• Should I ask for another doctor?

    Asked by acedamama on Tuesday, February 5, 2013

    Should I ask for another doctor?

    My fiance's radiation doctor is young and seems to be an egomaniac, but there is another doctor in his clinic who is older and seems very compatinate Should I see if I can change docotors?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      If the both of you do not feel comfortable with the doctor in questions, by all means ask for another one. Having a team (not just the radiation oncologist ) you feel comfortable with and is a good fit, is very important.

      over 4 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Is this your doctor or your fiance's doctor? If you fiance's, the choice is not your's to make.

      over 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Drs are not always known for their bedside manner and ego is a by product of the job. Do some research. How do others feel about him? What is his reputation (what school did he attend, where did he intern...knowledge is golden). My onc has the bedside manner of a dripping faucet, but he is considered one of the best in the area so I put my health prospects ahead of my wishes for soft and fuzzy. (He is also warming up the more times I see him.) And Nancy is right, its your fiance's decision, just like its his life.

      over 4 years ago
    • SMT4's Avatar

      I was wondering if the doctor is for you or your fiancé. I have had doctors that are completely self absorbed because they are great at what they do. Unfortunately sometimes they also know they are the best at what they do so an ego is present in their bedside manner. As other contributors have stated bedside manner is not always a doctor’s forte because they are focused on healing the patient, conquering the disease. One doctor told me their job was to treat my illness, and a therapist could help with the psychological concerns of the disease. He had a point but could have said it better. At the end of the day some doctors won't be hand holders, but if you want the best of the best you may have to put up with the ego to get the better results. Also consider how much time you will really be spending with the doctor, if the amount of time you spend with them and their ego is more then you can take and you have time to look around, I say look around. The question though I always ask my self is do I need a friend or a physician in my treatment.
      That’s my opinion though it may not be right for others. Some people do need compassion and a little extra TLC when working with their physician. I just figure if the doctor is the best at what he does I'm not to concerned with his personality, just get the job done effectively.

      over 4 years ago
    • Thanks4Mayo's Avatar

      Assuming you both feel the same - absolutely! I was originally diagnosed by a very young, nervous ENT. He couldn't ID the source of the cancer. The last thing I needed at that point was any more uncertainty in my life, so I found a very experienced ENT iin another practice who immediately identified the source of the cancer, performed two complicated surgeries, and counseled me throughout the course of my ongoing treatment. Finding that new doc was the best thing I did.

      over 4 years ago
    • DeanaBeana's Avatar

      I think a person should feel comfortable with their doctor. If one is not comfortable they may hesitate to ask questions or ask for help if they have any problems. Which may not give you the attention you may need. If he feels the same then I'd change doctors for sure.

      over 4 years ago
    • ogtxaggiemom's Avatar

      First it is the patient's decision - but if he feels this way then he can ask to see the other doctor...it is your fiance's health which is more important then maybe hurting someone's feelings. There are alot of people in this world that we feel comfortable with and there are also a few that we don't...it happens to us all. This is a very important time in both of your lifes...do what makes him feel the best about himself and his health. We really liked my husband's radiation oncologist (he was young but had great bedside manners). At first we were not sure about his regular oncologist. We understood very early on that most patients with Esophageal Cancer do not live long and we let him know that we understood this. At first he was somewhat standoffish but as time passed he became more comfortable with us and now we have a great relationship with him. We know he is trying everything he can to give my husband the best medical care available and also he is honest with us about the future. We feel very blessed by the team of people who are working together to get us through this journey. Please remember that your doctor sometimes tries not like to get too attached to his patients.

      over 4 years ago
    • BLBragg's Avatar

      My husband's oncologist is very young and also very professional. He never once addressed me other than to acknowledge my presence in the room when we went for chemotherapy. When we wrote "Destination Cancer Free," he was the only one who did not want his "real name" used. Having to deal with a physician's personality can be frustrating, after all you are already under enough pressure and stress. I think you need to determine if your fiance is comforatble with him or not. And whether or not the doctor has a good success rate with treating this type of cancer. Then you and your fiance should make your decision. Being comfortable with your doctor is important.

      over 4 years ago

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