• what have people done to help you get through the hardship of living with cancer?

    Asked by JoLoaretti on Thursday, October 11, 2012

    what have people done to help you get through the hardship of living with cancer?

    what has been the most helpful? what has lifted you up, when you were at the bottom? what would be helpful for our friends & family to know to be able to help us during our struggle? we have had meals prepared, people watching our kid for us, my friends have been giving me thier Khols cash, just so I can remember what is is like to wear something new, the hugs & facebook check ins, the gas cards & rides when we need them, the love & support I have learned how to say YES to, Thank goodness, I wouldnot have survived without it

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Sounds like you have a pretty awesome support group which is really important when dealing with this nasty disease. At first, saying yes is hard. It really is but you learn to accept the help when it's offered. With my daughter, any opportunity she had to LEAVE the house, we were in favor of. My daughter is now 9 (8 during my treatment) I know it was rough for her to be in the house with me being as sick as I was. She was always my # 1 concern so when she could leave the house to do something fun and not worry about me...I always appreciated. Cancer is not easy to fight so anything that can help make this process easier is awesome. So happy you have the supports group you have. That says a lot....good luck with your treatment!!

      about 4 years ago
    • teddyfuzz's Avatar

      When I was in the hospital for neutropenia (a condition where your white blood cells tank due to chemo) three of my friends came by on a work night to see me. They all have families so I know it wasn't easy for them to find the time but they did. You really get to see a different side of people when you're sick - a kinder, more caring side. I still get warm fuzzies when I think back at all the people who cared enough to send a card, stop by, cook, etc. It renewed my faith in humanity:)

      about 4 years ago
    • Maeve's Avatar

      Two of my girlfriends just let me be me. I have been very tired, and we went out, and I sat why they went around the yarn store, and let me participate by sitting and watching. They let me be a part of the day without getting all dramatic. We had a ball.
      Another friend sent me her favorite book.. I just feel so supported and surrounded in love. My husband has been sooo practical dealing with the insurance company and all. Helps me to deal with those friends who cannot deal with their own fears. And helps me to deal with my young adult kids whom I am most concerned about.. Thank you for this question. Helps too.

      about 4 years ago
    • Kimi1017's Avatar

      All my family and friends have sent messages, visited, checked up on me. I never realized a "how are you?" Could be so meaningful. People I didn't know who were survivors suddenly got in touch with me and gave me tips and advice on how to get through ny treatments. My colleague at work, who is also my best friend, did not treat me any differently and yet, was always ready with a shoulder to cry on then would pick me up and tell me to go on. Our cancer society helped so much by giving me free meds...I can go on and on...One of the most important blessings cancer has given me is that I know how much others care and love me...even people who were not close to me. Love and friendship are much, much stronger than this wicked disease!!!

      about 4 years ago
    • sewfun928's Avatar

      I was so lucky to have a wonderful support group. I had meals, cards, prayers books, gifts and more gifts. Rides to chemo, people to sit at home and watch me sleep after chemo. My husband and sons always watching over me...some times I had a little too much but I was grateful for everything. One of my favorite gifts was new PJ's to lay around in and the other one was homemade thank you notes. I try to make all of my cards but I could have never kept up with all the thank yous I needed to write. I also got some beautiful prayer books. I think any kindness big or small, a smile or a hug they were all wonderful.

      about 4 years ago
    • liznparadise's Avatar

      What I apprecia messages of prayers and good thoughts. I do believe they help.

      about 4 years ago
    • Reel's Avatar

      When my thyroid cancer returned and became RAI avid and incurable, I needed help. My wife and I joined a Thyca support group in Greensboro, NC. They were incredible. A million questions were answered and great friendships were made. I now live much closer to another group, but am willing to travel to get the great support from the right group!

      about 4 years ago
    • Richardc's Avatar

      My family was always there for me and my wife. If she wasn't able to stay with me, someone else was present to act as my spokesperson. Before I became unable to communicate, frequent visits from family, friends and church members helped make this bearable for my spouse. I told her when I was diagnosed, that I knew it would be tougher on her than it would be on me. Whether it was bringing meals, walking and caring for our pets or helping with chores at the house, every little bit helped.

