• Since I started fighting cancer 27 years ago I've lost count of the times people have said, "well, everything happens for a reason".

    Asked by GregP_WN on Friday, June 19, 2015

    Since I started fighting cancer 27 years ago I've lost count of the times people have said, "well, everything happens for a reason".

    Now this morning I heard someone on the morning news say this referring to the shooting at the church in Charleston. As far as I'm concerned, the only reason that happened is the kid wasn't raised right/was a jut job, or both. Your thoughts on the "everything happens for a reason"?

    63 Answers from the Community

    63 answers
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Sure there is a reason. As you said, the shooter had issues. I got cancer because some of my cells decided to go on strike -- that's a reason, right? No, Ghod did not give me cancer to test me or to punish me. Just like Ghod didn't place that shooter there to test the AME Church or the city of Charleston. Crap happens. There are "explanations" but not reasons in the sense of "everything happens for a reason". We take the bad things that happen and try to learn from them, but no...

      over 4 years ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar
      Jalemans

      Ugh! Ignorant people!

      over 4 years ago
    • banditwalker's Avatar
      banditwalker

      He definitly has mental issues, whether it is because of any parenting skills whos to know. But, I think I read that the parents had bought him the weapon. Don't take my word for that but I think that is what I read or heard. The only "reason" this may have happened seems like he had severe delusions/mental health problems. And I think I also heard/read that his roommate knew he had been talking about "wiping out" blacks. Someone must have known something, he looks like a kid so even if he was no longer living at home, someone must have heard him say or do something irrational. It's a total shame things like this go on every day and I am about over it. Sometimes I just think to myself if I should die tomorrow I will not have to hear about another murder, climate change, garbage in our oceans, people being mean/rude to each other, no one knows how to talk to one another any more. But to say something like "everything happens for a reason" makes it sound trivial and we should not address the real problems like mental health issues.

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Yes things happen for a reason.Nothing is coincidental.satan is roaring like a lion especially today,because he doesn't want anyone to worship God.God is in control and He will have the victory at the end.OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE.Signs of the times.Jesus is coming soon.Surrender before it's too late. <3

      The good that comes out of bad is that God is in control,He's bringing people together.And people are being saved.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      In my opinion, the phrase used in any context connotes there is nothing that can be done about this (insert subject here) and that there is some cosmic force at work. It's a way to either justify doing nothing about a solveable problem, or to console oneself that whatever you're going through defies reason and is out of your control, but has a greater purpose. I never use the phrase myself.

      over 4 years ago
    • gonewest's Avatar
      gonewest

      Yes, okay I apologize for the syntax confusion at the end of my post.

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      YHWH has reasons for allowing evil to exist that we simply cannot understand. If YHWH is real, and He is why has He allowed unspeakable atrocities to occur? And why will many, many more such events unfold over the next several years. I know it is very difficult to understand but His ways are above our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). As the Bible His Word says, the just shall live by faith (Habakkuk 2:4). YHWH gave Adam dominion over the world (Gen. 1:28). When he rebelled against YHWH, he set in motion an entire series of events that changed the very nature of man and creation which still exist today. People became evil steeped in Rebellion (Rom. 5:12; Eph. 2:3), they became haters of YHWH (Rom. 3:9-12). We still see it today. Yeshua said, "And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened" (Matt. 24:22). Many will talk about God and a good percentage go to some sort of church or worship service, by their worship it has not greatly affected their daily lives! Most do Not know Him and Most do Not keep His Commandments, His Laws or His Instructions. Whether We want to accept it or not He (YHWH) is proving His sovereignty over evil, suffering, and rebellious people, proving that He is the Only One in Control. YHWH is letting evil occur is so that on the day of judgment the condemned will have no right to say that their sentence is unjust. YHWH is not stopping people from exercising their free will they have the opportunity to believe His Word, His Commands and His Torah. It is their choice. Evil is destructive whether it is acted out or not. Hatred and bigotry in someone’s heart is wrong. If it is wrong and if YHWH is to stop all evil, then He must stop that person from thinking his own thoughts. To do that, YHWH must remove his freedom of thought. Furthermore, which person on the earth has not thought something evil?
      The Church Shooting by Dylann Roof Is PURE Evil. It is something that MOST cannot possibly understand. He went into that church and sat and listened to the Bible being taught. Did they who were teaching it have it all right. Probably NOT but He heard the word and an hour later did the unthinkable. Yahweh Gives Undeserved Love (Ps. 103:2-6) but he also gives those who do not Know His LOVE the Freedom to do things that are far beyond what we can comprehend.
      I Pray that that community can heal, I Pray that through this tragedy Many eyes will be Opened and come to know Yeshua our Messiah.

