• KarenG_WN's Avatar

    What advice would you give someone who is newly diagnosed with cancer?

    Asked by KarenG_WN on Monday, November 7, 2011

    What advice would you give someone who is newly diagnosed with cancer?

    12 Answers from the Community

    12 answers
    • CarolLHRN's Avatar

      They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it takes a team to beat cancer. Once you accept you have cancer and have a journey in front of you, it's time to assemble your team. The team isn't just doctors and nurses, but also family and friends, and even strangers. There are so many aspects of the journey ahead that you can never prepare for. Accepting help and gathering a support system is critical. It also helps to know you are not alone in the journey.

      Emotional health is so important and often ignored by many providers. Make sure you have someone to talk with and don't be afraid of all the emotions you will experience from fear and sadness to laughter and joy and everything in between. To have the strength to move through the journey, your mind has to be strong too.

      almost 5 years ago
    • cranburymom's Avatar

      first, I will tell her to be very selfish - need to put yourself first. Then tell her to download laundry of things that in her head now to me. It is perfectly OK to do so. Once it's done, I encourage to let go all the negative thoughts, acts, things. I also just diagnosed, so my comment here may not come with much foresights, but, I wish I had this person then.
      Oh, yes one more important thing...she got to join this community!! ;-)

      almost 5 years ago
    • emtp12's Avatar

      Take control, this is your life and you control what is done to you. Ask questions. challenge answers, and research what you are told. 2nd and 3rd opinions are good choices. Keep your family close, thank well wishers, trust in God, and deal with the emotions as they come along.

      almost 5 years ago
    • grams2jc's Avatar

      I say it is ok to freak out, it is ok to be scared, and it is ok to be angry. You also have to do everything you can to make educated decisions and do what is right for you. Don't 2nd guess yourself. Do the best you can with what you have and what you know.

      AND, give yourself a break. So what if your house isn't perfect, the cupboard is bare, or you don't have clean underwear, you can worry about all of that later. Don't be afraid to accept help, if people don't really want to help they shouldn't offer, I personally didn't go to Wal-Mart for months and my husband and I survived, so what if he bought the wrong brand of toiletpaper.

      It isn't any fun, you never wanted to do it, but hang in there. So far, for me, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and things are looking up. Hopefully, the fear and insecurity will continue to ease as I continue to have clear scans and am feeling better.

      almost 5 years ago
    • danellsar's Avatar

      Remember that you are still alive and your family needs you. Be selfish with your energy level and with doing things that are not totally necessary, but hoard what you do have to make time for your close friends and family. It's so easy to fall into depression and to be overwhelmed by the finality of the disease, but right now you are still here and you need to treasure that time!

      Now, if only my husband would listen and take this advice!

      almost 5 years ago
    • kimjx6's Avatar

      My advice is to allow yourself to freak out and cry once in a while. But give yourself a certain time of day to do it. Allow it to own a place in your life, give it it's own freedom and then put it away and focus on your goals. Take care of your body...eat well, get the rest you need when you need and by all means RELy on the kindness of others. No one knows what to do with you. They try to help and sometimes it seems overwhelming but the relief you experience by just saying "yes" even if it's not in your nature (it's not in mine) and just allowing and letting go of it all. Sharing it with others is a way of healing. You need to get the dis-ease out of your body. One way I've personally managed UNBELIEVABLY WELL is to take up Reiki. It's an amazing complementary therapy to my chemo/surgery/etc. and it's done wonders for my spirit, my soul, my perspective and most of all my health. Before it I was a mess. Hospitalizations for malnutrition, couldn't get my head on straight. Then i started accepting the energy work of reiki and my life totally changed. I 'm able to see the forest for the trees now.

      I started a blog that i would love to share on this site. I'm in the process of working that out, details i'm trying to get through with regard to posting. If anyone would like to read it you can post comments, or not, become a follower. The address is


      I do hope this helps some people out there. It's helped me tremendously and that's what this page is all about.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Indyeastside's Avatar

      First realize you are not alone. There are many of us in the same boat. Secondly cancer does suck but in most cases it is definitely beatable-so gear up for a fight and keep positive.

      Push the worries aside aqnd focus on each day as a gift-smell some roses, then just keep living you life.

