• Survivor Question

    Asked by Kathy on Wednesday, March 20, 2013

    Survivor Question

    I feel very blessed to be a 2x survivor and done with chemo. For me when I'm in this happy place I just want to pretend I never had the experience. I cancelled out on a group meeting this evening because I just did not feel like talking about it or hearing about it. Does anyone have advice for my moving forward. Which you would think would be easy!! Are support groups worthwhile when I'm in this phase of no evidence of disease? Thank you!!

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      I understand where you are coming from. I live a part of my life in denial. I am seeing a therapist to help me deal with issues directly related to my cancers and treatment. You last week we started discussing how angry I am about what has been going on the last 4 years. I am generally speaking a happy positive person, and that's the face I almost always present to the world. I need to deal with the fact that "everything is not OK" all the time.

      So yes, being in a support group and/or seeing a therapist would be very helpful. You are still dealing with the emotional impact that being a 2x survivor.

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      Fabulous that you are a survivor. Look you have already answered your own question. Leave it behind and move on..Do not fall into what others think you should do or how others think you should behave. If you feel good about putting all of this behind you..then I think you should and I think its a positive move for you.

      I think denial is under rated. I think it can have a very positive impact on a cancer situation as long as it does not stop a treatment plan. Show me tha data that says "Thinking about the beast every waking moment is a good thing".

      When my sister was fighting for her life I had everyone and I mean everyone tell me I needed to "ACCEPT" that she was terminal..Finally a Phd Professor of Pallative care from Harvard saw me telling several people-Doctors to MYOB came up to me and said "Good for you" Don't ever give up Hope..!!! I said It will be a cold day in H--- when I give up on my sister.

      Move on..Do your screenings and enjoy life like there is "NO tomorrow"

      None of us get out of this alive..Go ahead and live it.

      over 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN (Best Answer!)

      I am a 3 time survivor, I spent the first 18 years of survivorship not ever looking back, and not thinking about cancer much. Then 4 years ago, it returned for my 3rd time, at the same time my father was losing his fight with prostate cancer. I finished my treatment and just a few months later Dad died. Two months later Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, not surgery, no treatment. She died 10 months later.

      So my outlook changed, I got mad and wanted to help do something about it. I now work on this site everyday, my wife and I work hard at Relay For Life, I am a Hero Of Hope speaker for the American Cancer Society, I speak to groups, individuals, cats, dogs, mennonites, flocks of ducks, anything that will stay still long enough to listen. Seriously, mainly Relay groups.

      So I am the total opposite of not think about it and bury it, I done that once already. But that's fine, there is no right or wrong thing to do, it's up to you and what ever makes you get through your life better.

      But.....as a survivor, you hold the power to help others get through it easier, softer, less worried, etc. Just by telling your story of how a person can be struck by cancer, not once, but twice, and get through to the other side.

      The choice is up to you. But above all, you have a new life, for the second time. If your like me you want to enjoy it. So do what ever makes you happy!!

      And thanks for being with us at WhatNext, people like you and others here are inspiring to those who have just been told, "you have cancer".

      over 4 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar

      Thank you for your responses. Greg - I do feel a calling to try to help others. The thing is, for me it is such a hurtful wound that stings me. Perhaps that is why therapy can be helpful. I do want to be able to be at peace with it all and not feel so upset and angry when there are reminders all around.
      I do see the social worker next week. I go from being extremely greatful to have survived to being mad I got this in the first place. Everyone's got something. And my case is not as bad as a lot have had to endure. Well in responding I guess I am somewhat of a wreck and it can get in my way of enjoyment and peace.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      Just a reiteration of what Greg said about helping others. I was so terrified to be told I had Stage IV cancer... Knowing full well what that meant.. my heart jumped into my throat and and fear encompassed me. THEN (this took about 5 seconds max) I Put myself where I needed to be at that very momment - into God's arms. I silently told him what was happening (as if he didn't know). I told him how terrified I was of cancer and in particular...This particular one OVARIAN CANCER!!!! (He knew this too.) He took my hand.... all fear and tension were immediately gone. I continued to ask for His help. I asked Him to lead me to where he wanted me to be. I've always been told that God only the wants the best for us... I trusted He knew where I should be. I told Him I would follow wherever he guided me. He led me to just the right doctor... just the right clinic.. just the right treatment... and here I am... After surgery my oncologist said I had a bout six months to live. That was Feb. of 06... What my oncologist didn't know... He had removed all my cancer when he too out all 'he could see'. When He saw the PET Scan... He jumped up and down like a little kid.... Thus I am right now 7 years later still "no evidence of desease". I will talk to anyone who hears those words 'YOU HAVE CANCER!!!! I will stand and dance and laugh and show them there is life after hearing those words. Maybe you don't need a group, but perhaps someone you meet needs to hear just what you went through to give them strength that they too can make it. I've always felt God brings us to our lives with a purpose in mind. I think I've found mine. Your's might be to live your life... but if sitting next to someone... who needs to hear "You can do this" from you. I'm betting you'd talk about the two time you've beat this daxx thing. Congratulations Kathy... You done good... "as some body once said.

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      Kathy, you can always help others..It does not have to be in a cancer environment if you find this upsetting. So many people find great joy and purpose in helping those with cancer and this is really a wonderful calling. We all benefit. However you can help so many diffrent ways that are equally valuable.

      Besides people animals bring me great unlimited joy.

      over 4 years ago
    • Ashok's Avatar

      I heared Aronia Berries help persons like you.Berries are available at Amazon.I got for my daughter.
      Also read some books like "End of illness","Survival of sickest"etc.That will help you to diver your mind further.
      Make sure you can not close your eyes.You have to follow strict diet regime and suitable life style.Pray the Almight at bed time and thank Him daily.

      over 4 years ago
    • alivenwell's Avatar

      This is very hard to forget; and follow-up screenings are a necessity. So, I totally agree with Greg to become an advocate for fighting this cruel disease until we whip it to the ground. Sounds like you are very lucky. Sometimes we just need a break from the nastiness in our lives.

      over 4 years ago

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