      over 4 years ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      "God"..... No matter if your's, mine, or their's, had absolutely nothing to do with the terrible murders at the Charleston church. Neither was it the fault of "Satan", for you who still believe in that sort of concept.
      It was simply the act of a mentally deranged, hate-filled XXX. A XXX who, according to one of his acquaintances, was never without a gun.

      over 4 years ago
    • TXHills' Avatar
      TXHills

      Things do happen for a reason, in that cause and effect do work in our world. But it's an over-simplification and sometimes a justification for allowing bad stuff to continue. He did it because he was taught to hate black people and saw them as both a threat and as less than equal human beings. This is part of our culture and has not been openly acknowledged and addressed.

      over 4 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      I always think of losing a job. Sometimes you didn't like the job, but needed the paycheck. It forces a person to find another job. Maybe the new job will pay more, be closer to home, be more enjoyable, etc.

      over 4 years ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar
      Jalemans

      I don't believe god gave me cancer. I believe that some cells in my body mutated & caused this. I do not believe god is punishing me either. I do believe in a higher being, but I do not believe that god causes everything to happen... If you find a dollar on the street, do you think god made that happen? I think that life happens and god is there, but allows life to happen. He may intervene on occasion, but he didn't arrange for those little school girls to be kidnapped in Africa. He didn't cause that college student to drown himself. He doesn't cause babies to be stillborn or arrange for serial killers. Sometimes bad things happen, it is just part of life. Death is also part of life.

      I don't want to offend anyone, but please don't tell me god gave me cancer & he has a reason for it or is punishing me. That is worse than telling me things happen for a reason!

      over 4 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      Ditto to @BuckeyeShelby, @Banditwalker, @gonewest, and @TXHills.
      I saw this cartoon earlier today -- very a propos to this discussion:
      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CH4Z-vWVAAA9oC5.jpg

      over 4 years ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I don't like that saying at all. What possible reason could there be for cancer? Besides making you worry, loose sleep, get pumped full of drugs and drain your bank accounts.
      And for the shooting at the church, there is no reason except a deranged kid who just hurt 9 families for the rest of their lives. How does a family recover from losing a family member just because they were at a bible study? It's a horrible situation and that kid should get the death penalty. And yes, I go to church every Sunday.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      As President Obama (and others) just said, ONE reason this can and does happen so often in this country is that we still aren't creating very tough gun control laws here. Every country had its mentally ill or sociopathic people, but only ours enables them to get guns so easily. Add that to racism or any other set of hate-filled, deeply embedded beliefs, the outcome can be deadly.

      over 4 years ago
    • rebelkate's Avatar
      rebelkate

      I personally hate that saying. Before the cancer I had a very strong faith, it was part of my every day life, active in church, etc. I fell for the everything happens for a reason, and had believed certain things happened for reasons, which had led up to me eventually meeting my husband who lived 1000 miles away. The chances of us meeting were so slim, but the way life had happened for both of us, this just reinforced that idea of everything for a reason, god's plan, etc.

      After the cancer changed everything, I started all the why questions with god. It was finally hearing that very statement from enough well meaning people that I finally realized there is no god, and no, everything does not happen as part of some master plan developed by some omnipotent omniscient being. My scientific training finally took over, and I realized molecules are molecules, and I had some cells that got mutated DNA. Period. That's it. There is no reason behind it. Sure - there was plenty of irony going on... as I was meeting a man and planning to have his children, I already carried around the mutated DNA that would make that impossible. But irony is not a "reason".

      In the case of things like the shooting, the reasons are multiple - gun control laws, inherent racism allowed to continue, and ideas of some crazy man. But there is no greater purpose or reason. And if there was, the very things people use that phrase for is enough reason to boycott whatever omniscient being was making these very stupid plans.

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      The only things we KNOW with certainty about God and his world are the things literally written in the Bible. Anything else we will have to learn when we get to Heaven. If it's not written in the Bible, it's just our own thought, and we must be careful we represent it as such if talking about it to others.

      The Bible says in Romans 8:28 (NIV):
      And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

      The above verse is pretty easy to understand, except we should remember that God's world for us includes our life on earth plus our eternal life in Heaven, so understanding that "God works for the good of those who love him," could be interpreted differently if we try to understand tragedies based only on our earthly life. In the big picture, our earthly life is very short, which makes me wonder if we give cancer too much importance, because it's just something we go through in our short earthly life.

