• What do you get tired of hearing from others who do not have cancer?

    Asked by Lirasgirl33 on Wednesday, December 19, 2012

    What do you get tired of hearing from others who do not have cancer?

    15 Answers from the Community

    15 answers
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      Oh, so many things....
      "You're in remission now, so why do you still need to go the doctor and stuff?"
      "Well, at least you had an easy cancer." - ummm, really, cancer is easy????
      "Can I see your boobs?"
      "I am so glad I didn't have to go through all that."
      and while I was going through chemo - "How are you feeling?" - umm, how do you think???

      almost 4 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      "Well, I have this chronic condition. That's worse than cancer." Uh huh. Sorry you have that condition, but you are comparing apples to oranges. And I agree w/Nancebeth on the "how are you feeling/doing?" thing. Usually it's from coworkers, so I answer w/a smile. Some of them I swear I'm gonna go into detail about constipation or something just to shut them up. I know...they are only concerned. But do you have to ask EVERY time I see you?

      almost 4 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Nancebeth, your last one really hit home for me. I couldn't stand it when I was laying in bed, sick as XXX from the chemo and someone ask...."how are you feeling". Well, I'm about as close to death as one can be without actually dying...other than that...I'm good. I finally told my wife that she had to stop asking me that because the answer would be the same. I had one person tell me if I think having cancer is tough I should try having a kid.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Debbie's Avatar

      Drives me crazy when people start telling me about someone else they know (their cousin's next door neighbor's sister's 2nd husband's great aunt) who had it MUCH worse than me and wasn't' t half as sick as I "seem" to be....

      almost 4 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      I hate it when people tell me how good I look when I don't feel good.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SpunkyS's Avatar

      "How are you doing?" and "Oh you look good". I will bring it up if I want you to know, for now, please let me have some cancer free moments. 'k. thanks.

      almost 4 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Same as most of those already mentioned, but here is another that really surprised me. For some reason, everybody seems to be fascinated with my post chemo hair.....it's down right creepy. Other than being shorter and the waves a bit more prominent because it is shorter, my hair really isn't much different from the way it has always been. But I swear, every time I go to work or a social function people want to tough my head and run their fingers through my hair. Just down right weird I tell ya.

      almost 4 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar

      I had two people tell me, "Well, at least you have a job." (They were both unemployed at the time.) I have been unemployed and I realize it is stressful on many levels, but it doesn't compare to a serious medical condition like cancer. Unemployed people can get new jobs. I can't get a new body.

      Also, I had one person tell me I looked "sexy" and another said I looked "beautiful." Seriously? A completely bald, eyebrow-less, eyelash-less, pale, anemic, middle-aged woman with a missing body part, a swollen arm, and a constantly runny and/or bloody nose is neither sexy or beautiful.

      almost 4 years ago
    • ConnieB's Avatar

      My biggest irritation is: "You're still tired all the time?" (just months after chemo) and or "you can't use chemo brain as an excuse unless you are going through chemo."

      almost 4 years ago
    • Mel's Avatar

      I found out people as much as they want to do not understand what you go through with Cancer.
      Pretty much same as everyone else.
      How are you feeling/doing? You look really good, I don't know what I would do if I had cancer, or lost my hair. Why still have to see doctors or get blood, So what's the giddy up with the hat?, And I notice more that peopel crab about the little dumbest things that don't really mean squat!. :)

      almost 4 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar

      Oh, yeah, one more: People who complain about having a "bad hair day" to me.

      Try having a "no hair year" and then get back to me on the nuisances of having hair.

      almost 4 years ago
    • KRBaum's Avatar

      So here are my top most memorable:
      "You know, you should consider telling people you have skin cancer as opposed to saying you have cancer. When you say you have cancer, it is more scary. But skin cancer is really not as a bad." (coming from someone who has never had cancer.....I'd like to sign her up for one of my surgeries, or for my chemotherapy treatments - you know, since its not a big deal)
      "So sorry to hear you have cancer. How's life otherwise?"
      "Wow, that sucks."
      "Oh, yea, my grandmother died of that."
      "Oh I know just how you feel, I had a Urinary Tract Infection."
      "Have you tried any alternative medicines? Your doctors are only going to give you a bunch of chemicals." (like I need another person who doesn't know me and ISN'T a doctor giving me unsolicited medical advice)
      "You know, I think cancer is just like getting a divorce." (oh really? Have you had cancer? No? Ok, please stop.)
      "My sister-in-law had it much worse than you."

      almost 4 years ago
    • carolchristao's Avatar

      My mother keeps asking what side effects I have "today" - every day. I keep telling her that it will be long months feeling exactly the same and she keeps asking the same question.

      The 2 worst things I heard I heard only once each:

      1. Why did you shave your hair? It was so pretty! - what do we say? I said because I have cancer and the crazy girl then "no, you're kidding, now tell my, why did you shave?". Oh my.

      2. I was on Facebook celebrating that PET-CT showed that cancer is shrinking and I told a friend that whenever I can, I'll dye my new hair in pink. Then another "friend" entered the conversation, and he said "but your hair will grow differently from what it was". Good or what?

      almost 4 years ago
    • rosey's Avatar

      it's so refreshing to read all your posts and realize i'm not alone in how i feel at times, thanks for taking the time to share what'nexters :) i'm sort of new here and may not post but i'm always lurking and reading and so appreciative :)

      almost 4 years ago
    • Bell's Avatar

      I get so tired of people just telling me that (It's going to be fine, you are strong and I know you'll be fine!) Or when one day you actually feel like getting up and getting dressed, and the first comment you hear is (well, I see your doing good with your treatments, I cant tell you even have cancer) REALLY? What are we supposed to look like, zombies? And one more thing I HATE..is when you tell someone how you feel, and the first thing they say is ( I know how you feel)! What the heck? If you never been trough what Im going through, then you obviously don't know how I feel. And every cancer patient has different experiences, so I don't like it when people compare one persons experiences to another, it just don't seem fair to me

      almost 3 years ago

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