• Things have been quiet lately

    Asked by BuckeyeShelby on Wednesday, November 18, 2020

    Things have been quiet lately

    How is everyone? Since we lost Greg, there hasn't been much activity on the board. Everyone doing OK?

    45 Answers from the Community

    45 answers
    • centered1's Avatar
      centered1

      I agree, Buckeye. I think Greg would be terribly disappointed in us. This was his baby.

      7 days ago
    • Kp2018's Avatar
      Kp2018

      Thanks for asking, BuckeyeShelby. Doing OK here.

      I think everyone's a bit depressed by Greg's passing, and the liveliness of the site really depended on his offering so many inspirational items and posing interesting questions.

      Thanks for your contribution to keeping it going.

      7 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Everything is good here.

      What's everyone doing for Thanksgiving? My mom (90 years old) initially said she wasn't up to having Thanksgiving but she called a bit ago and thought maybe we should do it. The issue is that our daughter-in-law is not at all careful about where she goes and hates wearing a mask ... I'm really afraid of her bringing the virus with her to Thanksgiving. On the flip side, there's no way I would do a family gathering without inviting her... So ... we pretty much decided we won't do Thanksgiving as a family after all - it is safest that way.

      7 days ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      Grief over loss takes some time to work through.

      7 days ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      I was just thinking that, BuckeyeShelby, and then I saw your post. Great minds and all that... Thank you for the post. How are *you* doing? How is the wound?

      We're fine...managing to keep busy. We will have a quiet Thanksgiving - which is fine with us. I'm looking forward to hunkering down on the couch and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (I understand there will be some variation of a parade this year??) and the National Dog Show (again, modified).

      7 days ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      I think we are dealing with shock and grief right now. Hard to carry on knowing we're without Greg's always cheery outlook, sense of humor and inspiring photos and sayings. It will take some time . On the positive side, glad you are doing so much better Buckeye!

      7 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Hey Bug. Smaller everytime I change the dressing. And there is far less drainage. When the wound nurse discharged me, she was hopeful I could dump the dressing altogether maybe Thanksgiving. Thanks for checking up on me

      7 days ago
    • kaki54's Avatar
      kaki54

      I miss Greg! Doing ok. Trying to figure out how to survive on loss of income from Covid.

      7 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      I just woke up (too early) and was thinking the same thing about how we are all missing Greg. I came here to see if there was any word from anyone and I see we are all on the same page. We miss Greg, and po18guy is right - it takes a while to process and work through it. I think this thanksgiving we could all acknowledge being thankful for having known him. What a gift he brought us with his love and encouragement.

      7 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      I believe it's best that I leave my comments to myself.
      In case anyone want to know> I'm more than okay .

      6 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      Glad to see y’all on the site. I agree it’s different without Greg, but we still need each other. Pauline, your comments are still welcome here, please post whatever you need to. I support all of us being caring of each other here. I’m doing fine, just scanxiety about the next scan on Dec 2nd. Our family is not doing a whole family feast this year, there’s 30 of us. Each group is doing their own at home. Hopefully next year will be normal again! Well wishes to you all!

      6 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Teachertina You wouldn't understand

      6 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @PaulineJ, I think your comments are welcome here. I think most of us would understand, if given the opportunity. We certainly won't understand what we don't know. And yes, we all want to know if you are okay- much as we all want to know that all of us are okay. Please contribute as you see fit.
      If everyone could just try to be kind, I think that would go a long way in having people contribute.

      6 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Thanks, BuckeyeShelby.

      We here are okay. I ventured by subway into Manhattan on Tuesday to go to dentist. Hope to now avoid public transportation until spring.

      BuckeyeShelby, I’m glad that your wound is diminishing.

      MarcieB, how’re you feeling?

      LWC, we never do much for Thanksgiving, so this year isn’t different for us.

      PaulineJ, good to hear that you’re doing okay.

      kaki54, I hope things improve.

      I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving, even if it’s a quiet and private one. Stay safe!

      6 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      PaulineJ, I might understand or someone else here could be helpful too. I care about you and hope you will be able to find some comfort here. We are all going through some trying times right now and can share our common issues. We don’t all have to agree on everything, but we do have a group of great cancer patients and survivors that are here for you. You’re part of this group. Best wishes to you!

