• The phrase "everything happens for a reason"

    Asked by BabsWon on Thursday, February 12, 2015

    The phrase "everything happens for a reason"

    I don't like this phrase - does this bother anyone else? I prefer to think my cancer had a cause, but did not happen to me for a reason.

    83 Answers from the Community

    83 answers
    • TXHills' Avatar
      TXHills

      I see your point. If it happened "for a reason", there was some predestined good that was supposed to come out of it, so how dare you be unhappy about having cancer? Not cool. We can sometimes make our own meaning out of bad times, and sometimes good does eventually result. But that's different.

      about 6 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      I agree with both of you. I really dislike that statement. It means nothing.

      about 6 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I don't like to hear that either. Like God wants me to go through XXX for some reason?? Why did He choose me or you or some little kid?? It's bad luck.

      about 6 years ago
    • Phoenix76's Avatar
      Phoenix76

      Yes, thanks for bringing that up. I mean, you can take something that happens to you and try to make sense of it, be positive, learn from it, etc. But, darn it, sometimes some really bad XXX happens to people and there's no "reason" why! It's one of those glib remarks people make when they don't want to actually emotionally connect to someone's suffering.

      about 6 years ago
    • greytmomm's Avatar
      greytmomm

      That's a hard one to understand in many different things. Faith can be challenging..
      I'm a 39 year survivor. I don't think God made the cancer come. I believe it was a toxicity that I was exposed to. The blessing is strength to handle whatever the treatments throw my way. It stinks while it's happening but each and every time I get through. My belief God's angels are by my side. Reach for the higher power, it works!

      about 6 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I guess the reason for all the disease is so WE will die. We can't live too much longer than 75 or so or we would become a cancer cell that doesn't die when programmed to. Something kill most people and it's illness, old age or a accident. All part of the plan.....cancer is only ONE way of many.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      That is one statement I never make. Yet is one I completely believe. I do not like random I like pattern.. Things happening for a reason is comforting. As I look back I got cancer when I needed to get cancer. But this belief is so sacred to me to voice it trivializes it. I would never write those words or speak them aloud.

      about 6 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar
      karen1956

      I have said many times that the reason I got breast cancer is cuz I had boobs!!! I don't like anything that even remotely blames the victim!!! I didn't do anything to cause the breast cancer, so there is no reason other than having breasts!!!!

      about 6 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      If you can make some sort of sense out of it, then people think that you have a god complex or something else mental. OK, everyone knows that my 1st onc wanted to send me to Anderson in Houston-have surgery-most of face cut off-eye-nose-cheek bone-spend a year in a nursing home. He told me that I'd look exotic with an eye patch. I got another dr, did radiation-am in remission and my Drs are getting excited.

      OK. Met an 85 lb man today at cancer support. He went to Houston, had his family crammed into one room- nobody told him to gain weight to help survive. He had his colorectal surgery and was sent to the Regional cancer center. He lost 110 lbs in 9 months. A nurse called the dieticians at my HMO clinic. The HMO is taking him in as a hardship case.

      I'm not happy about cancer, but if that first oncologist had been nice and honest-caring-whatever, I might have gone to Houston and died an absolute horrible death. That man told me that I was so lucky to have escaped Houston and the regional cancer center.

      I'm not a PollyAnna, but sometimes there is a silver lining in those dark storm clouds.

      about 6 years ago
    • georgiamerlyn's Avatar
      georgiamerlyn

      I totally agree-trite idioms during a crisis do not help. Prefer to think we are given the strength to survive tremendous challenges. The other expression that I began to detest was, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Sometimes its nice to be able to just let go and have someone sympathize. Good cry or venting also great therapy. I truly felt blessed caught early but was a long ordeal!

      about 6 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Yes things happen for a reason.God does not give evil things to us.We are in a sin fallen world..

      about 6 years ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      Maybe the sentence should be "What can I learn from my situation and how can I help others dealing with the same thing?"
      This is what helped me get through cancer and all it's horrible treatments.

      about 6 years ago
    • JKay's Avatar
      JKay

      I agree, I don't care for that saying either! Having said that, I do believe my cancer has woken me up to my life in ways I wasn't before and led to some amazing things in terms of support from people, insight into my life and appreciating things more, dealing with emotions in a healthier way, etc. I am grateful to get something out of such a terrible diagnosis and do feel changed. Having said that, it is still different than "everything happens for a reason"!

      about 6 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      No chance hath brought this ill to me;
      'Tis God's own hand, so let it be,
      He seeth what I cannot see.
      There is a need-be for each pain,
      And He one day will make it plain
      That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
      Like as a piece of tapestry
      Viewed from the back appears to be
      Naught but threads tangled hopelessly;
      But in the front a picture fair
      Rewards the worker for his care,
      Proving his skill and patience rare.
      Thou art the Workman, I the frame.
      Lord, for the glory of Thy Name,
      Perfect Thine image on the same.

