• Quit?

    Asked by Jalemans on Friday, September 12, 2014

    Quit?

    Has anyone ever felt like it is all just too much? I am thinking...

    24 Answers from the Community

    24 answers
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      Yes, from the phone call that said I had to have chemo and radiation. 2 days later, I called back and told them to cancel all my appts. Within 5 minutes of my call, I had a doctor on the line. He took more time to explain everything to me because I felt like you do. Why should I put myself through the torture of treatment if I'm terminal anyway. Well, it took 7 months to complete my treatment and tried to quit again when I got the radiation (due to diarrhia). I couldn't stop going to the bathroom to even drive to the hospital for my treatments. I even stopped eating and drinking to stop the diarrhia, and nothing helped. I had 6 weeks of treatment and I tried to stop after 2 weeks, and the fun was just beginning at that time. Well, now it's been 2.5 years since I've completed all my treatment. Oh, and yes, I managed to have a second primary cancer, thyroid since then. But, I had that treated 2 years ago. I'm in remission for both at this time. I just had my first grandchild 1 year ago and unfortunately lost my mother 1.5 years ago. But, I'm glad I lived long enough to make my mother's last days comfortable for her because she depended on me for all her medical treatment, decisions, etc. So, if I can offer you any words of encouragement, please try to see the future not the pain and discomfort you're feeling today. I know I had many bad days and needed many I.V's because I couldn't eat/drink during any of my treatment. I'm still working on my new normal, but getting there. My thyroid medicine is getting close to being right, so I feel like I have a somewhat normal amount of energy to get to work each day. I hope you have some better days ahead.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Keith59's Avatar
      Keith59

      Jalemans, hang in there...never give up my friend. Things will get better. I pray for comfort, strength, and healing for you. Blessings.

      almost 7 years ago
    • alimccalli's Avatar
      alimccalli

      I think we have probably all been there t some point. On days when it was all I could do to get out of bed, I often wondered if it was all worth it. But I am here today, and doing pretty dang good overall.

      Cam said it great...try to focus on your post-treatment future...this is temporary. It may seem like it is going to last forever, but many of us are here to tell you that there is much to look forward to when it is all over...you just have to hang on and get here...

      One thing that helped me to get through my last few treatments was planning the big @$$ end of chemo bash I wanted to have...it was to celebrate me and thank all my supportive family and friends...it was something to look forward to and keep my mind busy...so maybe you need to find something you can focus on for when you are finished treatment - a party, a vacation, something FUN...

      almost 7 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I agree with the others, and I think that we have all been there at some point. I also planned a trip after completing my intravenous chemo regiments. That is what I suggest that you do- plan something fun to do after you are done. Reward yourself for a battle well fought and won!
      A party is a great idea, even going away for the weekend, anything that you can look forward to. Because this will pass, and you will forget all about it afterwards and go forward with your life. I don’t know if it is because of the drugs or just the human mind’s way of coping, but my intravenous chemo’s days are a vague blur to me now. This is just something temporary to go through and your life is worth every second of it!
      But also it wasn’t nearly as bad as I though it would be, so if you are having severe side effects please let your oncologist and your medical team know and keep complaining until you get help. Sometimes you need to try a few different things until you find out what works for you. For example- I had terrible neuropathy and the only thing that worked well turned out to be Lyrica, which is a cousin of other neuropathy drugs but those didn’t work on me- go figure!
      So hang in there and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and every day you are one step closer to getting out of that tunnel! Good luck and God bless!

      almost 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I have never given up, and don't think that I ever will. But yes I have wondered if I could do it. When sitting in front of the toilet for 4 hours throwing up, then just heaving because there's nothing left to come up. Losing 50#, stuck in the hospital with a rogue infection, etc. We all go through most of these things and they are tough, but you just have to be tougher. Hang on, you can do it.

      almost 7 years ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      It is very overwhelming to hear the cancer diagnosis. I'm sure you have had quite a few sleepless nights concerning everything around you, your family, how the chemo will be handled by your body, and much more worries. It's understandable that you just want to walk away and pretend that your life is back to normal. But because of the diagnosis, your life will be changed forever. Find something to focus on while you are going through all of the bad stuff. My focus was my daughter's wedding just a few months after chemo. I had to focus on getting through all the crap, and getting well again to enjoy life and her wedding. Set goals for yourself after treatment is over. My two goals were to have hair, and to enjoy the wedding. My hair was about 3/4 of an inch but I had hair, and I was strong enough to enjoy the most important day so far of my daughter's life.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Judt1940's Avatar
      Judt1940

      After first two chemos I told my daughter I could not do it. Had to have IV hydration, fainted, fell, diarrhea, you name it I had it. Oncologist cut dosage in half. It was doable after that.

      almost 7 years ago
    • myronbob's Avatar
      myronbob

      you can rest assure we all have those days ,but they pass . from your previous posts you sound tough and this tough moment to shall paas . all the best . bob