      6 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @Teachertina, I think you have a very valid point. Yes, it is very different without Greg's continuous posts to keep the dialogue open and to keep us all thinking and caring. I did not know him as well as many of you did. However, I strongly believe he would want to us carry on as a community and continue to be there for each other. It is hard to lose the leader, and I imagine we all feel a little lost still.
      Along with the loss of Greg, I think many of us have lost our desire to express an opinion about much of anything. Politics and COVID have shut us down, where we have begun to feel testy and angry and scared and... well the list goes on.
      This site was, and still is, a safe zone to discuss our concerns. Greg did a great job of keeping the politics out, and I think we have all done a phenomenal job of self-policing (Yes, I said "policing." Yikes). Perhaps self-regulating is a better way to express it. We have maintained the integrity of the site and I think we are all doing a pretty good job of checking in on each other and keeping up.
      We all come from different places in life. Whether our experiences are geographical, physical, age related, diagnosis related or otherwise- we all have something to contribute to the recipe of the success of this site.
      I am so thankful for all of you.

      6 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      legaljen1969 Like I said>In case anyone want to know> I'm more than okay.No worries when you're in Christ.And I know what's happening/going on.Can't wait to go Home.The kingdom here is not mine.I think you ,may understand a little legaljen1969

      6 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      "The only real peace" From a family in Fiji..one of my favorite song

      https://www.facebook.com/laisa.meo/videos/136806020090977

      6 days ago
    • faithfully58's Avatar
      faithfully58

      Just thought I would drop in and say I'm doing ok!I have my days!Some are good some are hard...Our house is full of things Greg built so lots of memories I do have.It's hard without my precious husband of 40 years and friend \boyfriend for 51 years!I got him home after being in the hospital for 23 days.He got to see family and friends before he passed.Got to love on our Bella and Journey.He got to sit and sleep in his recliner one last time! We had a wonderful service for him.He was buried in a beautiful barn wood casket we picked! He is buried on the same road we live on.So anytime I leave or come home I can stop and see him or talk to him.I've seen all your comments but not been on to say thank you all.Sometimes it's to overwhelming for me to read..This site meant the world to Greg as well as all of you.He done a wonderful job with it.As well as being a Hero Of Hope he took such pride in going out and speaking! So I will leave you with things Greg lived his life by.He always,always found humor in all situations. Something he got from his Dad.No matter how bad it was he would always say something to make me laugh :) And his favorite saying Tough times never last but tough people do!! And live your life not your cancer.. I will pop in ever now and then :) Much love to you all.Always,always be kind..

      6 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      Dear Donna, thank you for your update. I’m so glad that Greg got to go home before he passed.

      As you know, we all miss Greg a lot. We’re so thankful for this site that he built and that has brought together so many cancer survivors and their loved ones. Greg will always be in our hearts, and those who find WhatNext in the future will learn about him.

      I can imagine how hard it is for you to have lost your Greg. I hope his love for you helps.

      Hugs.

      6 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      So good to hear from you Donna. I think we all want to carry on with this site for each other. We just have to figure out how to do it without Greg. We all miss him too. We will keep trying to make it great again, just need some time. Your happy memories of Greg will help you through your difficult journey, that too will take some time. Stay in touch and take care of yourself. Hugs!

      6 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Just caught you comment Donna.So glad to hear from you. He's really missed here also I'm lost for words.

      6 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Oh Donna, thank you so much for updating us on how you're doing. I'm sure some days are harder than others. But it sounds like you are doing pretty good. I'm so glad for that. And thank you for sharing Greg with us. And I'm glad he shared you as well.

      6 days ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      So good to hear from you, Donna, and know that you're doing OK. Thank you for graciously sharing your Greg with all of us. I miss him but nothing like I'm sure you do.and my thoughts are with you.

      6 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Donna,Wow! You and your husband are alike.I never got so many likes tonight like I use to get from Greg.lol!

      6 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      So happy to see your note, Donna! As you are aware, we miss Greg a lot - I can only imagine how much you miss him and how many memories you see every single day. I smiled when I read that you guys found a barn wood casket - is there anything more appropriate than that?

