• Support for facing the inevitable

    Asked by ElizaM on Monday, November 2, 2015

    Support for facing the inevitable

    I have run out of options. Nothing more oncologist can offer other than the possibility of a clinical trial. I have been so diligent about alternative supportive measures but am now SO discouraged since my last scan shows more growths and enlargements. I need someone to bemoan my state of mind with. Like those of us who have family members who just (thankfully) can't understand what we are going through, this is such a lonely road. I am trying to stay positive but finding it virtually impossible in light of these results today. Does anyone out there have resources of support counselling or therapy they can recommend, other than prayer and meditation which, once again, are solitary activities.

    28 Answers from the Community

    28 answers
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Are you in pain?
      IF So call in Hospice.
      If Not what alternative things were you trying?
      Only another cancer patient can understand and emphasize.
      A Support group ?
      A Doc who has cancer?
      You are where most of us will ultimately wind up and it IS Scary.
      Every single Person and animal and plant will die SO you DO have a lot of company.
      People are dying everyday from so many different things....
      It is a Solitary thing we all go through and nobody has any practice for it....no dress rehearsal.
      It will take us when it's ready but we don't know when or how long. Why not just live your life like you are well because today you are well....
      Wish I had some great advice but sadly I don't.

      about 3 years ago
    • Maddy61's Avatar
      Maddy61

      ElizaM - I'm so sorry you got discouraging news from your last scans. I try not to look at the calendar but I get nervous before my appointments. While I am optimistic, I'm also realistic. Everyone is different and have their own points of view.

      When the time comes that my treatment isn't working, my hubby and I have a game plan. I'm going for one clinical trial. Many people have very good results with them. Afterwards, I will go to hospice. Some people fight and fight and fight. I have had everything they could give me at this time (tandem stem cell transplant with 4 rounds of chemo prior) so I feel I've done a lot. Nothing is written in stone but this is the plan.

      I am on an anti-depressant that has been very helpful - Brintellix. It is a combo drug that hits all the neuro receptors. I go to therapy once a week. Some people go to groups. You are in Portland which is not exactly a backwater town of a few hundred. I would check with the hospital you've been going to and see if there are groups, social workers and explore whatever resources they would suggest. I have found nurses to be very helpful with a lot of information.

      I hope you some of this is helpful. Prayers and best wishes.

      about 3 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      ElizaM..I am sorry you are in theis place and feel so alone.. Please do try a clinical trial..do as many as you can because we are so close to finding a cure. First it could help you and second it could help someone else down the road.
      Alternative treatments have never ever cured anyone's cancer but traditional treatments have.
      Please reach out to the head Dr's in charge of cancer care at your facility and get a plan in place. Clinical trials and support.

      about 3 years ago
    • ElizaM's Avatar
      ElizaM

      I thank each of you for your encouraging and supportive comments. I am indeed going for a liver biopsy this Friday to see if I qualify for any of the 10 possible clinical trials available. I don't hold much faith in the western medicine route although I am obviously grateful I am still here. My treatments have been devastating when I consider that I have not had any symptoms whatsoever from the cancer itself. I actually know of several folks who have staved away from the end of the road for many years using only alternative medicine protocols and there is a ton of supportive evidence that gets tossed aside and poo-hooed by western medicine advocates. Considering cancer research has come up with many cures they have never reached the marketplace due to the pharmaceutical companies shutting them down through their power in government. I can't put my hope and faith in the Monsantos of this world who see us suffer and die to make a profit, as with the pharm. companies. It's all a huge scam at our expense. I have all my ducks in a row for the end phase, and have talked with the hospice social worker who may have some support group I can be included in - will have to check that out. I do not have any symptoms so do not require the hospice nurse at this point although I am clued in as to how they operate in Oregon. I worked in hospice home health care for over a decade in California so there isn't much I don't know about the end of life issues, and I feel I've seen it all. I know the medical profession knows nothing about predicting when the end will be since none of them have had it right in my experience - there is so much more involved in the soul's wanting to survive or not.
      Thanks again, dear ones, for taking the time to think about my issue and responding to me. I do appreciate it, and wish you all blessings and peace on your own journeys.

