's in God's hands it's in anybodies hands other than my own.

      Better to be angry, informed, assertive, demanding, NOT happy about treatment options so you demand 2,3rd and 4th opinions. You FIGHT LIKE XXX for treatments.

      over 5 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Calvinism-is where the person committed some sin, did some bad thing, and god is punishing that person with illness for the sin. My son had a friend at the VA. The poor man was a mobile agent orange carrier. According to Geneva Conventions, the Army posted the area to be sprayed, and at what time. The Army drove him and other carriers to the drop off areas, load them up with the tanks and spayers. The Viet Cong had snipers. They never killed a carrier on purpose. The carrier would quickly lay down when shot at. Then the VC would shoot a hole at the bottom of the tank, so Agent Orange seeped out on their kidney and genital parts of their bodies, then a hole, where the poison leaked out on their necks and face. If they tried to crawl away, they were wounded in the foot or just shot at. These men had lung, ear, mouth, neck, mostly kidney, colorectal, and genital cancers. My son's friend had 3 cancers, the worst being kidney cancer. His parents refused to let him in the house because he must have committed the unforgivable sin. He was shunned, he came to Alb for VA treatment-His family claimed his VA pension- and the judge said that a sinner wasn't protected by the law- and all he got was $30.00 a month. When it became known that he was homeless, one of the VA employees took him in and he lived with the family. They even drove down and tried to talk to his parents, cousins to write or call him. They would not do it. Other vets were homeless, so the staff used this man for an example-non-smoker, no police problems, tee totaler--and they VA leased out a going out of business motel. This man moved in, never had any problems, then died at the VA cancer ward. He was very nice, and seemed surprised that people here liked him.

      over 5 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Cas1, did you read what I wrote? Nowhere did I say that positive or negative attitudes affected the outcome of our individual diseases. I do think they influence our individual choices. I am glad you are four years out and counting.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      In general we are probably always better off being a half full person than a half empty (Like ME..lol)
      But we have the free will and conscious thought to change the way we see something if we want. Being for positive in general helps with our mood and stress levels. Stress level hormones constantly elevated is bad for our health. So there is a cascade of effects from looking at life on the Sunny Side of the street. When we start to worry turn it around and look at all the things that are good....we can do it and it's JUST Good for overall emotional health....

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Barry again..please provide the data that says forcing yourself to carry a false attitude has a direct impact on Cancer survival..

      Because I am here to tell you that there is a ton of data to dispute this..I can assure you there is also data to support the negative effects of stuffing down emotions.

      Stress is directly related to the feeling of a lack of control over a situation and by the way the stress that kills us is not the BIG traumas..Its the LOW grade daily stuffed down emotions.. the little knawing unhappiness that comes from not addressing issues. For being something that you are not from carrying other people emotions or expectations.

      The human body is well equipped to handle shock and trauma...it processes it well.

      So while you are walking around with the false smile on your face because you think you are supposed to carry it..Please know that this is what is actually killing you........

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I didn't say it has a direct effect on cancer outcome.
      Cass......sometimes you are all over the place and don't read what others write.
      ALSO I don't know why this is such a controversial topic.
      If people can be positive during treatments it is easier....that's all.
      Having a constant pity party isn't good for our emotions and mental health. People ruminate where they get stuck on a negative thought and it just goes around and around in their minds but they never get an answer. Some things have no answers and solutions. The body is well equipped to deal with stress for a short time but when it is chronic and constant it doesn't do well with that. Again.....where did I say I had studies to say anything. I never said what you said I did and you do it all the time. Stay Focused.....ugh

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Barry you just said we are better off being a half full person...That is simply NOT correct. I asked you to provide proof..or anyone else making statements like this as though they are factual. They are NOT.

      The opposite of not being in a false sense of positive is not: Pitty party. There is a wide range of emotions other than "staying positive". But if someone wants to have a pitty party they are totally entitled to have that as well

      Barry you need to read all of the above and the hurtful posts by many who have had to deal with ridiculous remarks about staying positive in order to beat their cancer. Then you can say its NOT important..It is very important.

      i want every single person reading this blog to know they DO NOT HAVE TO stay positive. Nothing about Cancer is positive. everything about it is awful except for the people you meet who help you or are survivors as well.