      We'll look forward to seeing you pop in now and then!

      6 days ago
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      I'm thankful for the day I found this site. I have medical procedure that went fine but left me with two legs that don't work much anymore and a purple toe and nobody can stop figure out why. It's depressing as many of you have felt during your cancer Journeys. your concern for each other is so touching and so needed in these crazy times.

      Donna, so good to hear from you know about Greg's being able to be home. Take couldn't care of yourself now.

      This site is truly filled with cyber angels.

      6 days ago
    • Kp2018's Avatar
      Kp2018

      Donna, thank you so much reaching out to us. It gave me comfort to learn that Greg was able to go home and be with family and friends before he passed. In your time of loss and sorrow, you've managed to ease our sadness. Thank you.

      5 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      Donna, thank you for stopping in to say hello and let us know how you are doing. I think the barn wood casket was as appropriate as it gets for Greg. That man definitely had a love of building and tinkering with things. I think of you often, and figured you might stop in when you could find the time or when it didn't all seem like too much.
      Greg will always be the super hero leader, the man with the plan and good words for all. I hope that we may all find a way to move forward with this site to honor Greg and keep our focus moving.

      5 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      legaljen1969 You sure have a fantastic gift.You're a great speaker/writer and know exactly what to say and how to say it.Witch I would never have.I guess I was hurt and rejected too much in life.My life hasn't been easy whatsoever Don't want sympathy,but never had support except one man that heard my life (more or less that I could remember)Ended saying"You're an amazing woman,"from a crisis center in Jan of 2019 when we were saying goodbye.
      I appreciate you very much....legaljen1969

      5 days ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Donna, thank you so much for the update. I am grateful that Greg got to come home and see family and friends and his furry friends. There are no rule books for learning how to live without a loved one. Each of us finds what is right for us. Best wishes in finding peace of mind and comfort.

      4 days ago
    • andreacha's Avatar
      andreacha

      Donna, like the others I appreciate you joining us for a few. I know you miss Greg terribly and I'm sorry that there is no way to take that hurt away from you. You were the best partner any man could ask for and Greg never hesitated to let us know that. We are all at a loss on the site and I pray we can salvage it for Greg. I know he would want us to. Please take good care of yourself and pop in whenever you feel like it. We will always love to hear from you.

      4 days ago
    • KB2013's Avatar
      KB2013

      Well, I had two separate surgeries back to back over the past 2 days. Dr. said I must have been living in terrible pain for some time (local doc doesn’t believe in pain meds) and I was nearing a sepsis crisis. I’m XXX. My bp was dangerously high. I would like to find real help for serious pain mgmt so I don’t have to wait for crisis to put me in hospital.
      If anyone needs answers re: bowel or bladder surgery, let me know and I’ll share my experiences thus far (lifetime gut pt with surgical interventions and urological with interventions) What upset me while in hospital was having to share bathroom with male pt who peed with the seat down! Take care peeps.

      3 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      Oh my goodness BP2013, that sounds awful! I hate to hear of such a terrible experience. Sounds like your local doctor isn’t willing to manage your pain. I hope you can find a new doctor somewhere close by. I fired a doctor that almost got me killed. Remember that they work for YOU! The hospital situation was unacceptable also. I hope you are doing better soon. I’m also happy you found us here at WhatNext. You’ll find lots of support here. Let us know how you are doing. Wishing you well!

      3 days ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      KB2013, sorry about getting name wrong!

