• what now?

    Asked by wabasaur on Saturday, March 9, 2013

    what now?

    My Mom (a PA resident) has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The cancer resides in her neck, lungs, liver and ovaries. She has yet to start chemo/radiation.
    She is broke. Government insurance (?) has been handling her rides and medical expenses. She has been unemployed for some time. She currently has a case going for social security disability. She is being evicted from her residence.
    I live on Long Island in NY. I do not want my Mom to go through this alone. I do not know what this treatment entails and what kind of care she will need. I would like her to come and stay with me here in NY. I cannot financially support her or afford to take time off to care for her. Am I responsible for her expenses if she comes here? Who should I talk to? What should I do?

    5 Answers from the Community

    5 answers
    • AlizaMLS's Avatar


      I left this out - Social Security payments will be higher when Mom gets approved, in NY, than in a small town in Pa. (that's what I meant to say). This is what happens when you answer when you're tired...;)


      almost 6 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      It would be great if she can come and live with you and you can take her to ( MSK) Memorial Sloan Kettering for treatment.

      I am sure she is very frightened right now and she needs her family to come together for her. Perhpas you can talk with a social worker at MSK and see if they can help you get started. Its most likely very hard for her to make any decisions right now.

      My heart is so warmed that you will help her. This is everything.

      You are not responsible for her expenses unless she is declared by law to be your dependent.

      Everyone is diffrent as to the care that they need because this disease is also very diffrent for everyone. Try and take this a day at a time. Because all of this can be overwhelming for both you and your Mom.

      Couple things: Get her housing and treatment situated and started. These two things are the priority. Everyhting else will fall into place.

      Until she is mutation tested..which MSK will do you cannot tell what type of treatment will be advised. For instance is she has an EGFR mutation her treatment might be Tarceva as a first line which for most people is very well tolerated. People work and carry on very well. And can live for years on this treatment.

      So one step at a time..Housing and treatment..

      Best of luck.

      almost 6 years ago
    • jan_h's Avatar

      If there are social workers where your mother is getting treated, they might be able to help with some of your questions. You could also contact the American Cancer Society (1-800-227-2345). Maybe they can provide you with some assistance or lead you to somebody who can answer your questions. I have cancer, live alone in PA, and my treatment center is 25-30 miles away from my home, so transportation is an issue for me. The ACS has a Road to Recovery program in PA, where volunteers take cancer patients to and from treatments.

      almost 6 years ago

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