      Feel free to face Cancer with any emotion you want. And the next time some insensitive fool tells you to smile and be positive feel free to tell them to flip off.

      over 5 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Cas, you are looking for an absolute. This is part of the judging that you say that you don't like. You've gone from - this is a way to blame the patient-a negative patient probably has a bad outcome- You list problems, as I also did, but I listed the negative that patients with head cancer face- even cruelty from a medical staff, counselors, etc. But Barry and others have listed benfits of being positive. For me, I'm not sure what positive is, and what negative is. There isn't any scientific answer to positive curing anything. but as Barry says there isn't any science, but it makes him and others feel better. Isn't feeling better, and getting along better with people a sympton that positive-whatever that is-works? For negative- what is negative? Some negative people are very compliant. They say, I'm dying anyway, I guess I might as well do X,Y, and Z. There families tell me about their pity parties, keeping the family down, depressed. Some of them, I sort of think that they are drama queens and kings.

      You say that you want scientific proof and believe in science. I say that science is always changing. Cancer isn't like physics-the human body and spirit is unpredictable- even physics is unpredictable because so much is changing. We know about quarks-that there are 3 together with different flavors that make a proton. The quark bundle has almost the same weight as every other bundle, but the weights of the different quarks can vary a lot-but still equal the same weight. Barry and I are not the same weight, we do not have the same amounts of energy- I'm talking about the top quark-- the one that always has the most mass. Flavors has now changed to up-, common quark (middle weight) and strange quark ( the smallest)." the up quark weighs approximately 2 mega electron volts (MeV), "

      If atomic science keeps changing and redefining, how do you expect to get an absolute on a human with cancer. So many different types of humans, so many different beliefs, so many different values, so many different emotions. There are so many different cancers, then the cancers change, spread, and it goes on and on.

      I just think that this study was done on a group that didn't deserve the burden of being in this study. The researchers probably made these people very miserable. Why should anybody call it science? It was more like a flock of chickens pecking on the weakest chick. If you have science as your belief system- fine- believe in it-

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Attitude may not have a direct link to being cured or NED, but emotions, attitude, faith , all affect our quality of life with or without cancer.

      Lynn-I-am the above is what i am asking you to provide to back this up..
      You did not say this is your personal opinion ( which I think is what it is) instead it is a statement which would typically or should typically have some supportive material to prove it.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Again it's like eating plant foods will NOT cure cancer but your cells will get healthier over a few years. Being an optimist doesn't cure anything either but I believe it's gives you a better life. I don't have any studies but I know that if I am staying positive I am more hopeful and optimistic. That's all I said. This started out as an article about being positive for cancer outcomes and some feel that is blaming people for being negative. I never even thought that after reading the study.....It's just a study. What is Faith......what is belief? How can you quantify how that helps in a life. SO I was talking in a general way and seemed to ruffle some feathers and I don't know why? I don't see how you can get the idea from that study that people are blamed for being too negative or positive.....it was just an interesting study. Nobody should be blamed for stuff like that. NOW if somebody gets drunk and kill six people they can be blamed but NOT for just living your life. Cass seemed to get angry about the study and like I said It's Just a Study......UGH

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      BTW....things happen in life that can't be explained scientifically and many things that are truth today are disproven over time. Scientist can't explain gravity or how life is formed so there are many mysteries on this planet. So why get so hung up on Scientific studies when scientists can't explain 99% of things on this planet....Always learning new things.....lighten up...."DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY"

      over 5 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      CAS1, did start my sentence with the word believe, should have been clearer with " I believe", however I think or believe most of the above statements are the opinions of those making the statements. The following is at Cancer.org :

      An important part of coping with a cancer diagnosis is recognizing emotions and feelings. Treatment that deals with our emotions and relationships (sometimes called psychosocial interventions) can help people with cancer feel more upbeat and have a better quality of life. But there’s no good evidence to support the idea that these interventions can reduce the risk of cancer, keep cancer from coming back, or help the person with cancer live longer. Still, things like group support, individual therapy, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques can be used to help reduce distress and cope with the emotions that come with a cancer diagnosis.

