• RMR's Avatar

    Overwhelming Anxiety

    Asked by RMR on Tuesday, March 12, 2013

    Overwhelming Anxiety

    I need some help and perspective from you guys. The good news is this April I will be a 2 yr breast cancer survivor. The bad news is that I am in the process of being evaluated for microscopic hematuria (blood in urine that is not visible). Yes it most likely is nothing or something benign. It could be exercise induced, it could be a simple cystitis, it could be source undetermined and absolutely nothing to worry about. Or.. It could be something bad like bladder cancer. The odds are low but the urologist is recommending further evaluation to rule things out and be sure. Yes I have frequent urination and some pelvic/bladder pain and pressure and some flank pain. I also work out a lot. My question is not so much about the diagnostics for now. I am having a real hard time with overwhelming anxiety-almost as bad as when I was being diagnosed with BC. In many ways its worse. I am much more irritable. It's exactly 2 yrs ago I started the BC journey. I don't know if I can handle this.

    17 Answers from the Community

    17 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar
      nancyjac

      I have actually started a couple of threads on this forum that your post brings to mind. One is regarding fear of recurrence and the other the tendency to see every symptom or ache or pain as being cancer related. Neither has any logic behind it. Do you worry about being hit by a bus every time your leave your house? Do you have a panic attack every time you sneeze or blow your nose? Those things are no different from spending the rest of your life in fear of a cancer recurrence or associating every bodily reaction with cancer. The only suggestion I have to offer is to try to look at your fear and anxiety rationally and logically and try to accept that life does go on after cancer with all the same ups and downs as it did before cancer. To live in fear of life every time there is any kind of hiccup in it, is pretty much having given up on life.

      over 4 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar
      karen1956

      My DH has had microhematuria for over 35 years....I think because we've had cancer, doctors are often more aggressive in looking for things that for people who've never had cancer....
      How did you manage your anxiety when you were Dx 2 years ago? what same strategies can you use now? what new strategies can you try? Maybe talk to you doctor about and Rx for the short term to use in conjunction with relaxation strategies...here's hoping its nothing!!!

      over 4 years ago
    • RMR's Avatar
      RMR

      Nancyjac-- thank you for reminding me of your other posts. You are absolutely right. Logically I know this but yet that little anxiety bug tries to pop it's head. It's also the thought of being poked and prodded again that is getting to me --- and all around the same time two years ago. Still your words are a great way to bring perspective -- I will try. Thank you !!!

      over 4 years ago
    • RMR's Avatar
      RMR

      Karen 1958 good reminders. Took a bubble bath tonight and an Adivan - it's helping take the edge off. Thanks for your words.

      over 4 years ago
    • sweetrose's Avatar
      sweetrose

      I completely understand the anxiety and irritableness-I am going thru it also. I was informed almost 3 weeks ago that my original Stage 4 BC tumors were gone but that new ones had appeared on my spine and lungs. My ONC has always been great but it has taken him all of this time to decide the next treatment course. He finally call in 2 RX's and stopped all other treatments (Herceptin and Letrozole). He even had me skip the Herceptin on the day he delivered the bad news. So it has been almost six weeks since I have had a chemo and 1 week since I stopped taking Letrozole (5 year RX). I tell people I'm in limbo. My daughter says you are not in limbo-- you are getting a glimpse into life if all treatments stopped. She says I am acting like a ZOMBIE--just going thru the motions of life.

      My nerves and stress over this has caused my face to breakout--like a teenager. When I went thru my original diagnosis 17 months freinds and family were coming out of the woodwork, now I only have a few that check on me. I think the lack of support is what is making this time harder to deal with mentally.

      FYI-New RX's (Xeloda, Tykerb) arrived yesterday (Fedexed from pharmacy 300 miles away). ONC says I have to see him before I can start taking them. I kinda feel like a kid with candy that is only allowed to hold it but not eat it. I called ONC yesterday and left a message but no call back, yet.

      I have had a similiar situation to yours. My turned out to be a kidney stone (thjis eventualy passed- had to pea into a small filter for 2 weeks) and gall stone--Yes BOTH! I am praying for good results for you.

      over 4 years ago
    • mariagz's Avatar
      mariagz

      I am a 3 yr survivor and also have microscopic hematuria. I had a cytoscopy which was good - no sign of anything unusual. Next is an ultrasound. While I didn't like the idea of being poked and proded again, I did not really experience anxiety. My attitude has changed since my treatment. I've been through the ringer and have emerged stronger and more at peace with everything. My feeling is if I could endure surgery, chemo, radiation, and herceptin, I can handle anything. Of course I don't do it alone. I have a very deep spiritual relationship which is the basis for my inner peace. I pray you find the same peace. With it, you can handle anything. God bless.