      about 6 years ago
    • Mikilog's Avatar
      Mikilog

      I agree,do not like that either.

      about 6 years ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      If you ask me, I think people who say that phrase are so at a loss for what to say they open up their mouths and let the words gush out. God didn't give me cancer; I got it because some cells in my body decided to have a wild party in my breast, thus resulting in treatments that really were no picnic. I do think it took cancer to get me to realize I need to move closer to my family, something my parents and I are starting to consider because nobody wants me to be alone if I get sick like when I was on chemo and had no immune system. If not for my church friends, I would have been in a jam for sure. Now, I'm not thinking anything would come back, but I am thinking that being sick while alone, even if it's the flu is terrible. Cancermight not have been good or God's plan,but it did wake me up to the fact I was too far from home. One glib comment I didn't appreciate was a man once told me I got cancer because God wanted me to improve my relationship with Him. Now if I'm reading into that the wrong way, someone please correct me. I got the impression that it was almost like I was struck with cancer by God to getme to further my relationship with Him. I know geting cancer was a time where I was supposed to lean on Him more, but something about the way that man said what he did didn't feel right. HUGS and God bless.

      about 6 years ago
    • mcgheere's Avatar
      mcgheere

      Yes, not a good saying to use to explain cancer. "Things happen for a reason" is something people when there is really no other explanation as to why bad things happen to good people.
      When I was first diagnosed and started seeing the different doctors at my cancer hospital I noticed a few times that they would start out the appointment with saying "I am sorry this happened to you". At the time it didn't quite sink in, but looking back that is the perfect thing to say !

      about 6 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      Sometimes we end up somewhere we didn't plan, so there was a reason we ended up there. I'll use the example of losing one's job. It's a disaster at the time. But, eventually the person will find a new, better job (even if it's not the first one they find). They might not ever have found the new job, if not for losing the old one. As for cancer, there just isn't any explanation for that. When the doctors can explain it, maybe they can prevent or cure it too.

      about 6 years ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      I abhor that statement because it implies good can come from cancer. As far as I am concerned cancer is an invading enemy and must be totally destroyed. No good can come of it, even if we are successful in destroying the cancer we must suffer the side effects of treatment which are not pleasant.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      First, I thought "everything has a purpose" was a phrase from the Bible. (I could be mistaken.)
      I think looking for the purpose helps us accept things that happen to us, and how it's made you a better person. The Bible says that God is building our character by giving us the trials we have.

      Although cancer is bad, there are MANY other things that are worse---children being born diseased or handicapped, traumatic brain injuries, being homeless, other diseases. Go to a hospital and spend some time if you don't believe that. As Barry Boomer said, it's part of the plan for our life, with its ups and downs. My cousin died at age 30 leaving two pre-schoolers with their dad. Another cousin had a son with Muscular Dystrophy who died, and my daughter was the same age and perfect. Everyone has bad things happen, and this is ours. I always prayed that I wouldn't be violently tortured and killed. So I'm not complaining.

      I first had cancer 13 years ago, which was just 2 lumpectomies and radiation, and over. Although minor, I always felt the PURPOSE was to remind me that I was one lucky person to be alive, and to remember life is a gift. Two years ago I got stomach cancer, and I still think "it's just the problem God gave ME." The purpose was to help me count my blessings.

      about 6 years ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3&version=NKJV

      Ecclesiastes 3 New King James Version (NKJV)

      Everything Has Its Time
      3 To everything there is a season,
      A time for every purpose under heaven:
      2 A time to be born,
      And a time to die;
      A time to plant,
      And a time to pluck what is planted;
      3 A time to kill,
      And a time to heal;
      A time to break down,
      And a time to build up;
      4 A time to weep,
      And a time to laugh;
      A time to mourn,
      And a time to dance;
      5 A time to cast away stones,
      And a time to gather stones;
      A time to embrace,
      And a time to refrain from embracing;
      6 A time to gain,
      And a time to lose;
      A time to keep,
      And a time to throw away;
      7 A time to tear,
      And a time to sew;
      A time to keep silence,
      And a time to speak;
      8 A time to love,
      And a time to hate;
      A time of war,
      And a time of peace.
      The God-Given Task
      9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

      12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

      14 I know that whatever God does,
      It shall be forever.
      Nothing can be added to it,
      And nothing taken from it.
      God does it, that men should fear before Him.
      15 That which is has already been,
      And what is to be has already been;
      And God requires an account of what is past.
      Injustice Seems to Prevail
      16 Moreover I saw under the sun:

      In the place of judgment,
      Wickedness was there;
      And in the place of righteousness,
      Iniquity was there.
      17 I said in my heart,

      “God shall judge the righteous and the wicked,
      For there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.”
      18 I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” 19 For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. 20 All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. 21 Who knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth?[a] 22 So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his heritage. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

      about 6 years ago
    • MelanieIIB's Avatar
      MelanieIIB

      My take on my having cancer is that we live in a fallen world. Everyone has some sort of problem or illness or tragedy to live with. While I am not comfortable saying God caused me to have cancer, I do think He allowed it to happen. In the Bible, we are never promised we will have no problems, in fact, we are promised that we will. However, God also promises to be there with us if we allow Him to. He can use the bad things that happen to us for good; for our good and others' good.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      @BarbarainBham I believe the Biblical quote you might be thinking about comes from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
      1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
      2a time to be born, and a time to die;
      a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
      3a time to kill, and a time to heal;
      a time to break down, and a time to build up;
      4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
      a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
      5a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
      a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
      6a time to seek, and a time to lose;
      a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
      7a time to tear, and a time to sew;
      a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
      8a time to love, and a time to hate;
      a time for war, and a time for peace.
      I believe that is where the concept comes from. However that statement trivializes the concept. It is a concept that is too sublime to put into words. Yet I live my life by that concept.

      As I have said before Cancer barely makes the list of all the "bad things" that have happened to me in my life. And I think all these bad things prepared me for cancer

      about 6 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      I don't like that phrase either. I got cancer because I had dense breasts and that is the only reason. The Bible does say that God will not give us anymore than that which we can bare. He allows us to go through trials because every trial we go through and pass we are that much closer to becoming pure gold. I knew 6 months before I was DX'd with cancer that I had it. Every time I prayed, read God's word or just thought about it, he was telling me to be prepared. So when I had my mammogram done and they called the next day as I was getting on a plane for CO I knew it wasn't going to be good. Still the shock was more than I could handle and I just fell apart. God has made me realize that our time here on earth is short and if we can't live by his word then we are going to have to make an account as to why and God will not accept excuses. Either we live for him or we don't. It's our choice. Me, I chose to live for him. I have been baptized in Jesus name (Acts 2:38) and filled with the Holy Ghost (Acts 2). That is what he requires of us. Just saying.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Thank you, Luv2knit and BoiseB!!! Ecclesiastes 3 is one of my favorites and I have it on my computer desktop, but I'll have to get back to you on the one I have in mind meaning all things have a purpose.

      James 1 and 2 talk about when God gives you trial and tribulations, he is building your character, and sometimes he's trying to bring someone to their knees who's not calling on God. (That would be a 'purpose.") Classic examples of that would be substance abusers, who some people describe as having to sink to the bottom to change and get better. If you can be objective and see the "big picture" of your life, you can see good things happening from bad things, sometimes for the glory of God or to help someone else. I've been able to comfort a lot of family and friends with cancer since I first had it 13 years ago.

      Cancer is really just your body aging and the cells divide incorrectly. Of course, we try to get rid of those aging cells, but it's just the problem we got---better than some we could have. Most of us have lived full lives with families, so we're now in a new chapter. Maybe time helps you realize this is just part of llfe.

      about 6 years ago
    • fiddler's Avatar
      fiddler

      Yeah, well ... God doesn't want us to get sick and He doesn't make us that way. That's the work of the "other one". The saying is nonsense.

      How 'bout "Life happens and then we deal with it."

      about 6 years ago
    • IronMom45's Avatar
      IronMom45

      I couldn't believe you took the words I've been saying since day one right out of my mouth. I've just asked people to stop saying it to me.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      If you know that cancer is just your cells aging and dividing incorrectly, similarly to skin getting wrinkled, you understand that no one did it to you. It just happens naturally, like skin getting wrinkles.

      God made our bodies with the plan that we die someday, so of course we get sick as our body ages, whether it's a heart attack or something else. How else could we die and go to heaven?