      about 3 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Maybe having the Oncologists tell you they have nothing else is a Blessing in Disguise.
      Maybe now you can get well. Go all Vegan if you are not already and take high doses of some anti cancer supplements and LIVE YOUR LIFE. There is no tomorrow all we have is right now....That is the gift of cancer among it's many horrors.

      about 3 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      ElizaM, I also want to encourage you to try a clinical trial. At least in my case, I got into a trial when there were really no other options open to me. I was put on immunotherapy. It has kept me alive and very well for the last two years. It didn't make me sick - it just gave me back my life. So... since I had such a positive response, I really encourage others to try this route.

      I don't know what to recommend other than a clinical trial. I pray that there is something more to try.

      about 3 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Sorry - I just read that you ARE going to try a clinical trial. I pray that it will be a good match for you as mine has been for me.

      about 3 years ago
    • zubsha's Avatar
      zubsha

      I am sorry you have to go through this. I found it helpful to try and think of the people I wouldn't trade problems with - people with children who have died or are suffering, people living in war torn areas, people with Ebola etc. it helped me to realize that I could manage to stay positive through this. At the end of the day miracles do happen and clinical trials become the next cure. You aren't out of options until they call the undertaker. Someday your clinical trial will win a Nobel prize! Believe it - you have to believe it!

      about 3 years ago
    • azsuper's Avatar
      azsuper

      Hi ElizaM,

      I think everyone with cancer face the inevitable but they dont loos hope or stop fighting. Don't you give up! Stay strong and keep fighting! Don't loos hope. You just never know now a days what they can do.

      Have you called your local American Cancer Society to find a group or person to meet and talk with? They also have a 1-800-# which is[phone number redacted].

      Have you thought about getting a second option? It does not hurt to get it. Can I suggest you call and go to M.D. Anderson in Houston, Texas. They are the best in the world! There toll free number is[phone number redacted].

      Well you stay strong hang in there don't give up or loos hope. And smile.

      And remember all of here at What Next are here to help you and be there for you to.

      about 3 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      As long as one is alive, there are always options. If your doctor is out of ideas, find a new doctor with more imagination. There is nothing inherently wrong with a clinical trial. Ot cant hurt you at all to look for one which suits you.

      In the meanwhile, look into other things which science also studies. Check out black seed oil (wildcrafted nigella sativa) which, in peer reviewed studies, shrinks tumors. It may not be your cure but it will, perhaps, buy you some time. The same can be said for Chaga mushroom extract. As you research and visit to find out more and more from more and more people, you will make new friends who, like you, have been or are in distress. Investigate dietary changes, activity changes, the power of mindful thinking and the importance of living fully in the present moment.

      Most importantly, surround yourself with a medical team which doesnt run out of options. If money is an obstacle to get to good care, check out "angel flights" which is a group of volunteer pilots who can help you to get where you need to go.

      about 3 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      P. S. Now that I have read your words, I want to know if you are on a raw & living foods diet? Closest to you to get physical instruction is a place in San Diego called "Optimum Wellness". There may be a smaller institute of alternative healing much closer to you but it will be smaller and with less history to it. Make some calls and see what happens.

      It would also be good for you to look up "graviola". It is a medicial fruit which requires a fairly complicated protocol. I have noticed, lately, that WFs has begun to carry it (soursop) at a fairly steep price.
      There are other ways to obtain it. Again, it is of little use without the specific protocol.

