• What now?

    Asked by lunastwilight on Friday, April 12, 2013

    What now?

    I need to talk to someone to talk to about what do I do now after cancer now that I am different and unable to do things I used to do.

    11 Answers from the Community

    11 answers
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      Like what kinds of things? For example, I can't lift heavy weights anymore, however I do yoga. When I first finished chemo, I was unable to do Spinning but I could walk, so I walked. I have been regaining my strength and endurance and I just do as much as I can. It gets better. It just takes time.

      over 3 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      The body will heal, slowly probably, but it will heal. Also, as Nancebeth asked, what exactly are you unable to do now that you want/need to do? Ask your docs about physical therapy to help you get back in shape. They love that question. Makes them look good when we get back to normal.

      over 3 years ago
    • Vjp2012's Avatar

      What can't you do? I know I sometimes feel like I cannot do some things, like go to a fancy restaurant, go dancing, or such. But then I realize that i van do all of those things. And, that it isn't the cancer holding me back, it is me. My uncomfortableness wearing my wig or not wanting to just wear a scarf or hat and be seen as different from everyone else. So, I force myself to get out of the house and do the things I think I can't do anymore. Is that how you feel? Or is it physical limitations? If physical, then what Nancebeth says is true, take it slow, but don't stop doing what you used to like to do.

      over 3 years ago
    • DianaL's Avatar

      You can do almost anything except lift weights! When your counts come back you will start to feel better every day! It is up to you. My husband and I did most every thing I wanted, shopping may have meant one store instead of the whole mall! I wore two different wigs and was asked in a restaurant if I would give a lady the name of my hairdresser because she wanted a haircut like mine--when I told her I was wearing a wig until mine grew back she gave me a hug. She was a blessing to meet! Cancer and its after effects have been a blessing to me in so many ways! I have met and still meet other wonderful cancer survivors at the strangest places! Nancebeth is spot on with her suggestions! Good luck and Hugs!

      over 3 years ago
    • JennyMiller's Avatar

      No, you are not the same person but that is not a bad thing. Most likely, you are a stronger person with a better appreciation of life. As for the things that you used to do -- you miss them because you feel deprived due to your limitations. However, if you can focus on those things that you are able to do -- enjoy each moment -- and keep that positive attitude, you may find that you are capable of much more than you realized. Don't ever give up -- keep moving forward!! I wish you the best.

      over 3 years ago
    • mcowett's Avatar

      I get what you are saying. That feeling hit me pretty hard a few weeks ago and I am still climbing out it. We are different and "The things I can't do now" are hard to explain. In your sentence above it would be nice if you could bold and underling I USED TO DO and add the work LIKE. Example; yard work. I have been thinking about selling my house (I live alone) because I can't keep up with it. I am afraid to start mopping my floor because of the lymphedema. My mental clarity has still not come back. I found a stack of bills that I apparently hid from myself. So in short we have to figure out new ways to get things done. We have to discover and CREATE . . . hate to say it; a new normal. The old ways are gone. I'd love to talk about this more with you. Therapy with a counselor who specializes in post cancer issues is also good. : )))

      over 3 years ago
    • jad's Avatar

      Check with ACS, your local cancer center, hospital where you were treated etc. So many places offer counseling. It might help you to see things in a different light and get you over the "hump". There is a resources tab on the menu bar at this site. I've never looked at it, but you could try that for a start. So many are reaching out to offer help. Make them feel good - and ask for it!

      over 3 years ago
    • Grandy's Avatar

      Changes are so hard. Keep taking small steps and keep talking about it. And make sure you are communicating with your primary if things get overwhelming for you for too long.

      over 3 years ago
    • Hppyldy's Avatar

      First thing that came to my mind is that you are not different, you are new, and given new life. Take your time, treat yourself well. What do you want to do?? Was it something you did before?? Is it something new? Look, love yourself, you have been given new life, smile at yourself, you will see, it is still you. Give you a hug. It's ok, you are not alone and your have many sisters sending positive energy and blessings.

      over 3 years ago
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      I can't play golf very well now...but then, I couldn't play golf very well BEFORE b/c, either!

      over 3 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar

      Hi. My oncologist referred me to a counselor who specializes in cancer issues. The service is free. The counselor has been *very* helpful. Maybe that is something you'd like to check out.

      over 3 years ago

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