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      There's a song that says "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go right now." Just want you to know I'm not in a hurry to go, but I'm not having a pity party because I have cancer. There's no need to be sad when you can appreciate your blessings and feel content.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      To Believers, what about Romans 8:28 (NIV):
      And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

      Another translation (Romans 8:28 KJV):
      And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

      about 6 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Woody Allen....
      I don't mind dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
      Yogi Berra
      It ain't over till it's over.

      about 6 years ago
    • buckhannon's Avatar
      buckhannon

      Not a fan of this phrase either. It implies that our lives are pre-set/predetermined; and if this is the case, how are we to process the concept of 'free-will'?

      about 6 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      I figure that when someone lays a platitude on me, it's not really for me but for them, so I pay it no mind. My mantra is, "Nothing is wasted," which is different. It doesn't deal with what might have caused something, but it takes whatever has happened and puts it to the best possible use that I can manage.

      about 6 years ago
    • Sandie's Avatar
      Sandie

      For me, I have always believed in that saying....I do believe everything happens for a reason. If I had not been in a head on car accident in 2012 and received a concussion because of it, I probably never would have found out about my stage IV lung cancer because I had no symptoms. I believe that car accident happened to save my life. Yes, I have been through all the chemo, all the radiations, twice because it came back a second time....but if it had not been for that accident, I more then likely would have died by now....

      about 6 years ago
    • msesq's Avatar
      msesq

      Sorry if this offends anyone but I do not believe there is a reason I was diagnosed with breast cancer, one day after a lumpectomy my father died and today my husband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. All in the space of 7 months. If I believed in God I'd think he/she/it was being heartless and cruel. It's just random bad luck.

      about 6 years ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      msesq, so glad you said this! I'm an atheist and can appreciate your view. I wish your husband well.

      about 6 years ago
    • catwrites1's Avatar
      catwrites1

      Seems like I'm in the minority here on this one, but I like the saying - it speaks to me (and helps me deal). We all experience this journey differently, and respond to sayings, special months/days, pink ribbons, etc. in ways that work for each of us individually. Perhaps cancer was not the reason for subsequent things to happen in my life, but it sure put some things up close and personal that have been beneficial to me and to others around me. Bottom line, I've made some positive changes that I may not have otherwise.

      about 6 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      We all have our beliefs, and no matter what- we got cancer. I was reading an ASCO that people in their 20s and 30s are being diagnosed with lung and colorectal cancers. They estimate that in 20 years that half of the people in the US will be diagnosed with cancer, that's one out of 2 people. Some have done everything right-I'm not one of those-and others may have been crazier than I am. We're all here.

      about 6 years ago
    • Roadrunner's Avatar
      Roadrunner

      On the above subject I brush this off if it is said to me since I have had MUCH worse things told to me about my cancer.
      I have another question.....does it say anyplace in the bible that we will be made whole again in heaven? For some reason I thought it did and cannot find it. (you can laugh at the following because now it is funny to me, however, the day after the dream I cried all day). I had a dream about two weeks ago that I was in heaven and the angels were trying to help me find my breasts.....lots of them were hanging on clothes lines......we could not find mine. They kept calling in more angels to help and then I woke up crying. That day I was very sad......now it is funny to me.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I would NEVER lay platitudes on anybody, but was just replying to the question asked with a Bible reference because several people here obviously believe in the Bible. I respect all beliefs, which is why I stated it was for "Believers," avoiding the term "Christians." As far as the question we were asked, I try to remember that if the person means well, why take offense? It's as simple as that to CHOOSE not to get stressed and have a chip on your shoulder.

      I really think people are needlessly arguing about semantics ("reason" vs purpose vs results), because if you agree that your cells went haywire because they're aging (even if there was an outside force like smoking that EFFECTED that), then neither God or the devil caused it---in the case of smoking, you caused it yourself, although you probably didn't mean to. (Smoking and being overweight are what I blame mine on.) Bodies wear out. . . .

      Buckhannon, "All things working together for good" wouldn't necessarily be predestined, which I don't think many people believe in, and wouldn't necessarily be the "reason" or "cause," but could just be good RESULTS. When bad things happen, its much more pleasant to look for good results instead of having a pity party. Making a family or friends more appreciative of each other is an example of good results. Sorry, I'm not familiar with "free will" in a religious context, although I invite you to discuss it. Denominations focus on different things. I go to a non-denominational church that focuses on core beliefs only, rather than arguing about things that don't matter much.

      Sending peace and positive thoughts to everyone!
      Valentine's Day is a good time to do that.
      Barbara in Birmingham, AL

      about 6 years ago
    • RNSusan's Avatar
      RNSusan

      I believe that in some instances, things do happen for a reason. sometimes it's simply to get our focus back in the right direction. my being diagnosed with breast cancer caused/allowed my relationship with my husband to grow stronger in a way that unless you know our history, people might not understand. so do I think God allowed or gave me cancer to have this happen? No, but it is a by-product of the diagnosis. it's made my children, biologic and step have a greater appreciation that had it not been for this diagnosis, maybe would not be there.