      There are also certainly other ways. Are you really looking, both online & offline? Please do not allow one group of dull and narrow thinking physicians to ruin your days. Best wishes.

      about 3 years ago
    • kj7lo's Avatar
      kj7lo

      I took the road less traveled and used a naturalpath oncologist along with my chemo treatments. I had advanced stage four colon cancer with large tumors on my liver. With the two protocals, all of the tumors were gone is about 7 months. I have seen people come to my naturalpath after they have tried everything and seen what I could only call a miracle. It's never too late to see a naturalpath. I wish you the best.

      about 3 years ago
    • kj7lo's Avatar
      kj7lo

      I want to add that not everyone responds to any protocol, whether it be a medical protocol or alternative medicine protocol. There are no guarantees. We need to keep hope and that is one thing it may offer.

      about 3 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      ElizaM, you are right, this is a lonely road to travel. I have tons of great support surrounding me, but at day's end, I am the one on the battlefield. I have thought about the " what if ". Right now, I am in remission, but very high percentage of recurrance down the road. I am open to all options and weapons to fight this xxx disease, ones found in nature and those fashioned by man. Think you are right in trying a clinical trial. I feel we are on the cusp of new discoveries in immunotherapy and targeting specific types of cancer through genetic markers, You are having a down day well deserved. There are many support groups out there, reach out for more online or community groups. Talk more to the people on this site, we get it. Take care and sending a hug.

      about 3 years ago
    • ElizaM's Avatar
      ElizaM

      Your responses bring me to tears. I am so touched that so many of you are willing to share your experiences and suggestions. I think this is part of the isolation I was talking about - to have others who DO understand means so much to me - thank you all. Just FYI I work with 2 different Naturopaths and take a bunch of Chinese herbs. I'm trying to believe that my scan would have been much worse had I not been following all these alternative protocols along with huge doses of Essiac tea and my cannabis capsules. I am usually such a positive person and it is sobering to find myself succumbing to the depression that comes with the lousy slap in the face reality of nasty scan results. This doesn't feel like me and who I am. I am so very grateful to you all - thank you and many blessings to you all.

      about 3 years ago
    • kj7lo's Avatar
      kj7lo

      ElizaM, I have always been the most positive person, but there have been times when pain, neuropathy, tons of trips to the bathroom, and no one to talk to that completely understands what I am experiencing has got me down. My wife is incredible in taking care of me but there are times when she can't understand what I am going through. I just try my best to be that positive person I have always been. There is really no other option. Your mental attitude is a good portion of your immune system, which you know is what rids you of cancer. Keep the faith.

      about 3 years ago
    • joyce1979's Avatar
      joyce1979

      I am sorry about your prognosis. Just know that it isn't over until it is over. Check out John of God's website. He is a spiritualist healer in Brazil and has a very good success rate. He has been on Oprah and is world known. He isn't a money grabber or in it for financial gain. Read some of the books about him, so you can see if you want to pursue this. My neighbor went to see him two years ago and it was just as it is shown on the website (nothing hidden, everyone open to God's work.). Those there for treatment form a community and have lots of support. God bless you. This is an idea for you to take or leave, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to mention this to you. Love to you.

      about 3 years ago
    • kj7lo's Avatar
      kj7lo

      ElizaM, thetruthaboutcancer.com has a lot of good information, especially nutrition.

      about 3 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      Try the clinical trials. Even if it doesn't benefit you, they will learn something from it, so you will help others. I had a friend who did trials for many years because she had an obscure type of cancer that didn't have a lot of treatment options available for her. Her latest episode was that the tumor was producing insulin, which put her into a diabetic coma. They were able to revive her and she received radiation treatment and put this problem into check. She was the first patient the hospital had been successful in treating for this complication. So, she helped them learn something that may eventually help you or someone else. I hope you find some support maybe through your hospital or ACS support groups.

      about 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      I will pray for a clinical trial for you. I saw a discussion on YouTube about a targeted therapy for colon cancer that they are developing in the UK.

      about 3 years ago
    • CASSIEME1's Avatar
      CASSIEME1

      TRY THE CLINICAL MY S/O HAD LUNG CANCER, WENT THE CLINICAL TRIAL ROUTE. THAT WAS 6 YEARS AGO. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 3 YEARS HE HAS BEEN BY MY SIDE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. HOPING EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOU

      about 3 years ago
    • NanaL's Avatar
      NanaL

      Eliza, I'm keeping you in close thoughts and prayers. We all know how you feel and I want to thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings. Try to do something that will make you laugh, perhaps take in a comedic movie, go to a comedy club or listen to some good old rock and roll music! Please keep fighting. I pray a good outcome with a clinical trial or some other path of treatment works for you. Hugs!!