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      As usual I'll be the Skunk in the Room.
      Many Cancer Patients DO Reach that Hospice Stage and stop treatments. I don't think that means you are a Quitter BUT there DOES reach a point of diminishing returns for many of us and that's just the way it is. There is a time for fighting and Killing, a time for healing and also a time for letting go. Everybody on the Planet will go through this unless they die suddenly. SO.....don't beat yourself up by thinking you HAVE to fight till die anyway. I have seen people as a Hospice Nurse who after years and years of chemo and radiation FINALLY stop and just let it all go. They get great meds and can finally STOP FIGHTING and relax a bit. I've seen many not stay on Hospice for every 3 months the re evaluated the case.....BUT we need to be realistic as well as a fighter....Just my take on it......

      almost 7 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I’m going to battle the Skunk, although I am very fond of his posts- but you are only stage 1! You can definitely get through this and put it completely behind you. I was stage 1 uterine cancer as well and I had a more aggressive one that you have. Hang in there, believe me that you will forget all about it afterwards and heal. I’ve also said this before but I fought my way back to dancing professionally- the uterine cancer treatments were a hit because they were during my treatments for breast cancer, so I definitely know how you can feel like quitting. But the healing power of our bodies can be absolutely amazing sometimes! Hugs!!!

      almost 7 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      So far my cancer treatments have been manageable (and if there's a problem I tell my team), but I've been there in other contexts. What helps me is writing everything out -- rants, pain, pros, cons, etc. -- in my journal. The more I write, the more I figure things out, the more I get everything off my chest. Sometimes what I think is the real issue ends up being a proxy for what the issue really is. Meditation could also be a way to focus and center and find one's individual truth. Whatever works.

      almost 7 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Jalemans, please don't give up! Without a doubt, you have been through a lot, but we need for you to keep up the fight!! I hope it doesn't sound trite, but maybe you could have a journal where you list things that you are thankful for or reasons to live.

      There were a couple of times when I was sooooo sick from chemo that I wondered if it was worth it all. Those thoughts were fleeting. I surely hope yours are too! Praying for you, my friend!

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Maybe just a break from treatments for awhile?

      almost 7 years ago
    • zubsha's Avatar
      zubsha

      I have always coped by telling myself that I absolutely will quit when it gets to be too much but is today really the day? Inevitably I get to the end one day at a time. Until the day I quit I agree to show up and do what is required This is how I made it through residency and this is how I made it through chemo! Part of the reason not to quit is the abyss that follows. That emptiness is terrifying. Do this one day at a time and you will be glad when you emerge on the other side! Good luck

      almost 7 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      We have all been there. I am sorry you are there. It is just temporary. This too shall pass. I was in bed for four months during chemo. I remember saying to my husband chemo was killing. I felt I was suffering a slow agonizing death. My medical onc was no help but chemo nurses were the best! Some days I would just tell myself I just needed to get thru five minutes at a time. I am now year out from chemo and finally feel better but have awful nerve damage..I started radiation in October. I finished the end of November. Set some milestones. Plan a weekend away or a party or buy New piece of furniture. Do something you enjoy every day even if it is just feel I g the sun on your face or birds chirping..only you know how much you can tolerate. We did have to stop after four chemo treatments..I could no longer stand on my feet as the nerve damage was so bad. Hang in there. You got this. Sending you a big hug.

      Jane

      almost 7 years ago
    • Janetspringer's Avatar
      Janetspringer

      I didn't feel like I wanted to quit until the cancer metastasized to my brain. However, God is in control, and I will fight until He chooses to take me. A part of me longs to go home, but it's not time yet.

      almost 7 years ago
    • AmyJo's Avatar
      AmyJo

      I battle with this constantly because I'm at the end of my journey. I continue to fight and will until I'm ready to go. I think I'll know when it's the right time.

      Hugs!

      almost 7 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      My experiance is a little different. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my life was in the toilet, I wanted to die. When my nephew (a PCP doctor ) found a doctor (one of his patients) who definately wanted my case because of the new surgery she was teaching, what could I say, I had to fight. I now look at myself as a soldier whose company is trying to take a city. I may not live to win the war. But every treatment , every office visit is a small victory. I have noticed over these four years and particularly the last 18 months that the attitude of my oncologist has changed, he has become more open-minded and reasearch oriented a small victory. I am determined to die with my boots on fighting cancer with my last breath and after that insisting on an autopsy.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar
      Jalemans

      The chemo sucked, but that isn't it. The treatments have landed me in the hospital twice & my oncologist thinks we should stop so the treatments don't kill me. That doesn't leave me with any options. There are no tests to determine if the chemo so far worked. My onc office was supposed to follow up with me, but didn't. There are very few oncologists who specialize in leiomyosarcoma & I do trust mine (except she is on maternity leave & they have kind of forgotten about me). My family & friends are sick of this situation after all these months & act like nothing is wrong - they don't want to hear about it - nobody even asked if my thyroid test came back as cancer (it didn't). Now I have swollen lymph nodes - is it my cancer & if so my odds just went to zero. I just feel adrift without options. I am thinking of just pretending I don't have cancer & just ignoring it all.