      about 6 years ago
    • Marge_D's Avatar
      Marge_D

      I know some people hate the phrase and what it represents. I have to confess to loving it and trying to live by it. I have learned so much from having cancer, including that I should eat more healthfully and take better care of my body, and about the frailty of life and my own fears about death. I have always viewed life from a spiritual point of view -- why are we here and what are we to learn. We all die and don't know when, and really don't know why we are alive either. The Buddhists have a theory that each life time we are intended to learn something important, and that what can seem like an affliction can actually provide a great opportunity for spiritual growth. I can't say that I have learned all my lessons but I am trying to enjoy the course, for "better" or "worse."

      about 6 years ago
    • better's Avatar
      better

      God is Good, Always. God is Love, by definition. So, if God is good, why do bad things happen to good people, or for that matter, to anyone at all?
      The ageless question.
      Leads to Is there a God?
      Answer: God is a Mystery, only understood through Faith, Hope, and Love.
      How do you know?
      Answer: you have to ask for faith and see.
      How do you do that?
      Answer: stand in front of a mirror and ask "God, please give me some faith" for 30 days in a row.
      Ha ha.
      God promised anyone who asked would be given faith. Try it. You might laugh in the beginning, and think this will never work.

      about 6 years ago
    • MelanieIIB's Avatar
      MelanieIIB

      Roadrunner: regarding your question about if the Bible talks about being made whole again, it talks about that we will have new bodies. 2 Corinthians 5 New Living Translation (NLT)
      5 For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2 We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3 For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.[a] 4 While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. 5 God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.

      Then there is another verse that talks about no pain or crying in heaven: Revelation 21:4 ESV /
      He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

      That was a wild dream you had, thanks for sharing.:)

      about 6 years ago
    • MelanieIIB's Avatar
      MelanieIIB

      I want to commend everyone for allowing views/beliefs to be expressed on this subject without attacking anyone and their beliefs. What a wonderful group of people who allow others to discuss this subject openly and not attack them. It is so refreshing and comforting to express what you believe without being attacked. Thanks to everyone. This website has many positives and this is just another one of those positives. :)

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      I believe that that phrase is almost universally offensive. To those who (for lack or a better word) have a more spiritual world view, that phrase trivializes their world view. To those who have natural world view it denies their core belief.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Marge D. My brother is a follower of the Dali Lama he would agree that this statement trivilizes a very deep concept.

      about 6 years ago
    • Marge_D's Avatar
      Marge_D

      Wow, are you attacking me BoiseB? I am not sure the Dali Lama would support that.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      After all this discussion, which I enjoyed, I realize that apparently I don't agree with "everything happens for a reason" and the literal meaning is different between "reason," "purpose," and "results." I do think people who say the phrase are attempting to be kind, so I accept it as kindness.

      I've always gotten comfort from Romans 8:28 (NIV):
      And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

      Knowing things will turn out "good" can put your problems in perspective as just a small part of our journey.

      about 6 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Trying to find out why is like trying to figure out if DNA, RNA happened by Chance...lol
      I DO Believe that as long as we Inhabit THESE bodies ( only renting here ) we should be taking GOOD Care of them. MOST Americans eat the SAD Diet and Most Americans by the time they reach 40 have at least something wrong with them because of the diet. We treat our cars better than our Holy Bodies. When I talk about nutrition it's not just about cancer but over all health of everybody. Our kids eat crappy food and are obese, have earlier and more diabetes and asthma etc. Just walk down the aisle in Walgreens where they have the meds, heartburn meds and others and it's a massive amount of meds. Some are really helpful but I don't think GOD gave us these bodies to be abused and they are being abused in many ways from diet to the air we breathe to a hectic lifestyle of survival of the fittest....SO all I say is that if you have cancer or not take better care of these amazing bodies God gave us to use here on earth.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Marge D. I am actually agreeing with you, I believe the Dali Lama would that that statement trivializes the true deep concept that we share. I do believe that the Dali Lama is one of the three Great Spiritual Leaders of the Twentieth Century. I believe that the statement is a platitude which contains some truth but is trite therefore diminishing the deeper truth. Others might see it as totally false.

      about 6 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      Barryboomer. You are so right. God did create these bodies and the Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a son that doesn't take care of himself and is extremely overweight. We have genetic heart issues and colon cancer in our family along with Type 2 diabetis. My grandchildren of that same son are overweight because their mother is too busy to make sure they eat right. I don't believe that they ever get a home cooked meal. I had to watch them the other night and they were eating McDonald's. Their mother lost 180 lbs by eating right and exercising and now she is a competition weight lifter and has started her own workout business called Pound. So if she can do that for herself, why can't she do it for her children? As a grandmother I am very concerned about their health because of our family history. So you are right. We need to take care of our bodies as best as we can and now that we have the knowledge of what to do to enable us to do that we should at least try. There is a God and he doesn't expect us to be flippant about how we take care of what he has blessed us with. Sorry if you nonbelievers are offended, but I am NOT ashamed to admit that there is a God and he does have control of us whether you believe it or not.

