• What was your experiences during this scary time of unknowing what is next?

    Asked by corey on Wednesday, January 9, 2013

    What was your experiences during this scary time of unknowing what is next?

    9 Answers from the Community

    9 answers
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      I think is a matter of perception. When some people think "what's next" they really mean "what's the end result". Often that leaves them continually frustrated because they will never get the answer they want. The end result for all of us is death. On the opposite in of that spectrum is "what's next" in the literal sense, meaning the next breath, the next moment, the next day, the next tangible planned event.

      Having spent the better part of my professional life as a project planner, I tend to instinctively manage my own life and well being in the same way. I have short, mid, and long range plans as well as contingency plans. I mostly focus on what's next in the literal sense, such as when I finish writing this post, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Not much scary about that. I certainly have longer range plans, but I see them as preferred intentions, not absolutes. Nothing scary about that either. So I guess my bottom line as far as your question goes, is that I don't find not knowing what is next scary. In fact I would find always knowing what's next to be pretty boring.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      I hate waiting for results, that is the hardest time for me. I like to be proactive and take action ASAP, but not knowing what the scans, pathology, tests, etc show there is nothing I can do but wait, and try not to wander into worst case, and never going to happen in a million years scenarios

      almost 4 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      Waiting was the worst part of this for me. I found out I had cancer on a friday evening. 3 weeks later, I received my official diagnosis. In so many words, my Oncologist said "we got this". He explained that it would be a rough road but assured me he would take care of the cancer. Not all cancer has the same prognosis but at least once you find out what you're dealing with, you can go into fight mode and figure out what you need to do to fight it.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Like everything else with cancer, its different for every person. Because I have always been super healthy, the diagnosis was a mind blower. Until I got some concrete answers (stage, scan results, prognosis, etc.), I was a mess. But once those came in, I was able to set my mind to beating it. I expect my test results, scans etc. to show no bad news and so far (knock wood) they haven't. I see no reason to change this outlook. Doesn't mean I'm not constantly aware of the possibility, but as long as I keep vigilant about living right, I'm not going to worry.....much.

      Right now, there is nothing you can do to change the results when they come in, you can only affect the future. Take stock of what you think you might want to change, write it down, let it sit for a day or two and then try to objectively consider which are really important changes to make, which are reasonable to achieve and which are flights of fancy. Most important, don't make any decisions on the fly. Patience and objectivity are your best friends right now even if they are the probably the hardest to see. And whatever you do, don't try and figure out why this happened to you or if you did something wrong (you couldn't undo it even if you could pinpoint it). There is no hard and fast rule for why we get cancer. It just happens to some people. And there are lots of us. You're in good company.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      I had so many inconclusive tests and it seemed like I was always waiting for results until I received my official diagnosis on a Friday afternoon. I am a very impatient person anyway, so waiting for results always bothers me.
      Waiting for "what's next" is not too bad because I don't really feel like I am waiting for that. Whatever will happen next will happen and I will deal with it then.

      almost 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I agree that I have gotten to the point of I don't worry over the next test, I think about it, but actual worrying is gone. Now I think like some of you have said, I will deal with it when, or if, it happens. You have to train your mind to think that way though.

      almost 4 years ago
    • seesun87's Avatar

      I feel the unknown is the worst. I am being treated for Colon Cancer, but it's not 100% positive that is where it is. My colonoscopy turned out good, Pet did not show anything, expect spot in the area between lungs. They did a biospy of a swollen lymphnode in my neck and the results were poorly differentiated carcinoma. the tumor makers suggest metastatic gastrointestinal tract carcinoma. The colon being the most common primary site that show this pattern. I am going to a major cancer center next week for a second opinion. I love my Oncologist and trust her, but would love to have a more definitive answer as to what type and what stage cancer I have. She is treating with a wide range of extensive chemo every two weeks and feels we will beat this thing with a few months. Any thoughts or information on poorly differentiated cancers? Thanks to everyone on this site, it has helped me so much.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar

      For me, there wasn't a lot of "unknown" time. But, a lot of people here report the same fears. Waiting and not knowing is very difficult.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Peroll's Avatar

      From the point I learned I had cancer to the first meeting with my surgeon I was devestated and was thinking I would be dead in six months. The surgeon walked in to the exam room and the first thing he said was "I am going to cure you". Afther that and a long discussion where he explained in detail what he was qoing to do and all of the other stuff I was extreemly relieved and felt like I had a new lease on life. While he didn't "cure" me and has operated on me a couple of more times, he did save my life in a way. As a famous singer said "the waiting is the hardest part". While the waiting gets easier it is never easy. Those of us with cancer will always have the pleasure of waiting for the next scan or blood test result. you will get used to it and things will get better. the best thingf to do is keep busy wiothy your life and try not to think too much abour it. Good Luck and let us know how it goes.

      almost 4 years ago

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