• KarenG_WN's Avatar

    What type of help did you really need, but may have been too afraid to ask for?

    Asked by KarenG_WN on Wednesday, September 7, 2011

    What type of help did you really need, but may have been too afraid to ask for?

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • lovekitties' Avatar
      lovekitties

      Hi Moderator. For me it was financial help. I was/am without insurance. Was I afraid to ask for help? You bet. Fortunately when the hospital where I went for initial testing found out they said to see their financial assistance person. What a blessing that advice was. Sometimes we need to put fear and ego and embarassment aside and look at all the possibilities.

      about 6 years ago
    • MAGNUM1's Avatar
      MAGNUM1

      Emotional help! I have been battling cancer for 7 years now.

      I was emotionally devastated, the day I received the diagnosis.

      At that time, there was absolutely no attention given to the emotional, psychologically impact. Only the physical ones.

      Years later, during radiation treatments, I received options to address such needs. Never during the first 3 years.

      almost 6 years ago
    • danellsar's Avatar
      danellsar

      House cleaning. My kids are just not as helpful as I need, and the messy house stresses me out.

      Tons of stuff around my house keeps breaking. My husband has always been the one to either fix it or call someone. Now, I am having to ask friends to come and help or find someone to do it.

      Yard work. As husband got sicker and sicker, the yard got worse and worse. He kept refusing to let me hire a yard service. Finally, friends started stopping by with mowers and just doing it.

      Emotional help. My house is so quiet, it gives rise to all kinds of bad thoughts. Nothing is helping him, and I am trying to cope with EVERYTHING. My husband is getting sicker and sicker, and going down hill fast. NO ONE my age understands how this feels. Most of my friends who have been through cancer as a patient or caregiver are a lot older, and didn't have young kids. There are zero face to face support groups in my area, even though we're in a major city at a major research center.

      Planning for the future, whatever that is. When my husband is too sick to work, the whole family loses their health benefits because they come through him. It's a very complicated situation, but because it hasn't happened yet, no one can tell me where and how to get coverage, and how much it will cost, after he has to move to permanent disability (or after he loses his fight).

      almost 6 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      Oh my gosh - Danelisar - what a tough road..... I'm so sorry for your husband's cancer. Your situation sounds so difficult.

      The surprising one to me is food. I'm on a combo of drugs that makes it difficult to keep weight on, so FOOD is a big issue. Happily, I enjoy eating, and things still taste good. So, when people bring over food, that's great because then I eat more. I'm struggling to hold on to my "basement" weight... I didn't expect this problem because most women gain weight on chemo for breast cancer. At the same time, we are so weight obsessed in this country, that people tell me that I look great! (I did not have a weight issue before... but now I'm "thin" instead of just kind of thin) Like all the time they tell me this... Like it's a compliment, or something. It's not. So when a person actually pays attention and feeds me or brings me a treat... or even just asks about how that part is going... That's nice.

      almost 6 years ago
    • danellsar's Avatar
      danellsar

      Leepenn- My husband is taking a medication called megestrol. It's a breast cancer drug, but it also works as an appetite stimulant. It might be worth looking into it and see if it can help you with weight issues.

      almost 6 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      Good thought - I'm in a clinical trial, and they have strict rules about added meds. Happily, I'm sticking my weight... Just takes work. I just have to remind myself to eat more frequently than I seem to 'naturally' want to. For example, I tell myself when it is time for a mid morning snack that it is time for the snack... I weigh myself every day... I've been stable for three weeks now. Next week, tho, is the double chemotherapy week (taxol plus carbo), and I'll probably have to really focus on eating at the right times... I'm still a healthy weight... Just light ... But not yet skinny. I hope to remain this way through to the end of the treatment.

      almost 6 years ago
    • Karen4's Avatar
      Karen4

      Help with the emotional issues-especially after treatment. The year of cancer treatment changed me! I am not the same person I was a year and a half ago. I've also experienced some depression-something about NOT being in treatment when I was at MD Anderson so much for so long was unsettling somehow. I have always been one who believed I could manage my own emotions, but I finally realized I was a tangled up mess and needed help making sense of it all and putting the new pieces logically into place.

      almost 6 years ago
    • cranburymom's Avatar
      cranburymom

      Oh, moderator, this is a good question.
      There are so many things - but I can't ask because they are so trivial things. And those needs a constant so I won't ask.
      More serious one is something I do not want to hear any answer - how much $ I worth for?

      I would love to get spiritual help - so I can feel I am living now, and not for future.

      Right now, I ask for a month-worth sleep - peacful one.
      And yes, Danellsar, feeling your pain - I pray for you and your family.

      almost 6 years ago

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