• They'll follow my lead, right?

    Asked by HearMeRoar on Saturday, February 9, 2013

    They'll follow my lead, right?

    Tell my 8 and 10 year old today. Only telling them I have cancer and will have surgery. And that their grammy is coming for 3 weeks. And then I'll point out all the beautiful, healthy long-term survivors in their lives. We'll talk rads and chemo later. Got this advice from a navigation nurse. What do you think? I feel that I can deliver the message positively and with hope. I have decided that in life I have ALWAYS gone after what I wanted and have a huge history of kick butt and making positive things happen!! I'm gonna make LIFE happen too!! If God is for me who can be against me?

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Good plan. Being positive is great, but don't go overboard on sugar coating it. Kids are pretty smart and if you aren't completely honest they will know and assume it is worst than it actually is.

      over 3 years ago
    • HearMeRoar's Avatar

      Oh I will be highly positive and full of faith. Only thing I will not do is promise anything about an outcome either.way.

      over 3 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Great plan. You are so positive, and they will pick up that. They probably suspect something is up, and knowing what is going on, will help them cope. Be prepared for questions, maybe not today, but they will come.

      over 3 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm (Best Answer!)

      Although I rarely give advice let me just recommend one thing: be sure to ask them how they feel about what you have just told them, and do not be reluctant to let them know that you are afraid as well, but that you are determined to get better and with their help, you are confident of a good outcome. Working in oncology and end of life I have learned that it is important to establish honesty and to always ask how kids feel about the situation. If they tell me that they are afraid too then I always ask them what they think we can do to take that fear away. It is a starting point and it lets you know their current state of mind. However, if you hide your fear, they will sense it and hide theirs as well. You dont have to use the word "fear," you can use the word "nervous" if it helps. Best of luck to you, Carm RN.

      over 3 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Ask them for their help in your recovery. Tell them you will need them to read you stories, tell you about their day, paint you pictures etc. , if you feel like it, help them with their school work and watch TV with them. Include them as much as possible. Even a few minutes will make it okay to then send them away while you rest. Plus you will love seeing them. They will probably be told by other adults that "Don't bother mommie, she needs her rest." (well intentioned) but if they see you every day, it will be less of a shock to see any transformation and they won't feel resentment for being pushed away even if that is the furthest thing from your mind.

      over 3 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar

      I think this sounds very reasonable.....good advice from the navigation nurse...

      over 3 years ago

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