      God never does evil, but He does watch our response to evil. The Bible says God will not forgive us if we do not forgive others. The family members of the dead churchgoers have already told the shooter that they forgive him, which was obedient to God and remarkable in its witness of faith, which God can use for good. Their forgiveness was pointed out on TV today several times, and could be used as an olive branch for peace and to prevent racial division from the shooting.

      Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean anybody wouldn't want him to be punished. However, it seemed the shooter looked sad and regretful during their kind comments, which was their goal.

      over 4 years ago
    • pgillespie's Avatar
      pgillespie

      When bad things happen to good people, I have found that most of us want to be helpful, but we don't know what to say. I learned many years ago that when that happens to me, I am better off giving someone a hug and not saying ANYTHING. Folks generally do not remember anything I said UNLESS I SAY SOMETHING STUPID. Then of course, they remember!

      That statement is one that I list as a "stupid" statement. Well meaning, we would like it be an "outta-be" true statement, but still stupid. The ramification of that statement is that a good, perfect and holy God would make bad, horrible, and sinful things happen. And that is totally inconsistent with who God is -- so, bad things happening to good people must not be a causation by God.

      Now don't get me wrong, when they diagnosed me with cancer, I did cry out to God, blame Him and simply pound the air with the unfairness of it all, but God didn't make my cancer happen or miraculously take it away. Cancer has not been a "gift," a "lesson," or a "blessing" for me, (people have all told me as well as several other "stupid" comments).

      So when someone makes a 'STUPID" statement to me today, I usually say something like this: "The American Cancer Society estimates that 1,660,290 people in the United States will be diagnosed with some type of cancer this year. This means that 41% of all children born today will be diagnosed with cancer some time in their lifetime, It seems we all have a lifetime risk of developing cancer. Research suggests that 1/3 of cancer deaths can be avoided through prevention. Screening for cervical and colorectal uncovers precancerous lesions. Mammograms also help find breast cancer at early, often highly treatable stages. Other prevention tips would be not using tobacco products, limiting alcohol use, avoiding excessive exposure to ultraviolet rays, eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, maintaining a healthy weight and being physically active. So was my cancer caused for a "reason, blessing, gift, journey" or so forth? Well, then consider my ability to educate you the "reason, blessing, gift, journey" or so forth. Because it appears I am not unique in my "reason, blessing, gift, or journey," or so forth, I just got here before you did."

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I used to try to think that there was a reason for things. Now I don't. I know the young man made up his own mind on what he wanted to do. Cancer-heart attacks---people with the healthiest life styles- young- have these problems. There isn't an answer, just suffering and grief.

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Strangely enough that has always been a comforting thought to me. It actually made me feel important and meaningful. I had always thought of cancer as "God taking notice of me" sort of a "blessing"
      But in this context I do not understand it. That being said that doesn't mean that there isn't lessons to be learned from this tragic event.
      My prayers go out to the people of Charleston.

      over 4 years ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      Everything has a reason makes me crazy! There is no reason why Cancer randomly victimizes people anymore than the crazy NC shooter killed people in a church. There is no reason.

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
    • junebug0121's Avatar
      junebug0121

      As for cancer.. twice and two kinds.. what IS the reason for that? As for the hate filled, bigoted, guy in SC... there is no mental illness there..and no "reason for this to have happened" except an evil person did what he did. Tell me why there is a "reason" this happened to the people.. please!

      over 4 years ago
    • Rolltidelynne's Avatar
      Rolltidelynne

      I think it's said when people don't know what else to say. It is a comforting statement to me, too. But honestly it is getting old now! Lol as for religious beliefs n us getting cancer...I think our lives are pretty much already in stone prior to us living our lives. I know sounds silly but...any way I believe I was going to get sick CUZ I was going to get sick...simple as that! It's not a punishment, it's not karma it just is what it is.. Now it's up to me how do I want to live this life w cancer?!?! I keep a positive outlook, I try to be a good friend to those who want or need one, and I choose to not let cancer take over my life!! I am a person with cancer, it does not have me!!

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Thank you PaulineJ for that link. I found It very interesting,

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      http://www.lwbc.co.uk/Genesis/The%20fallen%20world.htm#sthash.HuwIWO8g.dpuf

      The Fallen World

      Introduction
      We live in a fallen world. As a result of Adam's sin, the world has to contend with sickness, sorrow, evil and death. Everyone born into this world has the sin nature already in him or her. Therefore, nobody is born truly innocent and pure, but has the inbuilt desire to sin.

