• People offering their opinions on what the most recent and current treatment is, as if they are the expert on cancer

    Asked by Queen_Tatiana on Thursday, October 4, 2012

    People offering their opinions on what the most recent and current treatment is, as if they are the expert on cancer

    I am so tired of friends, family, and even the occasional postal worker telling me exactly what my husband should be doing to cure his cancer, yes CURE his cancer. The one I really hate is a family member telling me my husband ate too much red meat and pork and that is why he has colon cancer. How can they have the nerve to say the things they say?

    5 Answers from the Community

    5 answers
    • CarolLHRN's Avatar

      I find people really don't know what to say so they have to say something and it's usually the wrong thing. You will hear all sorts of things during your journey. I had rectal cancer and there is a link between HPV and rectal cancer now so people said all sorts of things about me and I probably got rectal cancer because I some of my behaviors. It was really hurtful but I also had a group of close friends that I could get support from. The rest I really stopped interacting with because saying things like that does not change the situation that you have cancer and you have to go through therapy.

      almost 6 years ago
    • nobrand's Avatar

      A mere 15 minutes after finding out about my liver mass on the phone, my boss asked what was wrong. I gave her a brief run-down, then she immediately starts to talking about how it must have been toxins and my past smoking. It hurt my feelings, and it was unnecessary.

      I guess what I'm trying to say is that I enjoyed all of, what, 14 minutes before the long line of people offering their cancer prognosis began. Everyone has an opinion, and some of them somewhat hurtful. 99.9% of all this stuff isn't worth remembering.

      How do they have the nerve? I don't know. Just let the postal worker come to me on the wrong day, and I would give him or her an earful about just how they're doing the whole mail delivering thing wrong. You know-- since we're all experts here :)

      No really.. I would be tempted to ask how on earth they can be wasting their cancer fighting skills out delivering the mail...

      almost 6 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      What I really hate is the know-it-all-paranoid who tells me, "You know, there really IS a cure for cancer! They are just keeping it from us because they're making more money this way! Really! It's on the Internet!"

      I have run into 3 people who firmly believe this...and it was hard for me not to laugh at their ignorance.

      almost 6 years ago
    • Rosa's Avatar

      Smile (this is for your own good, not theirs), thank them for their help, concern, and suggestions. Then tell them right now there is no known cause or cure for cancer. That you will follow the doctor's instructions to help your husband fight and survive. Repeat, repeat, repeat again until they stop been so wise.
      Be strong, hopeful, and God bless

      almost 6 years ago
    • teddyfuzz's Avatar

      People are stupid...but they ususally mean well. That's what you need to focus on. You can also be snarky about it if you want to. The next time someone tells you that it was the red meat that caused your husband's cancer, look at them with all seriousness and say "Really? The doctor said it was impure thoughts/too much TV/exercise/laundry detergent/organic vegetables/etc." Then you can secretly laugh because I guarantee that they are going to spend the next 3+ hours Googling cancer+whatever cause you gave them. Sending lots of positive thoughts to you and your husband!!

      almost 6 years ago

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