• THE UNSOLICITED ADVICE

    Asked by JimmiMyers on Wednesday, May 20, 2015

    THE UNSOLICITED ADVICE

    Boy, I just got diagnosed Sat. May 16 with RCC. I am waiting for my surgery to remove my left kidney. I have been absolutely swarmed with advice from people who do not have cancer. I have gotten great advice from survivors, but what is the kind way of getting these others to back off? I know they mean well, but I don't need people questioning my decisions or, my doctors. Can anyone please share their experience with this?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • HeidiJo's Avatar
      HeidiJo

      I don't know other than to smile and nod. I didn't get bad advice from non cancer people, but I did get stupid comments, like "Lyphoma? oh that's no big deal. My brother had it" My dad told me to suck it up, stop laying around and cook and clean for my family. I think I just chose to focus on all the positive people and those who helped me.

      over 4 years ago
    • JimmiMyers' Avatar
      JimmiMyers

      I am getting lots of great advice and direction from several women I know that are breast cancer survivors... but I know lots of people into energy and natural healing, as well as people who just KNOW A LOT about everything... "You need to do this...you need to do that..." Jeez, the news is still sinking in and I am dealing with a lot. I guess it could be worse, I could have NO support at all. I am trying to stay grateful and positive. I am in pain, I am a little scared and anger is trying to creep in. Dealing with a lot. It is almost the one year anniversary of my father losing to cancer.

      over 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      That's normal Jimmi, I have been told that I need to take every crazy crackpot third world drug that's not approved in the US that you can imagine. I have been given new dietary guidelines that promote every berry or vegetable there is. And one guy said I needed to take this "powder" that I don't remember what it was, and he guaranteed it worked, because he had been taking it for 6 months, and he didn't have cancer, so it must work!

      So, how to get them to back off? I simply tell them thanks for the information, that's interesting and I'll maybe look it up, but for now, I'm taking the advice and direction of my "real" doctors and we think that's the way to go. That usually makes them back off.

      Wish you the best on your surgery. Let us know how things are going. Thanks for posting the question too.

      over 4 years ago
    • JimmiMyers' Avatar
      JimmiMyers

      Thank you Greg. Yes, I have heard, 3 table spoons of honey and two teaspoons of cayenne, 3 times a day for 30 days and the cancer is just gone. My RCC is super aggressive and I think it has metastasized to my liver. I just cant put faith in honey. haha. I have my surgery next month. I will keep you posted.

      over 4 years ago
    • cam32505's Avatar
      cam32505

      Just tell you're following doctor's orders.

      over 4 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I was in a position or had the luxury of not telling people. One way to reduce this after the cat is out of the bag is to say- I'm doing just fine-and talk about something else-deflection. Another is to ask them how they are doing. My Dad reached the point where he said "It's none of your business." Good luck---

      over 4 years ago
    • luckydawg19's Avatar
      luckydawg19

      Sometimes people offer advice when they do not know what else to say. Some people are simply not comfortable talking about their feelings about your cancer or digging into how you are feeling. So, you get advice. For those people, I just smile, say I will consider it and move on. No need to validate their advice.

      I know there are some people who believe they know more than your doctors or you about the best way to treat your cancer. These people can be harder to get rid of. If necessary, take a harder line with them (see Greg's advice).

      Just remember, you can listen to all this crazy stuff, you do not have to act on it or even remember it 10 minutes later.

      Good luck with your surgery! Have faith in your doctors, your plan and be strong!

      over 4 years ago
    • Ainehere's Avatar
      Ainehere

      My sense of humour gets me through and try to let it go over your head I will be having my left kidney removed on Wednesday the 27th May. I lost my man a year ago with brain tumour so grieving at the moment they could not operate on it. Hope all goes well for you.

      over 4 years ago

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