      The Serpent's Success
      Satan succeeded in getting Adam and Eve to disobey the simplest of God's commands. They ate the forbidden fruit and so broke fellowship with God. This is exactly what the Devil wanted, and he knew it would break God's heart. By looking at what took place in the garden we can find out how we respond when we sin. Read through Genesis 3:7-19.

      1. As soon as Adam and Eve sinned they had full realisation of their guilt. In an attempt to disguise their shame, they produced their own covering (atonement). They had bought into Satan's alternative spirituality but did not count on it being a big lie. They felt impure and filthy. They tried to cover over what they had done, but doing 'penance' does not wash with God.

      2. They knew that they could not stand in the presence of the holy God. They hid themselves from Him. They had broken their fellowship with God. They were now afraid of the God who loved them. This guilty feeling must have shocked Adam and Eve for this was the first time humanity experienced it. We have become experts at softening the effects of guilt.

      3. They just needed to confess, but it is the very thing they did not do. Adam blamed Eve and God; Eve said that the devil made her do it. The best way to cover ourselves is to blame someone else, or so we think. When God called out "Where are you?" He was giving Adam and Eve the opportunity to repent. The Holy Spirit is doing exactly the same in our lives too. All we need to do is confess (1 John 1:9).

      4. Unconfessed sin must be judged. What would have happened if they had confessed? God must have been ready for such an eventuality. The devil's scheme would have been completely destroyed and we would not have the fallen world experiences we know today.

      The Results
      Everything in the world went through an immediate change. The blessings were replaced with the curse. Life was replaced with sickness and death. Instead of fertile soil there was barrenness and thorns. Childbirth would mean intense pain for the woman, but she would desire to do it all over again! In the garden Adam and Eve were equal partners, but now she would have to submit to her husband. Just existing would be hard work, and they would have to work until they died to live. Then, even though the devil promised them eternal life, they would die and return to the dust.
      Romans 8:20-22 is a good commentary on the fact that same thing is in effect today … "For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now." The whole world, man, animal and plant life, is in a state of decay and rottenness. It is a big change from the "Very good" world created by God. We all know that things are not getting any better. Only God has the remedy, but almost the entire world continues to hide behind self-righteousness, religion, and a stubborn refusal to repent.

      The Condition of the Repentant
      Those who repent and turn to Christ for salvation, though living in a fallen world, have the promise of eternal life. Paul, in Ephesians 2:1-3, explains that we have been set free from the curse and the power of Satan … "And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins: Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others." We have been given the strength to resist temptation and sin (the desire to fulfil the desires of the flesh and the mind). We are no longer under the death sentence. Those who will not repent are spiritually dead and have the wrath of God upon them. They are controlled by the same power than deceived Adam and Eve, but God can save them too!

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+103

      Psalm 103 New King James Version (NKJV)

      Praise for the Lord’s Mercies
      A Psalm of David.

      103 Bless the Lord, O my soul;
      And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
      2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
      And forget not all His benefits:
      3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
      Who heals all your diseases,
      4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
      Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
      5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
      So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
      6 The Lord executes righteousness
      And justice for all who are oppressed.
      7 He made known His ways to Moses,
      His acts to the children of Israel.
      8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
      Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
      9 He will not always strive with us,
      Nor will He keep His anger forever.
      10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
      Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
      11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
      So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
      12 As far as the east is from the west,
      So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
      13 As a father pities his children,
      So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
      14 For He knows our frame;
      He remembers that we are dust.
      15 As for man, his days are like grass;
      As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
      16 For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
      And its place remembers it no more.[a]
      17 But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
      On those who fear Him,
      And His righteousness to children’s children,
      18 To such as keep His covenant,
      And to those who remember His commandments to do them.
      19 The Lord has established His throne in heaven,
      And His kingdom rules over all.
      20 Bless the Lord, you His angels,
      Who excel in strength, who do His word,
      Heeding the voice of His word.
      21 Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
      You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.
      22 Bless the Lord, all His works,
      In all places of His dominion.
      Bless the Lord, O my soul!

      over 4 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      You now the Book of Revelation is a symbolic book and not a book to be taken literally. That book speaks about how things will wax worse and worse and just when you think you have heard the worst some ever more evil happens. Right now the devil is loosed and humanity is the sea of sin. I don't expect things to get better any time soon. I think it will get worse. You wonder how much more it can get worse, but no one knows the answer to that. It will show up in the news when it happens. IF his parents did buy him that gun, then they should be held just as responsible. They probably knew something wasn't right with their son at some point and time in his life. They had to. My husband read the signs of my son's behavior as teenager and knew something was wrong. He sat down and had a long talk with him and it came out that he remembered being molested by his biological father and the anger was showing up because of it. We got him into canceling right away. Between that and our love and the way we handled it he turned out to be a great kid. So yes, the parents are to be held responsible as well. That is what I believe.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      If the kid didn't get his hands on a gun, he'd use a bomb like the boys in Boston- and the KKK in Alabama back in the 1950s, before there were background checks, computers to keep records of fingerprints, etc.

