I'm afraid I don't understand this question. Are you saying that people here are too judgemental? Or, do you believe that they should be more judgemental?
thank you all for you're answers. I will however say, that no amount of judgement on anyones lifestyle is a dangerouse responce,
Well, there is one 15 year old kid on a cancer forum who smokes weed daily and is paranoid about his cancer relapsing. Um.... duh? Dude, drop the weed for a trial period and see if you don't feel just a tad bit better, ya' know?
That's not being judgmental, just smart.
Actually that is judgemental po18guy. You think it's wrong or inappropriate so you presume to know what the right thing to do is. I'm not in his shoes so I will not presume to know. And being snarky doesn't help either. This should be a supportive, non-judgemental forum for people to be honest and not run the risk of being hurt or embarrassed. Food for thought.
I tend to think that not being judgemental is best. Maybe there are exceptions, but I don't see that criticizing someone else's choice of religion, diet, life partner, etc. helps us cope with cancer.
As for a 15 year old who smokes pot and is "paranoid" about his cancer returning, let's look at the "paranoia" first. Is a fear that cancer might come back really paranoid? I think most of us have that fear to a greater or lesser degree. It is entirely rational. It is important to deal with the fear and get it under control, but calling someone paranoid for having the fear does little good. Helping them cope with the fear is better.
And then there is the pot. OK, it is illegal in many states and only vaguely legal in others. I don't think this is the proper forum to discuss the legal aspects of pot. Many people report that it helps them with pain and with certain medical conditions (glaucoma for example). I don't know why the kid was smoking pot or the specific legal situation where he lives, but it is possible that pot has an effect on his fears. So, I think it reasonable to suggest he discuss his fears and, depending on the legal situation he faces, his use of pot with his doctor. Yes, smoking anything is not good for you. I don't see how pot smoke is any less carcinogenic than tobacco smoke.
But, condemning the kid for using pot is probably counterproductive. It's a good way to turn the kid off and ensure that he does nothing to improve his life or his health. You can make gentle suggestions. Suggest that he find another way to control pain, etc. if that is why he smokes it. But, demanding that he quit immediately does no good. Maybe he should quit immediately, but a gentle approach will be more likely to succeed.
Joedy, I've been on WhatNext for some time now, and have never seen a judgemental posting by others. This cancer forum seems to be filled with the most caring individuals who really really care about helping others by sharing their experiences and thoughts on fighting cancer. If you read something different, perhaps you could post privately to that person, and nicely make a suggestion of how it could have been handled better. :)
It is understood that you don't feel well. We often misunderstand and see through pain and discomfort dirtied glasses when we view the world through clouds and shock waves. I don't believe anyone intended to make any judgements of you. None of us know you at all well enough to be able to do that even if we were so pompous as to try.
I don't know what set you off and I don't much care about a fictitious 15 year old pot smoking kid who is entitled to smoke weed (if he can get it and stay out of jail) if he perceives it as helpful to him. We are, each and all, entitled to help ourselves as we see fit.
Perhaps there is something in your life which is disturbing you and something someone inadvertently wrote set you to thinking about it? I don't know. Only you know about that.
Take some deep breaths. Take a few more and relax. One more big in ... and out. Do at least six, please. Now what was it you are upset about?
Best wishes for recovered good health.