• tlc's Avatar

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    Asked by tlc on Tuesday, April 30, 2013

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    I am my husbands caregiver as he has been mine I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fybromyaigia. I am so scared that I will have bad days when he does and I won't beable to take care of him the way I want. He has been so patient with me and I am scared to death that I will loose my world if I loose him. I know I need to get a hold of myself because I cry all the time. I have no one to share my grief with.

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • Barb_TX's Avatar
      Barb_TX

      Hi. I am new to caregiver and experiencing cancer on a daily basis. My husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer unexpectedly in December of last year. Since then my life had been turned upside down and then some! I felt like you where I would just go through life, crying at everything. I finally talked to my family doctor about my husband's cancer and how I was crying all the time. He gave me the lowest dose of the generic of Prozac. I can't tell you how much this has helped! I can not only get through my days without crying, but at times, I am catching myself actually singing and even having a smile in my face!!! Not something I have experienced for a long time. I have to admit, from time to time, I need to take a booster of calming medicine with an additional Xanax, but I really can cope minute by minute now! I am not one to take pills to begin with, but I highly recommend asking for some kind of med to help you and your husband to live through this horrible stage in your life, I am so sorry but know things could actually be worse. I keep telling my dear husband that every day. My best wishes to you and your husband,

      almost 4 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar
      Ydnar2xer

      I agree with Barb. For me, antidepressants didn't make me falsely "HAPPY" all the time--but rather, made it so I could much better deal with the daily trials of life. I think many people have the impression that antidepressants either make you a zombie or hysterically cheerful--but for me, I have not found that to be true. It doesn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it. But if she/he prescribes, do know that sometimes it takes a while (for me, almost a year) until the right balance can be found in dosage and type of pill. Good luck and take care!

      almost 4 years ago
    • SandiD's Avatar
      SandiD

      I am so sorry, this is such a stressful time for you both. Your cancer center should have a Social Worker associated with them. Contact them and they can refer you for help for yourself. Or contact your primary care doctor for a referral. Also, at the bottom of this page is a purple box you can click on for some additional resources. You know how when we fly they tell us to give oxygen to ourselves first? That is because if we do not save ourselves, we cannot help another person. Please get all the help you deserve for yourself. Reaching out is the first step, so good for you! One thing I do know is that we are all stronger than we know or ever wanted to be. Good luck! Never give up.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SandiD's Avatar
      SandiD

      http://www.cancer.org/treatment/caregivers/index

      You might check these articles out.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar
      Kathy

      My emotions have been helped with a little bit of medicine but I have also been benefiting from talking with a social worker that specializes in treating cancer patients and their families. It does help to be able to talk about all of this. The whole cancer experience just makes us so vulnerable and the emotions are just so raw.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar
      Peroll

      tlc, My wife also has both arthritis and fibromyalgia and has been my caregiver for 8 1/2 years. She has done just fine in caring for me. She is here on WhatNext as Queen Tatainia, look her up. The key is to be sure to take care of your self and not let your health issues suffer too much. Make sure you take time for yourself so that you don't burn out on his care. I know that sounds hard to do he will notice if you get too tired and need time off. Also let him do what he can for himself, don't try and do everything for him. Let him help you some times as you need it. Barb is right that you should talk to your Dr about an anti-depressant med as they can help you cope with everything on your plate. Good Luck and let us know what else we can do to help.

      almost 4 years ago

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