      That young man probably wouldn't try that here. About 3 years ago, an evil young man charged a priest and stabbed him to death at the altar with a sharpened crucifix, then he went after the person trying to stop the attack. Nobody else was injured except for the attacker that was filled with bullet holes.

      I want all of you to notice that it was a revolver, where the shooter had to stop and empty his cylinder and load up again, not any type of automatic, semi-automatic, or pump gun- not a pressure cooker like in Boston, not a truck bomb used in Oklahoma City, not a bomb used in Alabama that killed those 6 darling little girls. I feel very sorry for the deaths, the abject fear and terror that everyone in that church felt and will continue to feel. The survivors will live with that for the rest of their lives. The families will have little children ask why did Grandma have to die. People are asking why their child-brother-sister-friend have to die.

      over 4 years ago
    • Kathy1's Avatar
      Kathy1

      All I know is we are not born and knowing what hate and bigotry is. That is learned. There are those of us who reject it. I don't think anyone has been immune to hearing or seeing acts of bigotry. I think those who have emotional or mental issues can be more responsive too!!! Thing don't just happen and if we accept that they do we will never see things change. People will just walk away and feel helpless. I don't like to feel helpless and quit...I believe in fighting. Whether its to get thru the next treatment or values I truly believe in.

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      I take everything in the BIBLE seriously.And Revelation is serious about the signs of the times and End days.

      over 4 years ago
    • ardelleg's Avatar
      ardelleg

      When people say that I assume they really don't know what else to say.... most of the time when people say things that might annoy me I try to remember that most of the time they aren't trying to be annoying, they are usually at a loss about what to say.

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Have you all noticed that although the shooter's friends or acquaintances have been quoted, the parents haven't commented? Unfortunately the shooter's parents may be the people who put the crazy ideas in his head, since his friends have said they don't agree with him. The parents also may be afraid of getting into legal trouble because they knew he had the gun and even that he was going to do something with it.

      We already have laws preventing people from having guns who are mentally ill or have a drug problem, and he has an arrest for drugs on his record, but he may have bought the gun from an individual.

      Laws already on the books need to be ENFORCED. Studies show the more good people who carry guns legally, the less crime we have---because the bad people know they can't prey on them.

      over 4 years ago
    • goodbyegirls' Avatar
      goodbyegirls

      "Everything happens for a reason" is our human mind trying to make sense of a universe that we don't control. Someone who says that to a cancer patient is trying to say that there is no reason for me to get cancer, so I'm safe. Acceptance of the fact that I can't control everything, but should make the effort to control what I can, may be difficult, but has helped me find some peace after years of cancer recurrence that has now metastasized.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      The shooter could have snuck it out from somebody. We are so mad at our judges. This week we had 2 men in court for killing police officers. They were out on bond or probation-each one had over a dozen arrests for drugs, armed robbery, beating people up, rape, threatening to kill police. Each time-the police begged the DA to put them away for as long as possible. The jury found one guilty- and wanted him put away for the max. The judge put him on probation and going to drug counseling. 10 days ago, we buried an Air Force veteran who left a wife and 5 children. He stopped a sloppy driver, and he was shot in the head. Over a thousand people attended the funeral. The police in my city caught him, but he put another officer in the hospital during the wild west type of arrest.

      Then a police murderer returned from Calif. His parents turned him in. He thought that nobody would be looking for him-when you murder several people and a police officer-we don't stop looking. That man was sentenced to 6 months for stealing a car, his lawyer appealed, so he was out in a few weeks- and he killed 2 people and an officer. Do you know what the head judges said-- Judges must have the freedom to do their work without being questioned- That was announced last night.

