• this is sad "" i have no one with me for all i`ll be going though but my 76 yr old dad """ :(

    Asked by beckyleu on Tuesday, February 19, 2013

    this is sad "" i have no one with me for all i`ll be going though but my 76 yr old dad """ :(

    this is sad "" i have no one with me for all i`ll be going though but my 76 yr old dad """ :(

    17 Answers from the Community

    17 answers
    • SpunkyS's Avatar

      Reach out to your treatment center to see if they have volunteers and other survivors who can give you support. This is too un-fun to go alone. We at WhatNext are here for you too.

      over 4 years ago
    • Donna1943's Avatar

      At least you have your Dad. Wish my Mom was here. I could talk with her every day. :)

      over 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I went through my treatment with no immediate family at all. I was lucky to have friends that helped me, but friends are not the same as a parent or sibling.
      Reach out to your friends, neighbors, support groups. You'd be surprised at how helpful people will be, even people you barely know, when they find out you have cancer.
      The WhatNext community has been super supportive fro me as well.

      over 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      Beckyleu, I can understand how your situation might not look like an ideal situation, but you have a some online support here, and although your dad is up in age, he has the benefit of wisdom and patience; and those who have survived the pitfalls of life do so because they know the path of life's journey so well. What he brings to the table has value beyond worth. Anyone can help you with the physical side effects of your treatment, but he will shape your frame of mind because he understands the trials and tribulations of a life worth fighting for and as his daughter, he will be there with to guide you through the roughest seas. Don't underestimate his value. He will be the best medicine for you because he has a vested interest in your well being. I am an oncology nurse and am happy to help by answering any questions you might have but even with my years of experience, I know all too well that your biggest weapon in your battle is that 76 year old tried and tested weapon in your corner, and I would take his wisdom over any other weapon in my arsenal as I prepare for battle. Sometimes it is the oldest weapons that cut the deepest. Best of luck to you, Carm RN.

      over 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Hugs hugs hugs. I'm with Spunky, see if your treatment center can help you find volunteers and survivors to help support you. We are here for you as well. maybe your local high school, "Y" churches, etc can help you find people to take you to appointments, visit, etc.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      Oh my.... does your father love and care about you? Not a silly question. My mother told me once that had abortion been legal when she found out I was coming... she'd have had one..... My father was an abusive alcoholic... reason for mother's comment.. I'm the one who trapped her and I was not welcomed. At 37 it dawned on me that when the Bible says "God loves you as a father".... It means the love I have unconditionally for my children.... WOW... it hit me like a warm wave of love that surrounded me... a thought entered my mind as I told Him I loved Him.. "I do love you too!" Now believe that God created you and He did so with a purpose When I was told I had Stage IV Ovarian Cancer... I literally reached out my hand skyward and silently asked Him to take my hand and lead me where He wanted me to go. He took my hand 7 years ago and has led me to seven years of being cancer free. Ask a friend to go with you, but know that you are not alone and He loves you with all His Heart, He will be there for you!

      over 4 years ago
    • catherinemarr's Avatar

      BLESS YOU,I understand your dismay,everyone is right there is support for you here and in your community! Also,some professional advice givers,pyschologists,etc can really help. Some even specialize in cancer patients, like us.MANY HUGS Catherine

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      My sister and by best friend in this world was dx with advance stage rare cervical cancer in 2001 during 9/11 at MSK. I then spent the next 7 years helping, reading and fighting for treatments for her. She passed 4/10/08 and I though I would die from grief. I miss her every day. My mom is dx 1/10 with advance stage cancer. I care for her by myself..she is 2 hours away. passes 5/10 from a stroke. My second closest relative my Auntie on my husbands side is dx with ALS 1/11 and passes 1/12..I see her almost every week and it kills me to see her suffer. I am DX on 2/26/12 IIIB Chemo/Radiation/surgery/chemo..finish treatment end of Nov 12.have not been sick with a cold in 8 yrs.or any predisposition.