      I do not need a scientific study on the glass half full, glass half empty outlook on life and how this affects people, I have had a lifetime of observations.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Hey I don't have to get a PHD in Meteorology to know it's raining out. I agree with everything you say above....Why people get so upset and take things personal is a mystery to me.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      To make broad statements that these or any behaviors LEAD to anything like "Quality of life"..

      What is quality of life???? Your idea of quality of life is certainly not mine..and mine is not your's..

      We are talking about attitude having an impact on Cancer..It does NOT..I have provided proof.

      Barry you are upset.? And talk about all over the place..

      I have held my course and shown the flaws in the fluff being thrown out there like a blanket.

      over 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      It is time for the great electron (negative particle) to enter the discussion. I credit my remarkable existence (almost 6 year survivor of stage IV esophageal cancer and 3 year survivor without reoccurrence of stage grade 3 uterine cancer) to negative thinking. In the first place trying to be positive when you are not takes a h-e-ll if a lot of emotional energy. That could be better spent elsewhere. a really good rant is energizing. throwing yourself a pity party can help you move on. My negative attitude lead me to finding another opinion. I was mad as He-ll at cancer. Now I really don't think that anger is a very positive attitude. A negative attitude forced me to face my situation head on. You must embrace your emotions
      Cas you are so right about quality of life. But did you know the Dr.s have a quality of life guidelines and they have nothing to do with how the patient feels.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Cas......I just don't understand what you are talking about so I'm moving on. It's a silly discussion anyway.

      over 5 years ago
    • IronMom45's Avatar
      IronMom45

      Thanks Cas1 for posting an article I asked you for. I didn't know it would cause such a discussion. All I wanted some help in telling people who kept telling me to have a positive outlook when I'm in agony with these tubes stabbed in my back, to stop. It doesn't help me to have people without cancer telling me to just look at life positively and I will have a Better outcome. I'm facing my 4th surgery in 8 weeks on Wednesday 8th surgery since my diagnosis. When I was on my 6 th surgery and walking the halls after my surgery I heard a lady tell the patient in the bed he just needed to be more positive. He looked pretty terrible. I went into my room and I heard the code blue and the nurses running. They ran into the mans room that I just heard the lady tell him to think positive. Hmmm wonder what he was thinking?

      over 5 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      Not a silly discussion in my opinion. I think the definitions of "positive" and "negative" are amorphous. We do what works, and what gets us through treatment. It is easier for others to stoop to platitudes, to intimate we have some control over our outlook. Sometimes we do. But we also know that feeling horrible, enduring surgery after surgery, looking like a ghost, is reality. Not something we've chosen. I wish healthy people would do more and talk less. Until you have cancer you can't have an opinion about it that holds water.

      over 5 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I am a huge believer in the benefits of positive attitude. It may not be the reason I am still alive when I was supposed to die in 4 months, but it is definitely the reason why I am living the time I have left to be alive. I have always been a positive person and I praise God that continued when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Maybe i would still be alive even if I had a sour attitude, but I would much rather live with a positive attitude. My cancer is a small part of my every day life. I take great joy in whatever each new day brings. No one knows when each of us will draw our last breath. I am resolved to make every day count and to enjoy the time I have left on this earth. No study will convince me this is a wrong outlook. If others choose not to adopt my belief system, they don't have to. No reason for them or me to feel guilty about the choices we each make.

      over 5 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Halfway through the torture which was called treatment, I was one angry and mangled cockaroach. Id been so focused on being able to get through it, based on lies and deceit, that I had actually managed to ignore, overcome, hyperfocus over the pain. A nurse saw me waddling through the hallway and dragged me in to see a different radiologist who immediately put me on a multiday break. During that break, my focus was broken or my body came out of shock; however you want to look at it and I realised I was in agony,I was burned to a crisp, I was nothing but a lab rat, a piece of bacon on the grill, I was no different than concentration camp victims in the German slave and flesh market. I was shamed that I had volunteered for the mistreatment, the torture, Id been tricked so easily and directed down a path of no return. What had been done to me wascexactly what Id said I would not tolerate. I had walked away from treatment twice only to be lied to and been enticed right back into it.. an animal, a stupid cow, a dog, a creature no longer of value which had been herded out of the pool of humanity.