      A whistle blower told the news that NM DAs have a guide sheet-to help figure out the danger factor of a criminal- how many times arrested, how many DWIs, robberies, armed robberies. We were appalled, because many violent assaults or death threats against police officers are only 1 point----public drunkenness has more points than that. The media demanded this- and I saw the point sheet. Then some of you wonder why I have coonhounds and guns, and people take their concealed guns to church.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I forgot, we've had every religion attacked here. Buddhist temples, catholic cathedrals, small baptists, our mosque was fire bombed, ay- the synagogues have always been a target. Mormons- and it's usually outsiders that pass through and say- lets shoot a Baptist or Mormon cowboy coming out of their church- the judges--they don't care-

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      I don't have a religion.I have a relationship with GOD.That's what Jesus and the Father wants.Not a religion.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Okay- the symbol of every type of faith has been attacked here. There's a lot to be said by meeting with others that hold the same basic relationship with their god or being, where they can pray with each other, learn from each other, and have others care about you, because you are their spiritual brother or sister, besides you are a human being.

      over 4 years ago
    • Gma's Avatar
      Gma

      In reference to cancer and illness, I always think that people who use that phrase have not really experienced it themselves. It is such an easy phrase to use if you are not a part of the journey!

      I can't imagine someone using that phrase in reference to the Charleston murders. That young man is just evil and you have to put the blame right on his shoulders. No one made him do it. It was his choice. As a South Carolinian, I am heartbroken for the families of the victims. My prayers are with all of them!

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Although that phrase is a stupid phrase, I think they would have to mean that everything can be USED FOR A GREATER PURPOSE, i.e., our response to cancer can be to become more appreciative of our families and lives, and more compassionate and understanding of others who have challenges. Remember cancer is just a "bump in the road" of our lives, and everyone experiences some type of "bump in the road."

      The families in Charleston are USING THEIR TRAGEDY to show everyone watching the power of Christian forgiveness and love. Hopefully it will soften hardened hearts to God's message of love, and renew the hope of Believers. Our country has evil people trying to divide us against each other, and we need to be wise enough to recognize their rhetoric as EVIL and steer our country back towards God and love for each other.

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Barbara you are so right. I am astonished at the love I have seen from the families in Charleston. We prayed for them in Church this morning.
      There three things I must believe in 1 God 2. Everything had a reason 3. Everything has a cause.
      Without those three beliefs I am just a random bunch of hydrocarbon molecules without a purpose. To see myself in that light would be devastating

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      BoiseB, oddly, I have none of those beliefs, and I'm not devastated. Maybe because I live in BROOKLYAYN!

      over 4 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Carool I suppose our beliefs may be shaped by our environment. I did once venture across the Mississippi to Chicago. We lived an apartment half way up the tower on the 22nd floor. I am terrified of tall buildings. When I went to college in Salt Lake I worked at a branch of the City Library. I had to go from school to the branch; the transfer point was at the ZCMI the tallest building in Salt Lake. During the five minute wait for transfer I freaked out. You can imagine what my life was like in the towers of Chicago I shoved a dresser against the window in the bedroom and did not go within 3 feed of the front room windows. I lasted only 9 months then I fled back to the land of tall mountains and small towers, So the lands to the East remain a mystery to me but I love to here about their beliefs and customs.

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      BoiseB, I'm extremely afraid of heights, too, but Chicago and New York City are big cities and different from the rest of the country east of the Mississippi! You should check out the rest of the country (east of the Miss.), which is mostly mountainous with lots of trees. :)

      over 4 years ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      "You should check out the rest of the country (east of the Miss.), which is mostly mountainous with lots of trees. :)"

      It is?
      The Midwest, (which is east of the MIss.) is mainly flat with only rolling hills in some parts and the South has the same topography. The only Eastern mountains are of course the Allegeny(sp?) Mountains and several mountain ranges in New England.

      over 4 years ago
    • snuzsuz's Avatar
      snuzsuz

      God gave us all a free will to do and think what we want. He takes the consequences of our free will and weaves it into something good somewhere down the road. When we pray, he hears us, and will answer our prayers, not always in the way we thought or hoped He would, but in His way, which we may or may not understand. Look at all the bad things that have happened to you in your life, and then follow the path after that, that lead to something good, or someone good, days, weeks, or even years later. I smoked for 50 years and because of that, I got lung cancer. God gave me a free will to choose to smoke or not, and I chose to smoke, and the consequence of that, was cancer. He has woven that into something good. The closeness of my sisters and brothers, and my children. The cancer has brought us closer together and we love more now that we have had to think about death up close and personal. People in my life that I thought of as friends, have faded away. Those were the 'friends' that were more like 'users' of my friendship, the true friends have stayed and our friendship is even better than before. I love deeper and appreciate those in my life now and have changed so much of my life for the better. I truly believe, God does not interfere in our lives unless we call Him, and when we do, He will answer our prayers, in His way, in His own time, and if we are patient,and look for the good in life, we will see where He has eventually brought us to a better place. I hope this makes sense. It's hard to put into words what I am trying to say.