      My family was funny, when they first learned I had cancer it was like my wake. Relatives come from all over to pay respects --now thats its been a few years--not so much. So life gets back to semi-normal--but you do change. Some good-some not so good. So watch the poor me syndrome-and finish the race.

      almost 5 years ago
    • flyglo's Avatar

      Doctors first something was wrong 2002 because my white blood cells were off. At the time a was worried about aids but was cleared. No aids but no answers either. It took ten years for them to discover the cancer. I always felt some thing was wrong plus everyone keep saying a spot was growing on my head. It was the size of a pencil point but now the size of a fifty cent piece. If I could go back to my past I would have took that spot more seriously. I would tell anyone that that shouldn't count on anyone but there self. I know that sounds depressing but my experience has taught me that people either don't want to think about it or just don't care. Even my wife of 17 years doesn't show any concern. I don't know if she is afraid so she doesn't say anything. I have learned that this is going to be a one on one fight between me and cancer. If I could I would rather have my family jump in the fight if it looks like I will lost but in the end its just me so I have been doing a few push ups hoping to get stronger for the battle ahead. I would tell the person to be ready for anything. I am losing my sight and at times my will. I am not a weak person but I do cry. It makes me feel better to get that stuff out even if the hurt feelings and worrying thoughts will come back. I am sorry if my post aren't up beat but know its the truth. I am simply sharing my experience and yours can and will be different. Some of you have a great support group at home I do not.

      almost 5 years ago
    • RebeccaLynn25's Avatar

      Don't be afraid to cry because you need to release it. Keep a positive attitude because there's nothing you can do to change it, but you can help yourself by staying positive. I was diagnosed 2 weeks before I turned 30 and I was completely shocked. I'm healthy, young, athletic, I just didn't even consider it a possibility. I didn't do any research because I didn't want anything negative getting in my head that would slow down my healing. All I knew is that I wasn't going to be one of those people that just laid down and died because a dr. told me he "thought" I only had so much time to live. I told the dr. that I wanted her to take care of the cancer, and I'd take care of me. Surround yourself with good positive people that support you. If there aren't any, go find some. You play a huge part in your healing. Tell yourself you're going to be ok until you believe it. I dealt with losing my hair by praying, so when it was time to cut it, I was ok and I didn't cry. This should change your life for the better! It should change your perspective on life and make you realize what's really important. Only look at the positives. You can get through this because it happened for a reason.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Afterglow's Avatar

      I agree completely with the comments above about maintaining a positive attitude and getting all the support you can. Regarding support, I'd also suggest a support group of people with the same type of cancer as the shared experiences can be both emotionally beneficial and informative. The other suggestion I would make is to research your cancer. Find a few reliable references and read them so you know both what you can expect and what your options are. Your doctor should be able to make some suggestions here. While symptoms and side effects will differ for everyone at least you'll have some idea of what to anticipate. By researching the various treatment options you'll be better able to understand and discuss with your medical providers what is best for you. Remember, you must be your own advocate and make sure you are being treated with respect and concern and being given all options and information. If one of your support people can assist as an advocate, even better. By the way, I found crying very helpful, too. Don't be afraid to really let go if you need to.

      almost 5 years ago
    • joyce508's Avatar

      Keep a positive attitude and try to know where to find help if /when you need it before you start treatments. Seek support from friends,family,church.work...If you love alone and have no one person to help you It can be hard keeping track of everything. Get a binder with pockets to hold papers all papers from doctors,meds .and bills put in pockets as you get them use a different pocket for each month.Keep a simple record or diary of what you are going through and when you will find this very useful as the months go on Because of side effects you may not be up to or able to do things,so planning ahead a little can help a lot.I wish I had found this web site 9 months ago when I first found out I had cancer.I live in a small coal mining town so there are no support groups near,This site has already helped me.But just be yourself don;t be afraid to cry,or tell others your scared ask for help and never give up Have Faith in a higher power

      almost 5 years ago
    • Karen4's Avatar

      Put on your Warrior Armor every day and vow to fight every day!! Depend on your support systems-the people who love you. I found that it was harder on them, though, than it was on me. I just decided it was just another thing I had to deal with and just did it! Try to keep things as normal as possible. That was advice given to me by my medical team, and that kept me sane. Drove my mom NUTS because she loved me so much and wanted to help so much, but I had to explain to her that continuing to do as many things that were normal for me as I possibly could was good therapy for me and helped me forget about the treatment and the disease. Like the comment above, have faith in a higher power. If it hadn't been for God and my faith, I wouldn't be here now. (and there is always this place with others like you who have faced that fear and can also hold your hand through it all.)

      almost 5 years ago

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