• Prayer and/or Positive Outlook? or Prayer vs Personal positive determined attitude dealing with Cancer

    Asked by kickasscowgirl on Monday, May 20, 2013

    Prayer and/or Positive Outlook? or Prayer vs Personal positive determined attitude dealing with Cancer

    I definitely take a positive mental and emotional approach to accepting and working my way through having cancer, helping my family and friends not be fearful, I focus on the good happening as a result of it and be an example on how to have courage often with humor, in the face of fearful cancer issues as they come along (diagnosis, test results, side effects..all of it)

    So many people ask or say they will pray...
    I appreciate that it shows me they care and love me, But I ask:PRAY THANKFUL PRAYERS... or pray for my mom, she's hurting and scared, I tell them how I've been blessed through this. I got this reply and it upset me:

    "I've learned that sheer strength of will or excellent medical care are insufficient on their own to heal. That is why we will pray, to the One who knows you best and loves you more than any human ever could, for your complete restoration and healing"

    However, after feeling sad and puzzling over it I decided my attitude puts "feet" to the prayers.

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • HearMeRoar's Avatar
      HearMeRoar

      People don't know what to say/ how to say it and just want to be helpful. I have had several things said to me that "upset" me. I very soon had to accept that people say things without knowing what they're really saying. I can guarantee I've done the same thing when it comes to someone else facing a challenging situation.

      I hear your frustration - and recognize that I have frustration too. However, I think the best thing you can do is breathe in and breathe out and keep on keeping on.... realizing the person thinks they said something helpful, not harmful. Don't give them the power to question what you believe or how you feel. You keep on with your positive attitude!!

      almost 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      I think you are great. but I also agree with HMR..People don't know what to say. You know I was by my sisters side for 8 years while she fought advanced cancer..At the end I kept telling her to hold on and fight..I so regret saying that..I told her this for me not her. I love her more than anyhting. She was my closest friend. And still I screwed up.
      No matter how hard we try none of us are perfect. We all trip and fall.
      I have a great deal of faith so I would have been grateful for that prayer. But not everyone shares the same outlook. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Really.

      I just had a girlfriend say to me..well so and so just got cancer I guess they deserved it.
      I had to very gently tell her what a horrible thing that was to say. So go easy on yourself and those around you because everything is hyper sensitive.

      All the best,

      almost 4 years ago
    • Topazcat's Avatar
      Topazcat

      I love your attitude. That is the way I have been getting through my diagnosis of Lobular Inflammatory Breast Cancer! Do what YOU need to do to fight this cancer. Attitude has so much to do with having the strength and will to keep fighting. All of us are individuals and handle things differently. You are strong! Good luck.

      almost 4 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar
      JennyMiller

      Your positive attitude is outstanding and it is your most valuable weapon in your battle.
      I personally have a great faith in the power of prayer -- I feel that through the power of prayer, the Good Lord has brought me through this storm. The prayers that people say for you enforce your positive attitude, radiate to your medical team that they make the right decisions in your treatment plan and radiate to your mom to ease her hurt and fear. I totally agree with you in your request for "Thankful Prayers" that you have been able to be strong, to focus on the good and to be an example of courage. People who have not traveled our journey just don't understand -- some of the comments can be thoughtless, rude and hurting. Just consider the source and continue your valiant battle. I wish you the best.

      almost 4 years ago
    • MillieS's Avatar
      MillieS

      We all travel on different roads. I believe in both, but that's what gives me comfort and strengh. It's important, regardless, to have that very positve outlook. It takes a lot of strength to walk our walk. Sounds to me like you are a very strong positive individual with a good attitude. You must go your way and don't let others make you feel badly that you are not doing it their way.stay. Stay strong , stay positive, and laugh whenever you can. Hugs

      almost 4 years ago
    • MarianneT's Avatar
      MarianneT

      You have an awesome attitude that is working for you so stick with it. If people don't understand ... oh well. I told people when I was going through treatment that I had never been selfish my whole life and now I am going to be selfish and take care of myself. I too focused on the positive. I remember thinking as crazy as it sounds, some parts of my journey have been amazing! I focused on the amazing people I met and even silly things like how darn good I
      looked bald. I chose to use both in my journey I was prayerful but I too focused on the silver linings. Check my page, I think you will appreciate the poem I posted. It's my fav.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Benge's Avatar
      Benge

      I love your attitude!! This quote has been very meaningful to me through this breast cancer battle: 'Every experience God gives us, every person he puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only he can see. -Corrie ten Boom'
      Faith and humor are the best tools to healing!!
      Thank you for posting!!
      Adriana

      almost 4 years ago
    • Canto's Avatar
      Canto

      I agree people can come at you with their own view of cancer. I personally dislike the "stay strong and fight" mentality. I see this as more of a baby crying and I need to discern the problem. Dig deep, what is THE source of your hope and positive attitude? I believe that mine is attributed to the assurance that I am belong to a loving God..and I dislike the "whoa is me" way of life. I've done my part in working with doctors, exercising, equipping myself with information and a support system, etc. Sometimes you've done all you can and there are difficult and uncertain times. Much could be written about the power of prayer. For me, " I don't leave home without it" and I welcome and am thankful for every expression of prayer from others: Thankfulness, specific needs, comfort for others. Interesting and unexpected issues come out of this journey don't they?