      about 6 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      better, God doesn't make bad things happen to people. The Bible says that we are tried in the fire (trials and tribulations in this lifetime) so that we may come out as pure gold. In other words, we have trials we go through in this life so that we can learn to lean and depend on God to bring us through them. If we fail, then we go through that trial again. We were not evolved from monkeys, man was formed from the dust of the earth and God breathed a breath into him and he became a living soul. That refers to all people. Men have one less rib than women do because God took a rib from Adam to make a helpmate for him. So I don't blame God for my cancer at all. It happened because I had dense breasts and that was just the way I was formed from my family genetics. You know that old saying, "We learn from our mistakes?" Well it is the same thing with the trials we go through. We learn from them and we become a better person because of it. Anyway that is what I believe. I am not saying that anyone with a different opinion is wrong because we are all entitled to our opinions be they spiritual or not.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I know people with dense breasts who never got cancer. NIH National Cancer Institute studies at UAB have shown that walking several times a week after having early breast cancer prevents a recurrence. Being sedentary is a BIG risk factor for breast cancer, and probably other cancers, too. (I don't walk.)

      There are SO MANY things they know cause cancers, that I'm sure in 10 or 20 years we'll know many more chemicals or foods we don't even suspect today, so I don't seriously think there's any way to be sure what caused our own cancers.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Barryboomer, don't forget that our health care is keeping us all alive much longer than in the past, and older people have more problems. Before people died off before they got such bad things. We do need to take care of our bodies though!

      about 6 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Barbara.....forget dying...ok....Societies around the world that eat closer to the soil do NOT have the health issues we have whatever the age.....as soon as they move HERE they start getting all our chronic diseases. It's NOT Foolproof but eating foods that were designed for humans and living in an area where the air isn't polluted certainly can't hurt. I believe that Education is where it has to start and teaching kids starting in kindergarten about all of this is the key. I have been trying to get my Song called DONUTS DON'T GROW ON TREES in the schools but no takers. It could be used as an educational tool....there is a HUGE Lobby against changing the Foods that WE Eat.....and as long as everything we do revolves around money the Wall Street we are on our own and must learn all this on our own. It should be taught to young mothers also.....

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Barry, you should send your song to Michelle Obama, since she's pushing nutrition in the schools.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      When I was young and raising my children I completely neglected my health. I had health insurance and a really big life insurance. I had a Will that was kept up to date. I figured I was covered. I cooked seperate for myself and my children. I skipped many meals, rarely ate breakfast and often went without eating for several days. I was covered by insurance what motivation did I have to be healthy. Was this the reason, I got cancer. No I don't believe the reason I got cancer was about me. I believe that I got cancer so the Dr.s could learn more about cancer.

      about 6 years ago
    • Roadrunner's Avatar
      Roadrunner

      @MelanieIIB.......thank you for your answer. No wonder in my dream we would not find them......I'm getting a new image :) I really appreciate your time to answer my question

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Roadrunner, thanks for sharing the funny boob story! FYI the little boy, who went to heaven and came back in the book and movie about that, said that everyone he met was in a young body, although they would introduce themselves as his grandfather or someone old. (I was thrilled to hear that!!)

      When a lady asked if her dog would be there, Billy Graham said that whatever it takes to make you happy will be there.

      about 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Barbara in Birmingham Pope Francis has said that animals go to heaven. So if Billy Graham and Pope Francis concure there is a high probability your companions will be there.

      about 6 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Hey Barbara....I've tried numerous times to get it to Michelle but it's impossible. I don't even get a form letter back. I am an unknown schnook and can't get to anybody....lol Song down below if your interested in hearing it. I should be in the school system as teaching tool. Oh well....

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UBzxkXC4I

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Hey, Barry, It's catchy! Maybe you should try a different approach, and show some people dancing either a silly dance or a hip hop dance and singing the song! Have you seen "It's All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor (sp?) ? If you don't know any kids, you and some friends could do it.

      Don't be offended, but I think the low voice sounds good, but it might be easier to understand the words if it was a tad higher---OR you could introduce it to Michelle Obama as a poem to read the words, and then say "here it is set to music."

      In Birmingham the schools have a school nutrition program that plants vegetables similar to Michelle's. If you could find out if the city closest to you has one, maybe you could send it to them. One thing about schools is they're leery of people they don't know coming in. If you were a college student creating a teaching tool, they would love for you to be there, so maybe you could think of somebody to vouch for you. If you go to church, you could do it at Bible School coming up in June! (Kids love to sing and dance!)

