Asked by HearMeRoar on Thursday, May 9, 2013


    I want to hear some opinions... I've read several "survivor" stories of my type and stage of cancer. IDC - 2A. People seem REALLY scared and to be living with all this fear of recurrence and dying young etc. Am I missing something? I really and truly feel like I'm not afraid and I'm gonna be here a long time and this is just a little bump in my road. I don't want to LIVE in cancer land beyond my treatment. I feel like stage 2a is early and I'm going to be just fine. Am I wrong for that? What's your take on fear and your life forever being changed and ALWAYS thinking about it coming back?

    15 Answers from the Community

    15 answers
    • BobbyG's Avatar

      You have the right attitude. Take this seriously. Yet, Do not let yourself become overwhelmed with fear and dread. A cancer diagnosis is quite upsetting to many people and that is understandable. Stay in tune with your treatment team and remember there is no reason to wig-out if your Team tells you there is not.

      over 3 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      HMR, I was stage 2 25 years ago, got taken care of and spent 18 years living life, hardly ever thinking about cancer, then 4.5 years ago was dx again this time stage 3a, doing fine now. Your attitude is the right line of thinking. As far as I am concerned, why sit around and think about what MIGHT happen, and worry about what COULD happen. I prefer to live life and try not to worry, if something pops up to give me something to worry about, then I will.

      Live on HMR, live life!

      over 3 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      HMR there will always be half-full and half-empty glass people around. You sound like you are upbeat and positive~to me, a much better way to live than to sit around wringing your hands and worrying about something that may not even happen. GOOD FOR YOU! I am totally with you on this one! :-)

      over 3 years ago
    • Nomadicme's Avatar

      Or you could be the Woody Allen of half full, as in "my glass is half full of poison" (kidding, hope it made you smile).

      Apparently attitude helps with survival, so be positive. But don't be so positive you go in denial about real issues. I know I was "positive" I didn't have "serious" breast cancer, and here I am after double Mx, chemo, yada yada. My positivity sure didn't bring down my dx or need for serious treatment.

      Guess what I'm having a hard time articulating is, deal with issues as they arise, live well and in the present.

      over 3 years ago
    • DianaL's Avatar

      HearMeRoar, You have the right attitude. Survival from cancer is better than our risk of getting hit by a car. You don't worry about that, right! Keep that positive attitude going and try not to worry about the future--it will take care of itself. Live life now and to the fullest!

      over 3 years ago
    • MillieS's Avatar

      Hi, I have stage IV BC. And like you, I don't live in fear. Although being 70 this summer I can't say dying young. I don't let cancer define me. I live my life as if I am disease free. Sometimes it is difficult because my husband is so depressed about it. But as I tell him, we are not wasting today worrying about tomorrow . Tomorrow will take care of itself. If we need to cry then we will cry but today we will laugh and love and rejoice that God has given us such a glorious day. Hang in there Sister ....Enjoy your day everyday! Hugs and love

      over 3 years ago
    • grandmajean5's Avatar

      I had the same dx as you, finished radiation in March and, like you, I don't want to spend my life in fear of recurrence. There is too much life to live to do it in fear. I will admit to being anxious for my first mammo but don't spend time worrying about it. If I have a recurrence, then I'll deal with it. Keep up you good attitude.

      over 3 years ago
    • Steph921's Avatar

      I think you have some good advice here and have exactly the right attitude!! Cancer is a bump in the road and there be more along the way but you can't waste today worrying about what could or could not happen. That only robs you of today and is of no use at all!! I think a positive attitude will take you far in the war on cancer. I agree that you should take this seriously and use every weapon available to you but you should also enjoy your life. A life full of worry and stress in no way to live and they say a positive attitude is healthy and just one more weapon in your arsenal! Good luck to you and keep on smiling...and roaring!!!

      over 3 years ago
    • mcowett's Avatar

      I finished up active treatment in Feb. but to be honest with you I am still finding my way out of "canerland". HOWEVER; I am so confident with my team of doctors, that is one thing I am not worried about coming back. My life has been forever changed. Today I focus on the unfolding of this new person, and act accordingly. I do the best I can to keep needless fear and worry far away from me. It is a choice.

      over 3 years ago
    • DorothyV's Avatar

      Mine was ILC stage IIa. I've had mastectomy , chemo, rads, and reconstruction. I try to live each day the best way I can, appreciate everyone and everything, and not worry about the future. I trust my team of doctors and I choose to focus on living. Be happy. Keep your positive attitude. And remember each case is different! Sending hugs to you :)

      over 3 years ago
    • Misty's Avatar

      Hi HearMeRoar, I, too, have stage IIa IDC (mine comes with the bonus of being HER-2/neu which is very aggressive). I'm pretty tough and made it through chemo, even though I had a lot of trouble with side effects. I finished treatment 3/26/13. I had a mastectomy w/o reconstruction. I'm 66 and in a solid relationship and simply decided that things "are what they are" and I did what I needed to do during treatment, and I'm not going to waste my time worrying about my cancer coming back. In my case, though, it's very likely that it will return. If/when that happens I'll take it one day at a time, just like I did the first time.

      Good luck to you.

      over 3 years ago
    • debco148's Avatar

      You have the right frame of mind..I've been told by so many people in both the Eastern and Western medicine doctrines..that our bodies can heal themselves and if you keep your stress down, focus on laughing, loving life, eating to nourish, and having fun..that you'll be healthy for a very long time. Worry=Stress and this can have a negative effect on the very thing that you are worried about! I keep visualizing this big circle with a line in it --sort of like a big red "no smoking" sign.. that says NO CANCER allowed back here. It is my way of having fun with myself, but I refuse to worry and miss out on a wonderful life. One of the wise folks here once said by worrying " we die a thousand deaths and forget to live our one life" So wise..and so true. so LIVE!

      over 3 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Cancer is scary so the fear is normal and some people can never see past the fear. You have a good attitude toward this, but as others have mentioned, never become so flahool about it that you stop being on guard (which is not the same as being obsessive). You can never stop thinking about cancer again as it has become a part of your history, but you can move forward and live life to the fullest. Your best option is to take care of yourself, keep an open eye for anything and go smell the roses.

      over 3 years ago
    • akristine's Avatar

      I have liposarcoma and am 15 months cancer-free, waiting for the results of the MRI on Wednesday. Sarcoma has a 50% recurrence and we're monitoring me closely every three months. I don't live in fear because I know if it does recur, I have an entire medical team from surgeons to oncologists to radiation specialists to help me recover. As I've said many times, "I have cancer but it doesn't have me." Stay strong and keep fighting so you can help others.

      over 3 years ago
    • barbeo's Avatar

      I have only been in remission for 4 months, from 3-4 stage lung cancer. I am also like you I do not live in fear that the cancer will come back. I guess because my treatment,and radadation went so well. I had very few side effects .My cancer has taught me to not sweat the small stuff and to enjoy each day that I can. I just try to be a help to others that is going thur these bad times. I believe that we should not dewell on what might happen, because we can.t change it, but cope with what we have now. So please keep your good attitude, and stay strong, together we will win. Prayers are with you.

      over 3 years ago

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