      almost 4 years ago
    • Canto's Avatar
      Canto

      I agree people can come at you with their own view of cancer. I personally dislike the "stay strong and fight" mentality. I see this as more of a baby crying and I need to discern the problem. Dig deep, what is THE source of your hope and positive attitude? I believe that mine is attributed to the assurance that I am belong to a loving God..and I dislike the "whoa is me" way of life. I've done my part in working with doctors, exercising, equipping myself with information and a support system, etc. Sometimes you've done all you can and there are difficult and uncertain times. Much could be written about the power of prayer. For me, " I don't leave home without it" and I welcome and am thankful for every expression of prayer from others: Thankfulness, specific needs, comfort for others. Interesting and unexpected issues come out of this journey don't they?

      almost 4 years ago
    • Canto's Avatar
      Canto

      I agree people can come at you with their own view of cancer. I personally dislike the "stay strong and fight" mentality. I see this as more of a baby crying and I need to discern the problem. Dig deep, what is THE source of your hope and positive attitude? I believe that mine is attributed to the assurance that I am belong to a loving God..and I dislike the "whoa is me" way of life. I've done my part in working with doctors, exercising, equipping myself with information and a support system, etc. Sometimes you've done all you can and there are difficult and uncertain times. Much could be written about the power of prayer. For me, " I don't leave home without it" and I welcome and am thankful for every expression of prayer from others: Thankfulness, specific needs, comfort for others. Interesting and unexpected issues come out of this journey don't they?

      almost 4 years ago
    • Canto's Avatar
      Canto

      So sorry the response was added 3 times. I don't know how to remove it! Best wishes!

      almost 4 years ago
    • Gabba's Avatar
      Gabba

      When I tell people that I am praying for them and their loved ones I pray that they receive whatever it is they need to get through that day...a kind word, a smile, a hug, a note from a friend or acquaintance (some of the nicest cards and notes I received while going through treatment were from folks I barely knew but took time to reach out and give encouragement)... We need different things at different times and I pray you get them all!

      almost 4 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar
      Ydnar2xer

      And THAT is the reason for my Viking hat, complete with yellow braids and horns--which I'll be wearing later this morning to my Herceptin infusion! You go, girl!

      almost 4 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar
      karen1956

      When I was going through Tx or just recently when my father passed away, when people told me that they would keep me in their prayers, it showed me that they cared about me (and now my family).....as long as people are praying for good things...whether for recovery, for health or for strength it feels good to me....In tough times, its nice to know that people care enough to keep you in their thoughts....Kickasscowgirl....I love your attitude!!! You are awesome!!!

      almost 4 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      I'm not even Christian, but I've had plenty of people say they would pray for me. I figure good energy is good energy, whether it's from prayer, good thoughts or hocus pocus. That person is employing their faith to wish me well. I'm good w/that. And I'll think good thoughts for you AND your family. : )

      almost 4 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      Prayer for family members is just as important as it is for you because they are scared. I joked with my Aunt before she passed about losing 6 lbs of boobs and she didn't think it was funny. Poor thing. She was scared for me because the type of cancer that run in our family is colon cancer. The doctor said he got it all because I was stage 0 DCIS localized so I knew I was going to be okay. When the nurse at the doctor's office mentions I've lost weight (which I have) I tell her it's because I have no boobs. We had a good laugh over that one. Husband didn't appreciate it, but it was funny. I get my implants on the 24th of June so I am really excited. This is the last surgery for a while concerning cancer anyway. Have to have three others, but I can space those apart because they are not life threatening. Good luck kickasscowfgirl and don't let anybody bring you down. Your a winner and you need to stay that way. :-)

      almost 4 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      "...my attitude puts "feet" to my prayers." I like that a lot.

      almost 4 years ago
    • kickasscowgirl's Avatar
      kickasscowgirl

      Such awesome responses. Thank you so much, I almost thought I shouldn't put anything questioning prayer in any way, but as I've seen here before, again; kind, sensitive and thoughtful support as always. I agree that people don't know what to say, and I appreciate any offer of support. @HearMeRoar "Don't give them the power to question what you believe or how you feel." is great advice. I forget that sometimes. @CAS1, how horrible to hear someone say anyone deserves cancer! Although I imagined that's what my ex-husband might have thought! LOL Terrible of me to say, but likely! And I think you're right about the hypersensitivity.

      I have seen that keeping my positive attitude has even inspired others, and realizing from many comment's here, I see I need to remember that everyone comes from different viewpoints in what strengthens them.

      I really appreciate the encouragement and viewpoints. Thank you!

      almost 4 years ago
    • Grandy's Avatar
      Grandy

      This ditty from "The King and I" came to my mind, thought I'd sing it to you! :) It reminds me of our attitudes which do affect us... (meaning my focus in the song is not the being afraid, but the whistling!!!! )

      "Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, and whistle a happy tune, so no one will suspect I'm afraid...
      ...I whistle a happy tune and every single time, the happiness in the tune convinces me that I'm not afraid!!! "

      All to say that I believe God gives us ways to help us through the tough stuff. Music, prayer, humor, and our attitudes!!! Like you, I stay positive most of the time!

      almost 4 years ago

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