      Then there's always the American Cancer Society and Children's Hospital. . . .

      about 6 years ago
    • BabsWon's Avatar
      BabsWon

      Thank you all for responding to my comment, I enjoyed reading each of the responses. The boob dream was sad & humorous at the same time. I agree with many that God's plan is for all of us to live eternally with him in heaven and that our troubles on earth started with the devil & Adam & Eve. And that God allows evil to exist, but does not cause it. He does not abandon us either. Help comes in many forms: angels, doctors, nurses, caretakers, family, friends, pets, and on and on. Also, we do have a responsibility to do our best to take care of our health, both mentally & physically, and to love and take care of each other. Best wishes to all in our struggles to make sense of our world.

      about 6 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      I originally disagree with this statement.....didn't like it at all. Like was mentioned before, it felt like the statement was placing some sort of blame on the person. Now, 3 years later, I see it from a different angle. After being able to make a positive impact on other people because of it. Seeing the blessings come from it....and yes, crazy, there have been blessings. However, I would not make this statement to someone just newly trying to deal, cope, make sense, and wrap their head around their diagnosis, Love, hugs, and many blessing to everyone. <3

      about 6 years ago
    • MelanieIIB's Avatar
      MelanieIIB

      @Roadrunner, you are welcome; any time. I like your comment that you couldn't find them because you're getting new ones! :)

      about 6 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      I hate to disillusion anybody, but the Bible says there will be no creatures in heaven. I will get the exact scripture from my pastor this morning after church and then post it.

      about 6 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Why does this saying having everyone quarreling and arguing, people with hurt feelings, people trying to be the "ONE" that's right.

      If Whatnext had a button to stop receiving Emails about a certain Question- a certain media post-I would use it. I know that I'm the one that opened this-- Which makes me very stupid. I'll admit it, I am so stupid to have opened this.

      about 6 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      Hi Meyati, I don't really think anyone is quarreling. We're all just stating our views and our takes on the saying. At least that's how I see it. It has been very interesting to read everyone's point of view. Also, there is a way that you can stop receiving emails about a particular question you've participated in. Just go to the top of the page where the question was originally asked and click on "stop following" found right under the original question. Hope this helps. Hugs.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Meyati, don't worry, we aren't quarreling, for several good reasons. We're all adults, and we know there's no right or wrong answer to beliefs (that can be proven in this life). So we're just discussing and hoping for what we talk about.

      Lirasgirl, I appreciate your comments about the passing of time and the way cancer changes our outlook in good ways. May everyone here feel that.

      about 6 years ago
    • Nonnie917's Avatar
      Nonnie917

      I got that scripture that I said I would get about animals in heaven. It is the following:

      Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth? Ecclesiastes 3:21

      So what it is referring to is that the spirit of man who lives his life for God will one day be with God in heaven. The spirit of the beast, our pets etc., will return to the dust of the earth. It does not mean that the beast will be in XXX it just means that they will return to the earth because animals do not have a soul. A soul is what God gave us when he created us.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I don't know the verse Billy Graham and the Pope base their belief on that dogs will be there, but I hope they're right. Sometimes verses like the one you quote are hard to interpret, plus the Bible has contradictions in it, so we just have to hope.

      I've never had a pet because I'm divorced and worked all the time, but my parents had a sweet beagle who never even growled at anybody. One day two **** pit bull dogs got in my parents' fenced in backyard and killed him. That was so unjust that I cried for days and wished I could have helped him, so he's the only pet I would wish to see again.

      Hopefully having a soul won't have anything to do with getting into heaven. Billy Graham's phrasing was "whatever it takes to make us happy will be there." The Bible repeatedly says that it will be paradise.

      about 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Nonnie, did you notice that your quote is from the same chapter others were quoting above about "a time for everything"? I looked it up to see the context and why a question is being asked, and I don't think it's telling us anything. I think it's asking the question.

      about 6 years ago
    • Roadrunner's Avatar
      Roadrunner

      Even though most of us believe in the power above we all have a different idea of what heaven will be like. I for one feel my beloved pets will be there....in fact they will probably be the first to greet me. I have no bible base for the following,,,,,,,,,,I just believe it. When I see an animal that was hit by a car or truck on the highway I always say, "God please let that little animal go to animal heaven.....amen".

      about 6 years ago
    • KimberlynJ's Avatar
      KimberlynJ

      I think someone who says "Everything happens for a reason" to a cancer patient should be kicked in the teeth. That's the most ridiculous thing to say. And granted, most outsiders don't have a ready answer, but how about plain old compassion?

