• What do you do when you feel absolutley helpless, helping with side effects?

    Asked by chargerdeb on Monday, May 6, 2013

    What do you do when you feel absolutley helpless, helping with side effects?

    100 outside, shivering inside....I hate not being able to help

    4 Answers from the Community

    4 answers
    • JMS's Avatar

      Dear chargerdeb - I've gone over your previous posts to be sure I understand your perspective as caregiver. Speaking from the optic of the patient, I think there isn't a tremendous amount you can do that will alleviate the side effects other than being there and being willing to listen (let the patient express how he feels - and even complain about how he feels) and try to identify things that may need to be referred to a doctor or nurse (such as sharp or long-lasting discomfort or pain). I'm not sure which specific side-effects are happening now, but if you could provide a bit more information on these, I could at least let you know if I had the same or similar reactions and what I did to help overcome (or at least mitigate) them. Regards, JMS

      over 4 years ago
    • fastdog's Avatar

      You don't say what the side effects are, but if it's nausea, I would most certainly call your husband's oncologist and describe what's going on. I was sooooo sick at first, but we kept at it and they finally found an anti-nausea regimen that worked for me. If you can be more specific about what he is going through, more than likely someone on this site has had the same thing and can offer advice. Also, keep in mind the old saying, "this too shall pass," because it will.

      over 4 years ago
    • chargerdeb's Avatar

      Thanks JMS & fastdog, there is nothing specific going on right now, and in the whole scheme of it all he is handlleing it all well. I think last night we both just wanted it all to go away, it can wear you down. Today is a new & better day

      over 4 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      Don't know your specifics but, as a former caregiver and as a former patient, you simply breathe and you breathe again, more deeply, and you put a smile on your face with the hope that it will reach two hearts.

      It always pays to seek the lighter side of any subject or feeling. Pain is good. It means you are alive. Hydration is good. It eases pain, even ever so slightly. Breathing is necessary, the more deeply, the better. Listening is good. Soothing touch is good.

      For everything else you seek a doctor, you use your own gut instinct, and you ask questions of others and you continually research for more ideas until the problem is solved.

      Stay strong. You are helping. You are there.

      over 4 years ago

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