      3 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      I want to respond to several responses.
      @Pauline, I have always loved writing. It has always been one of my passions, and when I finally settle down and get my heart and soul in the right place- the words come a little more easily. I have heard from someone else on the site that you are an amazing woman with a very battle tested back story. I cannot recall who told me, but if you ever care to share with me- write on my wall and I will give you an email address.
      @LivingWithCancer- I know it puts you in a quandary wanting to have family together for a holiday but knowing the DIL is not too careful. I am sure she understands if you keep it small, especially this year. Maybe you all can do a Zoom session or something similar and share some part of your Thanksgiving virtually. My neighbor tested positive a couple of weeks ago but has since tested negative three times so I think she is past it. My husband and I have been tested, even though we have been asymptomic. With my father having heart issues and being 80 years old, I wasn't leaving anything to chance. I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving holiday.
      @KB- how frustrating that your "roommate" was an inconsiderate slob. I am pretty shocked they had people set up two to a room. I guess they were pressed for bed space? I would have been so upset to have to share with someone who wasn't very hygienic . Yuck.
      Many good thoughts for speedy healing (relatively speedy) and for you to find a doctor who is more willing to manage your pain. So many doctors are walking such a fine line these days- so afraid to lose their license for overprescribing medication- becoming known as a "pill doctor." That fear is so great that they undertreat the people who really need help. If he or she is not comfortable, he/she needs to confer with other members of your care team and let one be the "gateway" for your pain. They really need a pain management specialist, perhaps. Sounds like the potential sepsis situation was getting pretty dire. There is NO reason you should have to wait for a crisis to put you in the hospital. You definitely need a pain specialist.
      @Teachertina- glad you fired the doctor who almost got you killed,
      @andreacha- I think we have all done pretty well keeping each other supported since Greg's loss. I do not believe the site needs to be "salvaged." I don't really think it has come apart. We have all done pretty well keeping up and keeping things moving forward in a way that is honoring to Greg. That's my perception, at least. Maybe others see it differently.

      3 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      @legaljen1969 I almost didn't want to respond,but I have a habit of not letting others hang more or less.I'm done explaining don't take it personal.But I thank you .

      3 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      KB2013, I’m so sorry you are suffering, and I hope you get the proper pain management you need. That “local doctor” needs some empathy-injections ASAP (if only). Let HIM see how it is to live with terrible (or any) pain, and I bet he’ll become a “believer” at the first twinge.

      3 days ago
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      KB2013,
      I had a procedure in October that is left me unable to walk any distance. At that point it is painful so I kind of know what you're going through. My only hope is going to a bunch of different doctors to find out why have to keep advocating for yourself. I'm not going to give in and you don't either ok?

      3 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      I was in the hospital 3 times over the summer, then 3 weeks in skilled nursing. Didn't have major stupid-surgeonitis. Just minor. He sent me home with a drain, wound vac and I live alone. Hence that 3rd hospital visit and vacay in skilled nursing. KB, are you still in the hospital or have you been sprung? Regardless, hope you feel better.

      3 days ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      I too have been dealing with long term pain issues. It is frustrating when you cannot get a timely appointment, when you finally do it's much talk, little action and when I finally got something going my insurance denied the procedure. I do not wish suffering on anyone but I think doctors (AND INSURANCE DECISION MAKERS) would be far more empathetic if they actually got to experience some of this stuff for themselves. KB and Lorie, I commiserate and hope you are able to find relief.

      3 days ago
    • KB2013's Avatar
      KB2013

      Buckeye, I got sprung, yes but, no pain relief at home. I am glad that doctor didn’t ignore my symptoms as I had no idea how sick I was. I only go to that hospital as a cancer patient but now I learned I was on the cusp of sepsis and the local doc had not ordered intervention despite lab results showing infection. Like you, I live alone and it can get scary. I’m glad you are doing better and hope you recover nicely. Glad they at least allowed skilled nursing to provide proper after care.

      3 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @BuckeyeShelby and @KB2013- I cannot imagine how scary and frustrating it must be to have to undergo things when you live alone. Sometimes we rely on another set of eyes or someone else's judgment- especially when we are not feeling well. We seem to need someone else to confirm we aren't completely losing it and the symptoms and pain we feel are all too real.

      I am glad both of you have been sprung from the hospital and inpatient care.

      Best wishes for continued event free recovery for you both.

      3 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @Pauline- I wasn't requesting or expecting an explanation or an answer. Obviously you know this, but you are under no obligation to answer or explain anything to me. I was merely offering to be a sounding board if you ever need someone to talk to or you would like to discuss anything further or privately off the board. No expectations dear, just an offer (and a sincere one at that).

      3 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      I know .It was just a general answer from me.Nothing personal to you personally.I have a bad habit of explaining things on circumstance and not a individual.I guess it's a problem since others take it otherwise.I wish I knew how to say things like you.LOL!

      2 days ago

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