      over 4 years ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      "You should check out the rest of the country (east of the Miss.), which is mostly mountainous with lots of trees. :)"
      Sorry, I forgot there is another smaller mountain range-- The Ozark Mountains in Akansas
      We have gotten off subject matter here! LOL

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      In Georgia, I lived in small hills-ridges-mostly flat and just enough dips on the road to be dangerous---mostly rivers and swamps.-miles of swamps- flat cotton and tobacco fields. We often went fishing in Carolina swamps. Lots of good bass and sunfish. I was wearing denim and my arm hurt-I looked down and a big black and silver mosquito was drilling right through the denim. On the East South and mid south you have the south Appalachians, the Smokey mtn and the Blue ridge. In North east Georgia you have nice cool mountains- and I mean mountains---- I live in the Rockies-over a mile high- so I do know what mountains are. Minnesota, Illinois, and Indiana are flat like Iowa and Nebraska.which are in the Great Plains.

      over 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      I totally hate that phrase. S* happens. Some of it can be prevented or delayed to an extent, but much of it is random. Yes my 4 diagnoses and treatment changed me, yes a lot of it was for the better. But i don't think I got cancer to improve my character. I know it's the eternal question of why things happen, especially "bad" things to people. We try to find reasons. but sometimes there are no reasons. We can only control how we chose to react and move forward.

      over 4 years ago
    • Rolltidelynne's Avatar
      Rolltidelynne

      SueRae - exactly:)

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      BoiseB, I, too, am afraid of heights, though not being in a high building (being more than one rung up on a ladder, etc.). That fear doesn't stop me from loving big cities (my city, specifically). In fact, I am afraid of being in suburban or rural environments (as I say way too often: "Even Central Park is too rural for me"). Yes, when I made that comment I was, of course, referring to my environment, but mainly I was being saucy! As long as no one here can see this aging woman being saucy, I will continue to try to be so, once in a while.

      over 4 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Hi Carool & Meyati too,
      I am afraid of urban environments. The thought of all that concrete & huge buildings & hordes of
      people would about do me in! I have visited New York City & enjoyed all the amazing food places & shops, but living there would freak me out.
      Carool, I think, would freak out if she visited the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, hundreds of blue lakes, miles of unpenetrable forests & swamps full of bears & varmits. No people around, no traffic, few roads. A heavenly place except for black flies & as Meyati noted-- huge mosquitoes, better known as "Swamp Angels"!
      Stay saucy!

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Molly72, LOL! I'll do my best! I would freak out if I had to live there, but going there (if I could teleport myself so there'd be no need for a plane) for a week or so might not be so bad. My partner and I went for a week to the Adirondacks, many, many years ago, and I found it startlingly beautiful and majestic - prettier, I thought, than anyplace in Europe (not that I've seen every place there). Unfortunately, neither he nor I can drive, so we had a hard time getting around while we were there.

      Now that I've reread your post about the critters abounding in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, I agree that it's not for me! I like my bears on YouTube only; same with varmits! I'll take my squirrels, pigeons and other small birds, rats and mice, and - yech - roaches over animals with big teeth. Not that I have roaches at home!

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Molly72, apparently we both mispoke and need to learn U.S. geography! I should have Googled exactly where the Mississippi River flowed up north, and you should Google all the mountains (with trees) we have in the Southeast! :)

      All cities don't have the tall buildings and so many people as New York City has. I invite you to travel to Nashville, Tennessee, or Birmingham, Alabama, for a smaller feel where you might be more comfortable---medium sized cities with good restaurants and shopping, and very few tall buildings---in fact, no skyscrapers.

      I would be afraid to live in a rural area, because no one could hear me call out for help . . .I would feel like a sitting duck. My Girl Scout training taught me to "Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best," and I don't know how you can prepare in a deserted area.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      People in rural areas are usually more aware of what's going on than they do in cities. At least it used to be that way. Now you get city people going out and taking their city ways. I bought some material to make my daughter a dress in Goliad, TX. I was going home, and decided to visit a neighbor about 10 miles down the road. The first thing she said was, "Can you wait a few weeks before you make your daughter's dress? I bought that same material a month ago, and I want Rhonda to have a chance to wear her dress first." No problem. My auntie and grandma decided to visit us in the Limestone Mountains out of Wilcox, AZ. I wrote them to call the school and ask to talk to the high school principal or call my kids into the office, and we can visit. They went to the motel manager about this, and the manager told them the principal shoed my horses, and was a family friend.