      over 4 years ago
    • princess123's Avatar
      princess123

      I know how it is to feel like everything is cancer related. When I go for my doctor apts. they ask if I'm in any pain. I finally just told her. I don't know what is cancer related and what is just because I'm getting older. I'm 59. Blood in the urine could be as simple as not getting enough water. My grandson has this a lot since he has no colon. He even went into ICU because of the flu. Don't worry about something that may not be there. That's easier said than done. Every little thing gets you worried. Hope everything turns out ok for you.:)

      over 4 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar
      Kathy

      It can be hard enough just going through the anniversaries and to have to deal with something on top of that has got to be challenging. I can tend to be overly anxious and of course the whole cancer experience has only exaggerated it. When I survived cancer the first time I would think how would I ever survive this if it came back - and it did come back - and I survived. Thanks in large part to this wonderful group. LETS hope and pray your bladder situation is not the big C and you will feel so relieved. My therapist once questioned me - are you going to worry about something that may or may NOT come back? Meanwhile how can I deal with the fear of this coming back a third time?! It never ends. Love, hugs and peace to us all.

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      5 year survival with metatstic Bc is 90%. And right now your still NED.

      Very few other cancers have this kind of stat. And there are more drugs on the way than any other cancer. Many of us only wish we had those stats on our side. Don't let it consume you

      over 4 years ago
    • RMR's Avatar
      RMR

      Wow - what an amazing group of people you are. I am sitting here at my desk (yeah should be working) with tears in my eyes because I am so grateful for every single word you have all written (and am grateful in advance for any future pearls). I admire all of
      Your strength and am siphoning some of it for me. Of course I should not worry about what may not be. I know I should focus on what I know to be true today which is that I an NED. Thanks for the reminder. I am so sick of bring prodded and tested, but you are right if I can get through double mastectomy with many reconstructive surgeries and 4 rounds of chemo- I can do this. I'm still just a bit bumbed ! But you all really helped! I am blessed to be part of this group. I hope to come back to you all with an update on how silly this all was because it ended up being nothing!!

      over 4 years ago
    • grandmajean5's Avatar
      grandmajean5

      I am so sorry that you have to go something stressful again. Although I have never had the other symptoms you mentioned, I have had microscopic blood in my urine for about 35 years and nothing has come of it. As for the stress, I was never an easily stressed person but the diagnosis of bc did it for me at the beginning. My doctor prescribed a low dose anti-anxiety medication and it worked great. I am now down to 4 more radiation treatments and I haven't needed the medication fo a few weeks. Good luck with this new journey.

      over 4 years ago
    • whirl's Avatar
      whirl

      I too had blood in the urine. If it will make you feel better many people have microscopic blood in the urine. I had a cysto to confirm all was well. After 4 years of the hx my last urinalsys was neg. Hang in there

      over 4 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar
      Ydnar2xer

      Lorazapam has helped me with anxiety since being diagnosed this time with b/c. I found it very helpful to take one before each chemo session, especially the weeks I had Carboplatin and knew I would feel sick afterwards. Nothing wrong with taking something to calm yourself occasionally.

      over 4 years ago
    • RMR's Avatar
      RMR

      Yup thankful for good meds. Without the occasional help I'd have insomnia on top of everything else

      over 4 years ago
    • SandiD's Avatar
      SandiD

      Aw, it happens. We all tend to worry about recurrence. Remember most of us never have a recurrence! If you do, you treat it & fight again. You don't give up! But, if anxiety really bothers you, please get help for that. No need to ruin today worrying about tomorrow. There is no shame in asking for help for anxiety. You deserve all the care you require. I pray everything turns out well. You are stronger than you know or ever wanted to be. We all are!

      over 4 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Hi, RMR. I recall having a tiny bit of blood in my urine about 20 years ago and it turned out to be nothing. The wonderful folks on this site have just about said it all in answer to your post. I especially like SandiD's response. I just wanted to add my best wishes. I completely understand your anxiety. Hang in there, RMR. I remember asking a counselor years ago "What if XYZ happens?" She replied, "What if it doesn't?" Hugs to you.

      over 4 years ago
    • lago's Avatar
      lago

      I'm almost in on 3 year survivor. From time to time you will have "pimples". Sometimes they are serious but most of the time they are not. As survivors we need to have everything checked out… including the possibility of cancer. But my feeling is I'm not going to assume I have an issue until someone tells me so. We have to live our lives.

      Here is my not so famous seat belt speech: We drive in our cars, many of daily. We don't assume we are going to get into a car accident. We do put on our seat belt just in case but don't really think much of it when we are driving. We do our best to drive safely. Cancer is the same way. You do what you can to prevent it from coming back by living an healthy lifestyle and taking what ever meds or precautions your doctors have recommended. Like any other person, even those that never had cancer, when something is not functioning properly we see our doctors to get it checked out.

      So while you wait for results assume the best, have fun and go live your life. That's what surviving is all about! And if you need a some help dealing with the psychological part don't be afraid to ask for it. ♥

      over 4 years ago

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