• what to say to a friend that spouse is dying

    Asked by friendsmatter on Saturday, October 12, 2019

    what to say to a friend that spouse is dying

    words to say that would be comforting to a friend who's spouse started hospice and is dying

    10 Answers from the Community

    10 answers
    • Created07's Avatar
      Created07

      I'm here

      about 1 month ago
    • Created07's Avatar
      Created07

      I'm here. I can't imagine how hard it is. I'm here.

      about 1 month ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      I’m so sorry you are having to go through all this. I am here if you need to talk. Can I mow your yard or bring you a meal? If you need an errand run, I’ll be glad to do it. As your friend, I want to do whatever I can to give you the time you need with her/him. Please don’t be afraid to ask. We all may need some help someday.

      about 1 month ago
    • alivenwell's Avatar
      alivenwell

      It would depend upon how receptive that person would be to any comfort. Sometimes simply being nearby is enough. Sometimes doing tasks is enough. Sometimes losing a loved one who has suffered a long time can be relieving. I would just be available for when (or if) the person losing a spouse would call me and provide my phone number.

      about 1 month ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      Don't wait to be asked. You know this person, I don't, but many people are too proud, too distracted, whatever to ask. Bring your friend some food, if you notice the lawn needs mowing or dishes are piling up just quietly do it. Most important, just be there. But if you sense they want to be alone be there from a distance. This is a hard one.

      about 1 month ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Be there. Say I'm sorry. Give hugs (if appropriate). Be there afterward too.

      about 1 month ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      This situation absolutely sucks, I've been there before. Last year we lost a sweetheart of a cousin and we sat with her husband for a couple of days knowing what was coming. She was related to us so it's a little different than your situation. But they know what is happening, they are expecting it to happen so sitting and talking with them about the spouse remembering the happy times is sometimes a comfort. Being there and letting them know that you are there helps, but you can also be proactive and do some things on your own, as others have said. Just do something helpful. Pick up the kids, take supper, go sit with her and let the spouse go catch up on some things.

      We are all sorry for your friend's situation, as you might guess, lots of us have had to go through this.

      about 1 month ago
    • Jayne's Avatar
      Jayne

      I agree....just a phone call, a thinking of you card, or a text really helps. I know towards the end, I wanted to be alone with my husband and lock the world out so it's a fine line between "being there" and being respectful. I think the friendship part becomes significant after his/her passing. It's such a hard and personal time but the fact that you cared enough to try to reach out will be so important to this person.

      about 1 month ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I say ... "I am so sorry. I don't know what to say or do, but i am here for you, no matter what you need. Please let me know how I can help."

      about 1 month ago
    • Kalee's Avatar
      Kalee

      I agree with Bengal....just do it....take them some food, ask if there are errands that they need to have run....mow the yard....whatever you can see...that needs to be done.

      24 days ago

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