      For two weeks, I was unable to communicate. Meningitis caused by MRSA and other complications left her in a position of having to make all of the decisions. I was glad when my recovery began that she resumed a weekly schedule of going out to dinner with my brother and his wife ( a tradition we started about 2 years ago).
      The low point in my recovery was when the doctors told me I was terminal and there was nothing they could do to treat the infection in my collar bone (caused by radiation). Fortunately, that wasn't the final answer. We were referred to a orthopedic oncologist who offered hope.

      Little things meant a lot. Whether it was the neighbor who tilled our garden so we could have fresh vegetables or the friend who installed a tall toilet so I could sit down ( and get back up again). The church members who donated time and helped my spouse complete insurance documents to file claims. Also - when they came and gave her some relief from sitting by my side. Just taking her to lunch meant a lot.

      It is anticipating and helping with the little things - that make a difference. I know there is no way I can repay their acts of kindness - only pay it forward.

      about 4 years ago
    • nancibee's Avatar

      In all honesty, it is most helpful if family, friends and yes complete strangers treat me if I am normal and don't make my cancer and treatment the primary topic of conversation. I know they are just being "concerned" but it is difficult for me to lead a normal life that doesn't center around cancer if I have to discuss it multiple times a day. And I am not sure why complete strangers feel they have the right to know details. I don't ask about their hemorrhoids or constipation.

      about 4 years ago
    • packerbacker's Avatar

      It sounds like you have some people who really care. It sucks that we have to go through this, though. It does offer some comfort knowing we're not alone. My husband tells me he loves me everyday. My Mom calls to "check-in" and to chat about nothing, and visits to get my mind off things. One friend sends me a bouquet of flowers or an inspirational saying on facebook every morning and evening, which brings a smile to my face. The warm blankets at chemo bring me comfort. The "little things" are the things that stick out in my mind. Many hugs your way!

      about 4 years ago
    • still_fighting's Avatar

      For me I didn't realize how many people helped/help me deal. My boys help me walk sometimes, or carry my purse (at the risk of being made fun of lol) they reach and pick up things I couldn't. My little sister and her family take really good care of us and the help from American
      Cancer Society with rides to and from the cancer center, the Leukemia Society helped financially with reimbursement of some of my travel costs and my doctors and nurses pointed me in the right direction when I needed information or a place to go to ask questions. I have 5 brothers and not all of them 'acknowledge' my leukemia and have pretty much told me that they have a really hard time dealing with it but I can understand and its ok. I'd rather be treated like nothing is wrong than to have them look at me as though I was a leper or something. I go about my life with leukemia in the background but I don't let it rule me. For so long I let it control me and where and how I went about my daily life and I'm sorry I let it take so much of my time. But now that I'm more aware how important just living every day the best that I can is, it brings a certain amount of peace to me. God bless you and everyone in your support group.

      about 4 years ago
    • prettyinpurple's Avatar

      Probably the most helpful through the absolute worst of it, as in the initial chemotherapy treatment and long stay in the hospital, was the prayer support from my friends, family and church family, because when I was too sick or depressed to pray for myself they stepped in and prayed me through it. My church also had a breakfast fundraiser for us to help us with our long-term medical bills, as I was scheduled to have a bone marrow transplant following the initial chemo, which helped tremendously, because I still haven't been able to go back to work. Also during the initial time I was in the hospital it was the meals people made, the gas cards they gave so my husband could drive downtown every day to see me, and the help cleaning the house and taking care of my dog that mean so much to me. After the transplant it was just the continuing prayer support and my friends being willing to drive me downtown for doctor's appointments, and take me out for lunch and spend time with me that made such a difference, because it was still rough for the year following the transplant while being on all the medication, etc. I can't thank God enough for all the people he put in my life to help me through this!

      about 4 years ago
    • Taagbu's Avatar

      I have a great support group of family, friends and co-workers. Over the summer when I had to have treatment every week my sister-in-law got together a schedule for other to take me. I called them my "Cancierge" (after the Big C show). I was told all I needed to do was kick cancer's butt and they would figure out the rest. It has really help take the burden off my husband, who thinks he has to do Everything for me. I am never without many genuine offers to take me to doctor visits or treatment.
      At work my co-workers have showered me with food and cash to help with gas and parking costs. I couldn't ask for a more supportive group! I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

      almost 4 years ago

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