      Depression did not begin to describe how I felt. Over those few days, I considered my fate eventually deciding to continue in the belief that all I had been had been burned away but, having been left alive, I might as well continue without the cancer.

      How would love ever find me again? The future lonliness decended upon me all at once. A future with v no meaning.

      Was I depressed? Just a tad. At the end of the torture, however, I was quite certain, completely positive that all the crappy had been burned away and, that was completely correct unto and through today. I dont believe that the Universe could be so horribly cruel as to make me suffer through all that for no reason.

      You tell me if I was negative or positive.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Iron Mom and Gone West I am with you 100%.

      Am annoyed even by Doctors who are publishing articles about staying positive while in treatment when they themselves have never had Cancer.

      These Dr's. like so many were so convinced that staying positive had implication on outcome and BIG surprise...NOT.

      I am in the 5% of survivors so far. I can assure you I was not positive and I went through 12 months of treatment. I turned to myself and used all my energy to focus on staying strong. I refused to talk to anyone because I knew they would pop out with the "stay positive" garbage.

      Have defied the odds and I didn't do a thing that's touted as successful behavior. Of course by those who have never had Cancer.

      I am currently coaching a top surgeon who is going through a Lung Cancer course..IIIB and he said he loves the fact I have never touted the stay positive stuff. He is suffering through treatments..I am encouraging him to do what ever he needs to do in order to survive but avoid anyone who he thinks will drain his energy with garbage.

      over 5 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      BoiseB,

      As always thank you for a great addition to the discussion..Exactly..Quality of life is so personal and private.

      We need to embrace any emotion that feels right..I think so much stress is put on us when we try and live to anyone else's expectation..

      If I would have seen that nurse telling someone to be more positive when they are suffering there would have been XXX to pay.

      over 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      One thing that has proven to help beat cancer is a sense of humor. Whether you have dark humor (I am that kind, I love watching Debbie Downer on clips from SNL) or happy slapstick like old Red Skelton shows) you must be able to laugh. Have you ever noticed that those people who tell you to be positive (the ones that rally bully you not the ones that are just happy) never smile and don't get your jokes? .

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Being Positive when having cancer is extremely hard for anybody.

      over 5 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I disagree about it being hard to be positive when facing cancer. I have many, many friends who have cancer (mostly lung cancer) who are as upbeat and happy as you can imagine. A good many of them have way outlived their initial prognosis and are beating every odd. Some are currently fighting active cancer, some are NED ... some have been NED and now have active tumors again ... and without fail, their attitudes stay positive. They are not living their cancer, they are living their lives. Much easier to be happy and positive when living your life.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      It's hard for ME...

      over 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Barry, you are absolutely right being positive has always been hard and unpleasant for me. Also it has never solved any of my problems. Nor has it made me happy. Facing squarely what is coming at me at me and making plans to conquer it is what has taken me as far as I have come. I acknowledge the fact that my first plan might not work and plan B always sucks. And sometimes there is not sunshine and bluebirds after the storm but at least it is not boring. I admit there have been a lot of good things that have come from having cancer. But there were times that I didn't have the good things. I still played the game. And cancer was not the worst time of my life.

      over 5 years ago
    • KB2013's Avatar
      KB2013

      CAS1, thank you so much for the link. Personally I am so fed up with all the malarkey over the power of positive thinking.
      I have found that even among social workers at my cancer center I'm better off just smiling when asked how I am doing. I realize that unless someone has/had cancer, our state of being is incomprehensible to them.
      I shall leave now and merrily tiptoe through the tulips with little Toto by my side. Ummm...they smell wonderful!

      over 5 years ago

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