      about 3 years ago
    • Rolltidelynne's Avatar
      Rolltidelynne

      Eliza, I am currently in remission but I know there will be a day that my options of management treatment will end. I am trying to ready myself w that knowledge BUT it's a scary thought. I'm on vacay right now n am planning to meet w my old reverand today to set up burial plans for when the time comes. I don't want my children to have to "think" much:(( I'm sad n nervous knowing I'm having this convo, but it NEEDS to be done, I can't keep ignoring it:(
      My only advice is to remember we do not have an expiration date written on our bodies!! No one knows when our time will come except God:) in the meantime depending on your pain level, of course, try to stay busy n involved in life:)) quiet time to think is important HOWEVER too much solitary time will hurt more than help!! When you feel yourself getting low go to the store, call a friend n go to get coffee or a movie! Go see family or friends for a short vacay!
      I will try to stay in contact w you n be available to chat if you ever need a shoulder... I can be there to run thoughts by, you can scream n yell, I won't mind at all:)) all of us will go through this at some point - we need to stick together n help each other to navigate this unknown part of our realities!! Good luck w the trials n remember you're not alone - we are HERE for YOU!! ((( hugs)))

      about 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      For me cancer was only a reminder that death is inevitable for everyone, Since I have passed two expiration dates. I say God has granted me an eleventh inning. I try each day to be a better person. However I do wish that I had had that awareness when I was younger.

      about 3 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I also went and pre paid on a cremation deal. That was a real wake up call...lol
      To tell you the truth they can do whatever they want from my dead cancer riddled body as I'll be off to never never land with all new parts.

      about 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Eliza M. Prayer is not a solitary activity. I truly believe that I am here today because of the prayers of others. When I got my second cancer, I called my daughter and asked her to go knock on the door of the pastors of the five churches that were in her neighborhood and ask for prayers from their prayer groups as well as her own congregation. I fully believe that I have received a miracle. I also believe that those prayers would have given me peace, if I were to complete the living process at that time.

      about 3 years ago
    • ElizaM's Avatar
      ElizaM

      I believe in the power of prayer also. I have put in a request with Unity online, and have so many others around me praying. I appreciate it all and know it has contributed to my still being here and the positive attitude I have been able to hang on to for these past 4 years.
      I too have all my ducks in a row. Will be having a "home funeral" which fits with my belief systems much better than the instant whisking away, since I truly believe the soul needs to be close to the body to release for 3 days after the initial departure. I have my chapel and crematorium picked out and will finalize the details this weekend when I can take my daughter to see what I've arranged. I've had discussions with my priest, and know my daughters will be supported during this whole process. It's good to get everything sorted out and it brings a sense of peace and completion, but it doesn't do much for the inner loneliness I am thinking we all have to endure. In many ways I can hardly wait to be in Christ's presence on the other side and I do get comfort from feeling supported spiritually. I study with a friend every evening, especially the Gospel of St. John which truly tells it the way it was/is, how super-sensibly aware folks were back then so understood everything that was said and that happened in a much clearer way than we can today with our dense-ness to the spiritual. I am comforted when I feel that spiritual support but it is fleeting at times and the hard physical reality takes a predominant place again. Thanks for letting me ramble. I feel safe to do that here and feel so very blessed.

      about 3 years ago
    • Braz's Avatar
      Braz

      Integrative and nutrition approaches hold great promise for those even with advanced cancer. Do your research; there is a vast body of nutrition based reasearch out there that conventional drug based medicine does not know about, or does not want you to know about. I recommend chrisbeatcancer.com as a start point on your journey, but there is so much more out there. Beware of those that want to sell you a magic bullet, as it takes effort and a radical new approach across many factors in your life to get the inevitable positive results. Not all of these people are quacks, most are very well grounded.

      8 days ago

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