• When you were at your worst, at the bottom of your journey, what did/do you need the most?

    Asked by GregP_WN on Friday, February 22, 2019

    When you were at your worst, at the bottom of your journey, what did/do you need the most?

    If your best friend called you up on the absolute worst day that you could have and said: "I'm coming over, what can I bring you"? What would it be?

    18 Answers from the Community

    18 answers
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      A listening ear ,a warm hug, and oodles of support.

      about 1 month ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I have a friend who would pick me up for coffee. And listen to me without judging. I always felt better.

      about 1 month ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Decent and caring staff at the hospital after surgeries.
      I know this sounds rather whiny, but not all hospitals are full of cheerful and competent employees who treat their patients as people instead of numbers.
      Most of course are good, but the bad ones are spoilers!

      about 1 month ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Donna and I are always saying that our local hospital could learn a few lessons from the Nurses and Doctors at Vanderbilt. That place goes beyond the call of duty to take care of their patients. So, we know what you mean.

      about 1 month ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      when I was telling my oncologist about the death of my son, with tears in his eyes, he said, "I don't know what to say or do." And my response was, "There's nothing you can say or do to make it better ... but it means the world to know you care." I would guess the same would be true for cancer, though I haven't had dark days with my cancer.

      about 1 month ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      I needed conversation with God via prayer. Post transplant a short prayer was all I could muster some days.

      about 1 month ago
    • brizzjo's Avatar
      brizzjo

      I was in the hospital when I hit my lowest, I cried for days. Knowing I’ll never be cancer free, I thought about my granddaughter, 2 years old, how I wanted to see her grow up. I know I don’t have many years to live but I wanted to see the most I could of her life.

      about 1 month ago
    • BudBandit's Avatar
      BudBandit

      I guess I haven't hit my lowest yet..when I lay down and can't get back up,I'll be reading the scriptures if I can.

      about 1 month ago
    • BudBandit's Avatar
      BudBandit

      I just realized how much I take for granted,I have a wonderful girlfriend of 20 yrs.,who's by my side for every little need,we will be getting married march23 :) I have a brother that lives out of town that calls everyday, and other family members that call and check on me at least once a week..Everyday would be a bottom without them.

      about 1 month ago
    • merpreb's Avatar
      merpreb

      It depends on your journey

      about 1 month ago
    • brizzjo's Avatar
      brizzjo

      You’re so fortunate to have such loving family and friends. I’ve lost support from family and friends, as soon as they hear the word cancer they take off running. I’ve been ignored in stores, restaurants etc. No one wants to be near me because of my cancer

      about 1 month ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      brizzjo--- This happens more than you might think. It has happened to me and many others here on What's Next.
      Perhaps many uneducated and unenlightened people think that cancer is catching. Or perhaps they are just plain rude. Maybe they don't know what to say to you that would be comforting or helpful.
      What ever the reason, you will find out who's got your back, and who doesn't. On this site, we do!

      about 1 month ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Not just my cancer journey,but my whole 74 years.I'm beyond broken and my life as been burnth out.Nothing anyone can do to make me feel better or worst.

      30 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      @brizzjo, like @Molly72 says that happens more than we like to admit. I lost some friends, but boy did I gain some unexpected new ones. I have made some fabulous new friends - some who don't have cancer and some that do. I recently returned from a trip to Israel that I took with a friend I met because we both have stage 4 lung cancer. The new friends I have made are among the blessings that I attribute to my journey with cancer.

      My son turned away for a bit after he learned I had late-stage cancer. In his case, it was a matter of not being able to tolerate the thought of me dying. So, he reacted badly until he could come to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to die yesterday after all. Once he was able to work my illness out in his own mind, he came back, more loving than ever before.

      30 days ago
    • Kebohs' Avatar
      Kebohs

      I just wanted to be alone on bad days.Example: I wasn't in the mood for conversation from a certain friend that didn’t understand how Awful I felt. I had a fever and was weak. She made light of my radiation therapy. She took me for my radiation once and then wanted to go out for hot dogs right after, as if I could eat! I told her everything taste like metal and my mouth was sore.
      Her answer to that was “hot dogs are soft”. She didn’t listen. When you’re having a bad day and are feeling very sick and someone insists you snap out of it it makes you feel even worse. I don’t know if it’s their fear or selfishness but, that’s not the way to treat a person going through treatment. Needless to say I never let her take me to treatment again even though she kept asking to take me. She wasn’t what I needed. I needed to crawl under my blankets and sleep.

      29 days ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      When I was at my lowest, I needed spiritual support. I was totally thankful for the support of my congregation. The Assitant Pastor made home visits during my first cancer. During all my stays at my non-demonational hospital I had visits from the chaplian who notified my pastor that I was in the hospital.

      28 days ago
    • merpreb's Avatar
      merpreb

      When I'm at my lowest I also have the need to be alone, but my husband will only let me be this way for a little while, knowing that if I stay that way I'll just go deeper and deeper. He is my hero

      28 days ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      I found it so helpful when people would listen and try to fill a need without having to ask. I have a friend who was wonderful with that. She heard me say once I could never get warm. A day or two later a heated throw showed up at my front door. One time I was in the hospital. I missed my dogs so much I couldn’t sleep. She stopped by the hospital with a stuffed dog. It looked so real the nurse actually thought I snuck my dog in. So basically simple little things to fill a need and brighten my day made all the difference.

      21 days ago

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