• Other Care: Well today made it all official. Went for my pre-op appointment at the hospital and again, the reality hit home.

    Asked by MAMADUKES on Thursday, May 24, 2012

    Other Care: Well today made it all official. Went for my pre-op appointment at the hospital and again, the reality hit home.

    Other Care: Well today made it all official. Went for my pre-op appointment at the hospital and again, the reality hit home. I still feel confident that I have made the right decision, and have total trust in my surgeons and the hospital, but neverthless, I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!
    Anyone out there with any suggestions on how to stay sane during these last few days before surgery? I keep trying to keep busy but in my head I know why I am trying so hard. Guess I can't escape the anxiety. Also, I know my husband probably would love to have his time with my breasts before they are gone, but I am struggling with that issue too. Almost like if I engage in sex it will add to the finality of this decision we have made and I yet, I understand his needs too. Running out of time with them, so to speak. Sometimes I know I think too much and should just go with the flow. Any suggestions or experiences out there to share?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • ibcword's Avatar

      This is all normal feelings and thoughts, but I know that doesn't help. I too felt that way. I started to consider "them" the enemy. That they were turning on me. That helped me think of them as not part of my body any more. It became something that needed to be gone. Still had the anxiety of my husband's feelings, but found out he had similar thoughts too.

      over 4 years ago
    • Keephopealive's Avatar

      I did not have breast cancer so it's a different feeling about sex I am sure but I did engage in sex during chemo to stay "normal". I felt ok so that wasn't a problem but I can imagine how scary it must be and to lose the "girls" as my husband calls them.

      I had a turning point when it hit I really had cancer. I had been told, had hysterectomy but not until I went to receive radiation at the St. Theresa CANCER Center did I really get it. I got very upset.

      Good luck.

      over 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I felt so empowered the day of my surgery, because although I was terrified with having a bilateral masectomy, I knew I was going to beat cancer.
      I have a blog that might help you

      And, yea, I wanted to have lots of sex before (and after, actually) my surgery.

      over 4 years ago
    • sofarsogood's Avatar

      What are the positives? Breast surgery is relatively easy, compared to lung or uterine; you'll have peace of mind about the cancer coming back. For me, I had large breasts, and I looked forward to being free of the awkwardness, discomfort, and finding clothes that fit. Are you having reconstruction? Talk to your plastic surgeon about your concerns over losing sensations and manipulation.

      You are going to be a new you, and you will find more changes than just physical. It can be exciting. Your feelings of loss are normal, but your fears are mostly ungrounded. You won't be any less a woman. Be direct with your husband about needing his support, and assurance that he still loves you. Be patient with him about his fears, you probably won't travel this journey in tandem.

      over 4 years ago
    • mgm48's Avatar

      Remember YOU are DOING something about cancer! That's what surgery is doing something. Doing nothing would be silly wouldn't it? So though I cannot imagine breast surgery my prostate surgery was the first thing I DID! and it gave 7 full years before I resumed the fight and i will continue to do something until there's nothing left to do. I've set a lofty goal of seeing my granddaughter graduate from grad school in 20 years. imagine all the things I'm going to do.
      Get out there and do it Girl! We are all pulling for you!

      over 4 years ago
    • MarnieC's Avatar

      Have you thought about holding a little ceremony for your breasts? Kind of like a wake? Invite some close friends in, let them know your feelings about the matter, suggest each person create a poem or an ode to breasts and light candles and really make this something special... just a thought. Wishing you all the best and sending you some love and healing today. xoxox

      over 4 years ago
    • Momof2's Avatar

      I had a double mastectomy. I mouned the loss of my breasts when I realized I would lose them. Before I left for the hospital the morning I had surgery I had my daughter take pictures of my breasts. I didn't want to forget.
      I loved my breasts, I loved how they made me feel. What I felt described me and what I was loved was diseased.
      Because I had both breasts removed (on 1-25-2012) I did not have to have chemo or radiation. I am on hormone therapy for 5 years.
      I was terrified that when I saw my chest after surgery that it would emmotionally scar me and I would never be able to forget what I saw. My daughter looked and told me it was fine. I didn't look for 3 weeks. I kept a washcloth over them or kept my eyes closed. And no, it was not bad. I was just afraid.
      When I woke up after surgery with expanders already in place and with saline solution to make it look like I had a AA cup. I went through all the stuff I had to so I would heal physically and mentally.
      Today I went out for the first time wearing a fitted T-shirt and my "new" breasts after reconstruction on May 10, 2012.
      It surprised me how adaptable we all are. And no, I have not missed my "real" breasts.
      I was emmotionally hanging on to something that was diseased and could kill me. Thinking of it that way made it much easier to be at peace with my decision. My adult children have thanked me over and over for my decision.
      I had a surgeon filled with compassion and gave me an amazing inner strength. I wish you the best. The outcome is you are a fighter and you will be alive. You can do this. A year from now it will be behind you and you will be healthy.

      over 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I didn't mourn my breasts but I did make a plaster cast of them. Pictures on my blog. I also was very large chested (DD) and now I have amazing perky small C cups. I had no idea how much easier every day life is with smaller breasts. I think of it as my silver lining and reward for fighting cancer.
      Good luck and make sure you are comfortable with your surgeons. Mine were amazing and my breasts look great, minimal scarring. I am so happy with my whole treatment plan and everything so far.
      I posted pictures of everything on my blog, my breasts and all.

      over 4 years ago

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