• Role reversal with caregiver

    Asked by Peroll on Saturday, January 5, 2013

    Role reversal with caregiver

    My wife and primary caregiver is currently in the hospital (I am writig this from her bedside as she sleeps) so I have become the caregiver now. It give me prospective on how hard her job is as I get frstrated that I can't just make her feel better. It also makes me realize how boring sitting in the hospital can be (thank god for WiFi). Have any of you experienced a similar situation??

    By the way I have let the Drs know that she needs to be out by noon tomorrow or they have to Rx a 50" TV for her room in time for the Seahalks game!!!!

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Let me know how that TV thing works out, the next time I will use your method.

      Yes I've been there twice. With Mom and Dad. Just a short while after i got done taking my last treatments, my Dad's prostate cancer went haywire and started spreading. We had to take care of him in Hospice. Then shortly after he passed (2 months) Mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, we also took care of her in Hospice. Yep, there is a lot to it, and that position doesn't come with an instruction manual.

      over 5 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Yep. 2 years ago my husband was in and out of the hospital 5 times over a 3 month period. He already had COPD and developed a very stubborn case of pneumonia that really exacerbated his COPD and causing A-fib and congestive heart failure. He finally recovered from the pneumonia but had to be on oxygen 24/7 at home for another 4 months. It was pretty challenging for both of us, just as last year was when I had to rely on him to pick up my slack while I was in active treatment.

      Please say hello to your wife for me. I hope all is going well and she will be back here soon.

      over 5 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      Mine was the reverse. I took care of my mom before she died of lung cancer which had metastasized to her liver. Then I became the patient and had to rely on extended family and friends to take care of me. It was really difficult, because I was used to doing everything and now I had to ask people to help me.

      over 5 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar

      I had always been healthy and strong --- and was the caregiver for my husband through a bout of Hepatitis years ago --Gall Bladder & Tonsil Surgery -- and then through his agonizing years of back problems. In fact, he was in the hospital with a broken back when I was diagnosed. We were quite the pair -- I referred to us as the "Dynamic Duo". The Role of Caregiver was new to him and it was hard for him with his back. A few days after his release from the hospital, he sat in a Waiting Room (in his back brace) for 6 hours while they "tortured" me (MRI's, Ultrasounds, Biopsies, Mammos) in their effort to locate my elusive cancer that did not show on the original Mammogram or Ultrasound (detected in lymph nodes) - in fact I passed out at the end of the 6 grueling hours, fell on my face and broke my nose (my grand finale). Anyway, having been the Caregiver previously - I was well aware of the bedside vigil and the feeling of helplessness so I knew what he was taking on. It made me more determined to be strong and positive. He has been amazing--loving, caring and understanding. The best was the hot wash cloths and massage on the bald head!!!!!! I am fortunate in that he likes to cook and is skilled in household chores. This Role Reversal with Caregiver has given us a deeper appreciation of each other..

      over 5 years ago
    • cris' Avatar

      I took care of my mom which had lung cancer that spread to her neck & the top of here spine, she passed away June 2011. The following year I was diagnosed with stage III Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I find it hard having people do for me since I usually do for others.

      over 5 years ago
    • ElizaM's Avatar

      I have been the main source as nurturer and caregiver for my 3 kids for 20+ years who are scattered all over the country now. Having just survived 6 months of chemo with extreme difficulty, which brought on major depression, as I felt the treatment was worse than the disease and killing me, I miss dreadfully having the support you talk about, since I have been totally alone during the entire process. I don't know how to ask for support and for others to provide the care I have needed and know I have a lot to learn from this experience. Now supposedly in remission and regaining some of my strength I need to make changes in my life so, should I go through this again, I can find the support I will need. Have no idea where to turn. I envy all you folks who have spouses that are turning into angels, and I hear clearly how much you appreciate the support you have received. Bless us all - let's work on putting pressure on the pharmaceutical companies to bring out the big guns we all know they have, to cure this disease, instead of making a fortune from our suffering. We know they have cures - they are just more interested in flying their jets than saving lives.

      over 5 years ago
    • kacy's Avatar

      My husband of twenty seven years had a 'sudden cardiac death' sixteen years ago and was revived at the Austin airport while on business. I flew from our home in Calif. and spent a week by his side in the hospital until he could be flown home. He didn't recognize me or pictures of our children during that time.
      Now I am coping with colon cancer stage 2. Bless his heart, he can't get his head around the fact that I am sick. He is not helpful and resists seeing that I need him. He agreed to see a counselor with me and I have hope. Frustrating to the max!

      over 5 years ago

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