      Prior to treatment I made a board that sits on the wall in our bedroom that i can see from bed. Its all of the pictures of my family and friends who have gone before me. As I lay there weak from treatment I looked at all of them along with pictures of jesus. Its what got me through the treatment.
      Yes, my husband took me to treatment but the loss of my sister , mother and Auntie has been more than I ever thought I could stand..but you know what.. They were all with me..I saw jesus take my hand and tell me its going to be o.k. no matter what happenes. No matter what its going to be o.k. Reach out to the community , your church, ACS and you will find people ready to help you..God is good. Have no fear.

      over 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      xxx equalls J---s

      over 4 years ago
    • LauraJo's Avatar

      My mom was descending into Alzheimer's disease when I was diagnosed, and my father was unable to assist me because he never had to do anything for himself ever. We never told her about my cancer, because she wouldn't be able to process it. It broke my heart that when she needed me most, I wasn't able to be with her, and when I needed her, she wasn't able to help me. My husband, sons, other family, friends and church folks were all with me & very very helpful & supportive, but it was a friend, not one of my closest then, (but she sure is now!) who sat with me at the hospital all day on my very worst day, made me a blanket, and helped with my ostomy bag. What I am trying to say, is that you may find support from an unexpected direction... and may end up better off. I don't know what I would do now without Sue in my life. Don't close yourself off to offers of help, because you are trying to be strong. And if your dad is able to help you, let him. If my kids were diagnosed, I would spend my last breath to care for them - that is what parents do.

      over 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      I am going through my journey alone as well, but mostly by choice. This may be the kick you need to get out and meet people. There must be a support group in your area that you can join and even if you only get to one meeting a month, its a start. Do you attend a church (this might be the time if you are inclined). Speak to the people at your treatment center. If you are able, volunteer for a local charity. There is no need to be lonely in today's world if you just look around. And be pleased your dad is there for you. Not all are so lucky.

      over 4 years ago
    • Nomadicme's Avatar

      I too had my dad during treatment, my mom still works. Maybe you're referring to the lack of a life companion and kids? Many of us are single, but it's better than being an abused spouse or some other ugly scenario. Plus, many single people lead rich satisfying lives, and learn to make deep meaningful relationships outside thekinship of immediate family/blood relations. The cancer community is very supportive, you can find great friends and great support there.

      over 4 years ago
    • Jodi's Avatar

      I am sorry you are sad about going thru this with no one but your dad. I did not have any immediate family with me either. What helped me feel not so alone was texting, texting and more texting. I used Facebook and email to keep in touch. I sent out weekly updates on how my week went. It helped me to feel not so alone and it helped others understand what I was going through. The people at the radiation facility and the cancer center treated me like family. You have all of us on WN too. We are here.

      over 4 years ago
    • RobbieFlores' Avatar

      I might not have all the answers or even the right ones but I'm here if you need to talk or vent. :)

      over 4 years ago
    • SantaMarie's Avatar

      God will be with you at all times. You are never alone. He will never leave your side. Whenever I go through anything serious in my life, I actually envision God right besides me holding my hand, and I get through whatever it is I was terrified about. Just reach out, he will never disappoint you!

      over 4 years ago
    • AlizaMLS's Avatar

      Dear Beckleu,

      I see that someone else already asked one of the questions I was going to ask you and that is whether you belong to a religious community? If not, this might be a good time to join one. It's not being hypocritical to ask for divine help under these circumstances at any point or if you're an atheist or agnostic, to check out The Ethical Culture Society or The Unitarian Church. Pastoral and congregational support (depending on how active the congregation is in such things) can be very helpful and can range from lifts for treatments to prepared meals to visits, etc.

      Other ideas include contacting your treatment center, of course, but also the ACS and CancerCare to see if they can assist. I know CancerCare offers counseling which sounds like it would give you someone else to open up to besides your Dad, who's a terrific ally and the rest of us here on this forum.

      This site also has a list of "personalized resources and useful content" listed in purple in the lower right corner. Perhaps if you click on it, you may be able to get a referral to something helpful.

      By the way, you might want to browse Amazon for some good books - some for fun to distract you and some about cancer to help get you through. I believe there's one called "Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips" by Kriss Carr and Sherryl Crow. I have it-haven't gotten to it yet, but it sounds like fun. You need fun!! I'm a good person to refer people to books. I'm a retired Librarian and also a trained Medical Librarian...;)

      Wishing you the best of luck, inner peace, joy, fun and serenity on your journey. Share with others - especially on this forum!!...;)

      Warmest wishes,

      over 4 years ago
    • alivenwell's Avatar

      It just occurred to me that the words you wrote are poetic. How ironic. It should become a song.

      There are many places where support can be found including here. Cancer is definitely an emotional shock when it his home. Look into your local American Cancer Society and see if they can provide help or resources for you like transportation, emotional support, a buddy system or whatever else helps you.

      Keep posting here. Love the poem.

      over 4 years ago

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