      Lilymadeline, what kind of sarcoma did you have? With my cancer, even though I am stage 1, I am also level 3, had a huge tumor, & had cancer cells in my blood vessels, all of which plays a part in my cancer. They thought we would try chemo to see if we could kill off the cells in my blood, but if it recurs or mets there is no treatment other than to cut it out. It is very rare & aggressive & they don't know much about it.

      almost 7 years ago
    • SullyJackson's Avatar
      SullyJackson

      It sounds like you feel like you don't have much control or hope but please call your onc office, since they didn't follow up with you. Don't be the one who "slipped through the cracks". Talk to a social worker at institute where you are being treated. Maybe you can find someone who specializes in your kind of cancer. Remember that we are our own best advocates. While I have people around me who say they want to help, advocating for me isn't something they will do because they don't feel capable. Maybe your friends just don't know what to do. Hang in there. Hope and help is available. Hugs.

      almost 7 years ago
    • judyinflorida's Avatar
      judyinflorida

      No matter how sick we are friends and family can't always make us the center of attention. They have lives too. We have to remember that and not be too demanding and needy or wear everyone out. It is up to us to be our own advocates. Take it upon yourself to DEMAND attention from your medical staff. If you don't get the help you want and need, go somewhere else. There are caring and competent people everywhere. Don't give in and don't give up.

      almost 7 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Jalemans I noticed that you are in Minnesota. Are are you anywhere near the Mayo Clinic can you contact them about their cancer care? I know you love your onc. but she is on the mommy track for now and I don't think she would mind if you went elsewhere.

      almost 7 years ago
    • Blondedeedee's Avatar
      Blondedeedee

      Jalemans, I am sorry you feel so despondent. I agree with many of these other posts, be proactive, take charge of your care, its your body. I wish you lived near me in Lancaster, PA. Our Anne Barshinger cancer center is cutting edge, and I never felt alone. I had a total emotional breakdown one day in my radiologists office when he asked a simple question, "how are you?" I just cried and cried, and he said, " I am going to get you some help right now." He called in the social worker, and while we were waiting for her, he just sat with me, and let me cry. She was an enormous help, and then I began seeing a counsellor there. She helped me to figure things out, be proactive, and compartmentalize my concerns. She also helped me to stop imagining scenarios, because she said "scenarios don't come true." They are just our imagination running wild. I am much calmer, and ready to deal with my new normal. I wish you the best, and can only say, please don't give up.

      almost 7 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      Hi Jalemans,
      I had clear cell sarcoma also stage 1 grade 3, and if you have a rare cancer I know how hard it is getting help for one! This isn’t much of a comparison but I have a rare autoimmune disease as well and getting even diagnosed for that was a nightmare- they had no idea what was wrong with me and it was so frustrating! Even after having a seizures they didn’t know what was causing them. It was very frightening to me at the time ,but eventually I did get a proper diagnosis and treatment but if I hadn’t pushed so hard and kept seeing different doctors I never would have gotten even diagnosed. Can you imagine having seizures without any warning, and no idea what was causing them? That was hard for me at the time.
      And I agree with BoseB that it sounds like your oncologist is on the mommy track for now and probably very distracted from work. Unfortunately sometimes doctors do let their personal life get in the way, they’re human and it can happen.
      But please someone find your way to a big cancer center, that is what you need with any rare cancer! It is very important! And I also agree that you need a social worker to help you at this time, you will probably need transportation and housing. The American Cancer Society has housing available in some cities so ask Greg for help and check about that, and there is medical transportation available for air travel sometimes as well, this is going to take work so I would get the help of a social worker but I recently posted information about Angel Flight West, that is an organization out here in the Western states where pilots donate for free their time and aircraft to fly cancer patients and others to hospitals for evaluation and treatment, but their service has to be requested by either a doctor or social worker. Just their policy. They would be a good place to start to find out about getting transportation in your area because they might be able to refer you to someone that goes to your city. ( those organizations all seem to know about each other ) Obviously it might take some detective work, but it certainly is worth it. Contact MD Anderson, Mayo Clinic, all the heavy hitters. If anyone is familiar and working with your type of cancer it will be at one of those places. My mother had a rare cancer herself and she had to go from her community hospital to UCLA to get treatment because her community hospital didn’t know what to do with her, in fact they weren’t going to treat her at all. I’m just thinking and rambling on and trying to help somehow......
      And so sorry about your family and friends! UGH! But that is why you need a social worker, and do reach out to people you know and ask for help, somebody might just surprise you and reach back! Your swollen lymph nodes could something completely unrelated to cancer, even an infection. Have them look into it but hopefully it will be alright. You sound like such a nice lady I want to help you somehow myself! Hugs! You might even try City of Hope in the Southern California area, they have housing sometimes available and deal with many rare cancers. It is really a wonderful place, I’ve had friends in treatment there and I have gone there a few times for consultations. I’m at a cancer center closer to my home, but only because they actually have a specialist there for my type of breast cancer. Let me know if I can help somehow. Love and God bless! Hugs!!!

      almost 7 years ago

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