Sending the two of you hugs and prayers. Jill is very emotionally fragile (and I suspect you are too), and needs time to integrate everything. Speak with her surgeon to find out what, and plan for the next steps in her treatment. you may also want to get a 2nd opinion. i am a strong believer that a another pair of eyes can only help you put together the best plan possible. It also helped me feel more comfortable with my treatment plan when I was told it was exactly what she would do.
You also may want to consider getting a referral to a therapist that specializes in treating cancer patients and their caregivers. I see one as needed, and find it very helpful in sorting through my feelings of anger and depression, and moving on. I saw mine for a again for 12 sessions after my breast cancer metastasized in May of last year. I now get a booster session every 4 weeks.
Wishing both of you the best of luck, please keep us posted on Jill's progress. And remember to take care of yourself.