• re: stage 4 kidney cancer - metastisized - what do you say to a 54 yr. old niece who has been sent home to die?

    Asked by Created07 on Saturday, June 1, 2019

    re: stage 4 kidney cancer - metastisized - what do you say to a 54 yr. old niece who has been sent home to die?

    I have survived 4 major cancers.

    5 Answers from the Community

    5 answers
    • Skyemberr's Avatar
      Skyemberr

      That's not an easy one. I'm very sorry to hear about your niece.

      I'd be telling here you're there for her. Let her know that there is hope in the form of clinical trials and in the meantime you are there to help her as much as possible. Maybe offer to go with her to appointments since you have experience with cancer?

      Most of all, tell her you love her.

      5 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      You tell her that you love her. I have a friend who is not doing well at all. I call her to tell her that I'm thinking about her and praying for her ... that I want her to know I care. Past that, I don't know what more to say or do, especially since she is in DC and I am in Texas.

      5 months ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      When I have to deal with a patient who has gotten that same issue, I tell them that I could not imagine what that would feel like to hear that from my doctor. But, at this moment in your journey...I am here; use me. I try to get them to open up by asking them how they feel about their prognosis. I tell them that no matter what, they will not go through this alone... I will be there every step of the way. That I promise them that they will not be in pain and they will be ready...without fear. Sometimes, it's all they want to hear, that someone will be there in that last goodnight. I used to work on an end of life unit so I had to have those conversations daily. They just need someone to hear them because we can't change the outcome so it comes down to them...we will always have a choice right up to that last minute. There will always come a time when our will to live becomes a will to leave but until then, she is still the one who can decide how she chooses to live in what remains of her time. Nobody leaves before they are ready. In the over 500 that I have been with in those last moments, no one fears it and everyone chooses that path...they never yield to another opinion or time frame. I hope this helps.

      5 months ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      She is so lucky to have you for support right now. You have been through much of the same pain. Hopefully she will talk to you about all the fears and feelings she’s having. Just be there, listening and offering whatever helps her to be able to have peace through it all.

      5 months ago
    • Created07's Avatar
      Created07

      Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I appreciate it more than I can say. I went to see her and, in talking to her, got My answer. I simply told her, "I have no idea why this is happening to you. What I Do know is this...before you were born God Knew exactly where you would be at this very time....and He was here when you got here. It's already taken care of ..by Him..out of His love. This was My answer too. We're human and we question. But knowing who is in charge does help.

      5 months ago

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