      I've got one.... "I'm sorry this has happened to you! Is there anything I can do to help?"

      about 6 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I want my best horses there. My son wishes that god will have ships and sail on the celestial ocean-to smell the sea, and smells of a war or cargo ship. Jesus and Peter sailed on the Sea of Galilee. Paul was a world traveler that sailed the Med. Even Noah and Jonas went sailing.

      almost 6 years ago
    • Jean-Luc's Avatar
      Jean-Luc

      "I'm sorry this has happened to you" is definitely a better sentence, without judgement nor religious beliefs thrown in, IMO.

      I most of the time resent the "everything happens for a reason" line, especially when I feel it is meant as "get over it and shut up" or "oh, don't worry, you'll be fine!" or "I am praying for you / sending you good vibes / whatever ritual my beliefs entail so you should be grateful to me and how awesome I am to do it for you (without being asked, of course).
      Now, I can conceive that prayer works, and more power to the ones who believe it and do it, but please, not in my face as a mean to look better and belittle my pain / experience / situation.
      I appreciate sincere prayers, don't get me wrong. I just prefer when people do it without making it a public display, if you know what I mean...

      From my perspective, getting lung cancer at 44 is not a blessing. And who cares about the why I got it? Certainly not I. The why is irrelevant to me, the how to fix it or make the best of it is relevant.

      As for what people say, I read between the lines... I would be okay with some people (very few) to tell me "everything happens for a reason" and I would not take it badly, because I know and feel that these specific people are honestly caring (even if not very skilled at expressing what they mean in a nice way, perhaps).

      But I have heard and seen too many already who use that sentence (and other out of context platitudes just like it) to either express their being not comfortable with me letting them know I have cancer, to try and mask that they don't care, or simply because they can't conceive that - just maybe - I didn't do anything to cause my cancer, nor do I deserve it...
      And then there are the people who ask me how I am doing, but do NOT mean it nor want to hear an honest answer, but instead expect me to pretend that all is peachy fine and I should just either shut up and pretend or get out of their sight... o.O

      No offense intended to anyone, I am simply trying to express it from my viewpoint.

      That said, having this cancer definitely changed my perspective on every thing in my life, and made me both less tolerant of rude idiots and more accepting of everyone else's views and experience. :)
      Meeting a lot of great people, some online and some in real life, too! :)

      almost 6 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I think people mean to be reassuring, but what they're alluding to is to know that some good will come of it later. Some of us have said that after some time passes (years), we can see positive changes because of the experiences. Blessings to all.

      Romans 8:28 (NIV):
      And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

      almost 6 years ago
    • KCNana's Avatar
      KCNana

      I am an 18 year breast cancer survivor.I prefer to believe that my cancer was for a reason rather than a random act that had no purpose. I know how difficult it is to suffer through the treatment of cancer. I was part of a study that was very difficult to endure. I received twice the number of chemo treatments that were the standard and each dose was double the amount of chemo. I still worked full time and tried to take care of my family. Those months were basically as close to XXX as I ever want to come. The high dose of chemo has caused damage to my brain that has led to other diseases that I struggle with today. With that said, i learned things from this time of treatment that i do not believe I could have learned any other way. They are sacred experiences to me and as difficult as the process was, I am grateful for what i learned.

      almost 6 years ago
    • tzuwho's Avatar
      tzuwho

      XXX no! Same with God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

      almost 6 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Would it be appropriate for the person with cancer to answer the person who has cancer to answer the statement "I am sorry" with "Everything happens for a reason" Although I would answer "Don't be sorry it is the "Will of God"

      almost 6 years ago
    • Dkatsmeow's Avatar
      Dkatsmeow

      XXX NO! I wish wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. That is the biggest piece of XXX I have ever heard. I never deserved this & am finding no rhyme or reason for it to happen. Did it make a better person? No! Did it change my life? Yes. Not for the better. I am so weak it is all I can do to get out of bed & function most days. If there is a reason for me having cancer I can't fathom why other than to kill me. And I am so not ready to die. This is my first recurrence & hopefully my last. Last CT scan was clear. I am down to 85 lbs. Talk about a 90lb weakling. My feet are so swollen I can hardly walk. My husband has a bad back, he can only help so much. A reason for having cancer. Yeah the only reason I can think of for cancer to exist at all is so a cure can be found. And I never wanted to be a guinea pig. There is no reason.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Dkatsmeow, I'm sorry you are having such a bad time and hope it will only be temporary and you will soon feel like your old self.

      Be sure and stay in close touch with your doctor about your weight, as there are things they can do if you keep losing weight, such as installing a feeding tube if you are nauseous and medicine doesn't help. Assuming you've tried nausea medicines, a feeding tube could make you feel a lot better fast, since they put food directly into your stomach or intestines. If you're down to 85 lbs., you may also need an I.V. ASAP. Wishing you good health.

      almost 5 years ago

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