• The Cost of Kindness

    Asked by legaljen1969 on Friday, July 10, 2020

    The Cost of Kindness

    I have been thinking about this a lot. People say it costs nothing to be kind. If that were true, likely many people would be much kinder. The greatest "cost" of kindness is engaging and connecting with another person.
    We have morphed into this world where "Grumpy Cat" says "I hate people." It's become the norm to gripe about other human beings and talk about "Eww, people."
    Even when we make New Years Resolutions, seldom does it have do with kindness or compassion. It is almost always " be more organized, eat a healthier diet, be able to run a marathon by the end of the year." I seldom see a resolution to visit grandparents, do web design for a charity, pass out race bibs at a cancer walk, pick up/order groceries for your homebound neighbor, write a daily text just to say you care.
    The most valuable gifts seldom have a price tag- a smile, or I love you can be priceless. What is the cost of kindness? Is it more than you are willing to pay. Would you appreciate the gift?

    12 Answers from the Community

    12 answers
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      Kindness is so easy. Yet so many peop!e seem to have forgotten what it even is. It's as simple as a smile. I have a little experiment I carry out as I go through my everyday life. So many people go around with a constant frown. On the sidewalk, in checkout line, anywhere i'm in contact with people, I just offer a smile. 99% of the time I get a smile back. You might ask, how does that work now that everyone is (theoretically) wearing a mask but you don't just smile with your mouth; you also smile with your eyes.

      Another habit I have developed; if a person is wearing a name tag or if , on the phone, they offer their name, call them by their name, thank them by name. It is amazing the transformation that occurs when you personalize even a brief contact with a waitress, check out clerk, receptionist, mechanic.......

      25 days ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Kindness could be described as the act of doing something for someone who cannot repay the act of kindness, or doing something for someone with no expectation of getting anything in return. Too many people are all about "what's in it for me", instead of what can I do for others. This is a good point Jen.

      25 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Years ago I begin making it a point to find some way to compliment the person doing the check-out service during the Christmas season.(now I just do it all the time) People can be snarly when they are frustrated because of the harried season and they often take it out on the clerks. So I find something, like, "Oh, I love your nail polish, your hands look so pretty." or "Your haircut is so flattering, do you get it done around here?" or sometimes I just acknowledge their pain, like "Gosh, how long have your had to stand here? Your feet must be achy?" People are generally happy to know someone sees them as a human being and not a robot. Check -out clerks get a lot of mean-spirited abuse - I do what I can to reverse that.

      25 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      I like the saying- If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!

      24 days ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Kindness is inherent in some of us. For the rest of us, it used to taught to us by our parents and teachers and Sunday School. Alas, parents are too busy working and are so worn out that they don't have any kindness left for their children when they come home. Teachers work under less than ideal conditions and "can't" always perform acts of kindness. Churches have changed and have either become big business or political instruments. So there is no one left to teach kindness to our children.

      24 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Oh, Jane, how very sad to think parents and teachers do not have the time to instill the importance of kindness to their children. But, I see your reasoning. And sad to hear you think of churches becoming big business or political instruments. My church is quite large. The business of being a church requires money to keep the doors open, so we can't really apologize for that. Still, we don't ask for money, we state the need and people contribute what they can. We have a very large children and youth program. Our teenagers work together (bottle drives, flower sales, etc) to earn money so they can go to Central America and work their butts off helping the people there build wells, chicken coops, new roofs, and have day care games and crafts with the little children. What they learn there is invaluable and I would say it goes a long way to teach the importance of kindness. As for being political...that almost makes me laugh. Do you have any idea the blow-back any of our pastors would get if they even hinted a preference for one political party or another? It just doesn't happen. If that is happening in your church you might want to look at some others.

      24 days ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Kindness is simple. I am not a religious person as such but I was raised in the church. I left the church when I figured out what works for me, simply adhering to the Golden Rule. I can be kind to another person by simply opening a door for them . I do not feel that I really have to engage with them or connect with them by doing this kindness although many acts of kindness do have these “ costs” if that is what you want to call them. I prefer moral obligation . We, including myself, need to work more on respecting each other and help when help is needed without feeling you have to or because we made a New Years resolution to do so.

      24 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      To be clear - I am not advocating church participation as the standard for learning about kindness. In my opinion, there is no substitute for one's parents when that lesson is needed. I am just saying it can be another source to add to our children's experiences that teach them the value of love for each other - which, of course, leads to kindness.

      24 days ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      The problem with kindness is that it is giving and we live in a "get" culture.

      24 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      I clearly failed to make my point. I was not complaining. Interestingly enough, what appeared here in over half the answers is sanctimonious judgment. It almost proves the point I was trying to make which is how we look at the world through an offended lens.
      I see a lot of great suggestions on how to extend everyday acts of kindness. I was more encouraging introspection and considering how each of us may get wrapped up in self and forget that the little things sometimes turn out to be but things to someone else. I got chastised for not considering kindness a moral obligation. I’m not really sure what I said to evoke that response.
      It requires so little to smile, say thank you, extend a compliment, hold that door for a second longer. It really costs nothing. Maybe a moment of time. The dividends may well be large though.

      24 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Sometimes we mis-interrupt the question. Sometimes we go down rabbit holes in the course of our discussion. But, don't you think *sanctimonious judgement* is a little strong? I thought we all just enjoyed interacting with each other in a safe place, not a place where we might get our feelings hurt - that doesn't bode well for kindness at all.

      23 days ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      If you ask me, there can never be enough kindness. It should be an ever expanding fountain within us no matter our faith. I know for me, the only cost to my kindness is the time it takes, and I don't really call that a cost at all. I feel at my best when I do a kindness to others, and many is the time when I would get the blues because I had not done a kindness for someone in a while. HUGS and God bless.

      23 days ago

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