      Y'all probably don't know what Goat Heads are. They are lacy green ground cover with pretty yellow dainty flowers that turn into hard balls with 2 rose like thorns that can go through flipflops wheelbarrow and bicycle tires. My husband was on graveyard shift, so he got home almost 2 AM, and he said, "I got a new bicycle pump and a can off goathead filler to stop flat tires and more patches. We were very quiet. There was polite knocking on the door about 6 AM. Joey was there, the boy that lived across the street. Joey asked if he could use the new bicycle air pump. By 9 AM, it looked like a rural ER- fixing bicycles, basket balls, wheel barrows, etc.

      over 4 years ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Barbarain-meyati-Carool
      This is an interesting discussion about all our individual environments, rural & urban.

      You needn't be afraid about rural life, why would you need to call out for help? Unless you fell in a patch of poison ivy or had a bear chase you! Fewer people problems, most rural folks are neighborly & help each other as meyati notes.
      In large cities such as Detroit, there are terrible murders & shootings & other crimes every single day.
      Yesterday there was a large block birthday party in a rough Detroit neighborhood, 12 people were shot, 1 died & not one person there would help the police find the thugs. Wow!
      That's the main reason I would be afraid to live in a large city- the people!

      Country folks smile at each other & talk & would go out of their way to give you the time of day, to feed you or change your flat tire.
      Of course there are some mean country people, but mostly they are decent & helpful. And not all city folks are rude & in a hurry nor do they shoot & rob you. There are good & bad people all over.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Molly72, Meyati, BarbarainBham, and all, yes, Detroit is very dangerous, and I hope that the city and its people will get the government (and other) help needed to restore the city. However, New Yprk is not Detroit. I like its liberal politics and people (except for Staten Island, which is pretty conservative and has long wanted to become part of New Jersey, or something). I like the crazy mix of races, ethnic groups, majority or minority religions - or no-religion-at-alls - straights, gays, transgenders, creatives....You get the idea. I fit right in with all the other misfits. Unfortunately, NY is being overtaken by the ultra-rich, and I don't fit in at all with them.

      I don't mean to sound smug. I own up to being provincial. I was born here, in Brooklyn, and another place on Earth feels...not like home. But I do get how there are many other homey places to live in. Best, Carool

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Yes, there are good and bad people everywhere. I hate for you to judge all cities by Detroit's extreme crime and NYC's skyscrapers. You would definitely be surprised to see how different the terrain east of the Mississippi River looks in the South (not flat). AND our Gulf beaches with white sand are gorgeous!!

      I don't dislike country PEOPLE---I'm afraid of deserted AREAS. People disappear in the woods, bodies are found, and I always feel sad that no one was there to help them.

      In the South, both country and city folks smile at each other and will change your flat tire! It's fun to live here. Everybody, come on down!

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Carool-you'd like NM. We have had Sikh temples since WW II, synagogues, Thai-Cambodian, Tibetan, and Vietnamese Buddhist temples. The VN have some fussing about who left VN with the Marines, and those that became boat people years later. I have friends in both communities. Those that became boat people were often rounded up by the communists and re-educated. Their families waited for their family members to be released. Some were. Also the boat people weren't rich or connected most of the time. This has been a destination for Syrians, Arabs, Iranians, Turks, Tibetans, now West Africans. We also have Basques, French, Irish, germans, Austrians, Jews, lots of Chinese. It's just spread out. After WWI, all sorts of Balkans and Middle Eastern people decided that New Mexico was the place to be.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Meyati, I would like NM! To visit, anyway. I do need to keep my small sky and big buildings around my shoulders in order to feel safe. But New Mexico sounds like my kind of place. Too bad it's not reachable by subway.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I couldn't see the sky in Sevilla. I'd look for a cathedral spite, crane building a sky scraper, or a skyscraper and know which way to head for where I wanted to go. I never saw the sun rise or set. I didn't know north from south, east from west. The streets were very narrow-only extremely small cars could drive- el trucka de los bomberos looked like Tonka toy fire trucks. The police were mostly on foot or horseback, and tiny moto-motorcycles built for the medieval streets from Norway to Sicily. I loved it, and if the Euro wasn't stronger than the US dollar, I would have tried harder to move there.

      over 4 years ago
    • Rolltidelynne's Avatar
      Rolltidelynne

      I have so many mixed feelings about that phrase:( I use to say it now I think bout it!?!?! Lol

      over 4 years ago

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