• Will he see the weekend?

    Asked by Rpruitt717 on Saturday, November 3, 2012

    Will he see the weekend?

    My friend is dying quickly of lung cancer it seems. He is now on e strongest oxygen pump in Atlanta and still his oxygen levels are dropping quickly. He is afraid to die and doesn't want to go. He was down from the upper 80s to 79% oxygen this morning and he can't do anything but lay in bed on his side to help keep the good lung as stable as possible. I don't know what to do. I have cried so much. This is sudden and unexpected and I love him and I think he is in his last days. How long do most have or at what level do people go into a coma for oxygen? He can't use the cpap machine thing and he won't voluntarily go on a ventilator, so is he just going to die? I don't understand what is happening or how to prepare!! :(

    20 Answers from the Community

    20 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Is he on Hospice Care? If so, call them, the nurses there are good with being able to give you an idea of getting to the end.

      over 4 years ago
    • Rpruitt717's Avatar
      Rpruitt717

      He doesn't even have the ability to be moved at this point, he hasn't enough oxygen for it. They say no hospice is needed :(

      over 4 years ago
    • Rpruitt717's Avatar
      Rpruitt717

      Oxygen down to 73 now!!! Omg I am crying again!!! Why is this happening so fast??

      over 4 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar
      Harry

      What do the doctors tell you? Can they, or the nurses, offer help with pain?

      If appropriate, I would suggest prayer. Maybe a minister, priest, etc.?

      It doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do. If he has good doctors and they can do little, then you can offer support and comfort.

      My heart goes out to you and your friend. This is not an easy thing to do. 30 years ago I watched a brother die under similar circumstances. The room was filled with our family and all of us were helpless to do anything. So were the doctors.

      over 4 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Our hearts go out to you and your friend. It's impossible to tell what's happening with your friend from here. Only his doctors can say how far the cancer has affected his lungs, or how any other health conditions can affect his oxygen. There are so many possibilities. The good thing is he is in the right place, where the problem can be managed as well as science allows. You don't have to do anything except be a friend like you're already doing. The hard thing is to take a deep breath, and wait to see. If you are there, you could ask the nurse or respiratory therapist when they come in general questions about oxygen.

      over 4 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      I'm so sorry for you and for your friend. What a difficult difficult time.
      My heart goes out to you both.

      over 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Hello, I am an oncology/end of life nurse and although his SPo2 numbers are low please keep in kind that if you exert no energy, if you spend your time immobile, you do not need to have numbers in the high 90s. If the body is shutting down, it will sense the transition and only push oxygenated blood to the vital organs. Working with end of life patients I can tell you that the majority of patients do not go until they are ready and most go without fear. If you need an answer to your question as to be able to to tell how much time he has remaining, I would be glad to answer that privately as I do not think that answer is appropriate to others on this site. I will send you my private contact. Info. That subject deserves much dignity and discretion than is available here. Carm.

      over 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar
      Carol-Charlie

      PLEASE, go and sit with your friend. If he can talk without strainging too much, as why he is so terrified of dying. I know that God has led me through my life, sustaining me during hard times, carrying me through the cancer days, and NEVER letting go of my hand. I was 62 when diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer... given 6 months to live back in January of 2006. I asked him to guide me to where He wanted me to be.. He has led me to here, November 4, 2012 and I'm cancer free. Trust Him. If it's not death that scares him as much as punishment for past sins... PLEASE let him know that Jesus died for his sins. He paid the price for your friends sins 2000 + years ago. ALL your friend has to do is accept that Jesus did this for him. To KNOW and firmly believe this. There is nothing to fear from death - for we will be together with our loved ones in Heaven. I know this as sure as I know my own name. Please sit and hold his hand.. let our Lord take his other hand.. talk and share this marvalous gift of God's Grace and Foregivness. He said something like "Fear Not, for I am with you unto the end of the Earth" Share and be with him... God is a good and loving, forgiving God.

      over 4 years ago
    • acalltofaith's Avatar
      acalltofaith

      I will keep you and your friend in my prayers. I was given a small chance of surviving my cancer and almost gave up several times. It is normal to be afraid. I found my peace in renewing my faith. It took me almost ten years to talk about it, and I finally wrote the story in," A Call to Faith, the Journey of a Cancer Survivor." It may comfort you and your friend. I have given away thousands of copies and would be glad to send you one if you are interested. Just send me an email. Peace.

      Jay

      over 4 years ago
    • Schlegel's Avatar
      Schlegel

      This is for Jay. How do I get a copy of your book?

      over 4 years ago
    • WizardOfWesley's Avatar
      WizardOfWesley

      There is no preparation course...No one "Wants" to die...or "Go"....
      It is in G-d's Hands... Just be there for him... If you believe... Pray... if Not... G-d will still be there for him in his final moments anyway...
      Try and be as strong and supportive as you can... you sound like a very good friend...and when my time comes... I hope I have someone like you by my side...Sending Peaceful thoughts and positive energy to you and your friend... G-d's Grace... and everlasting Love.... Shalom... (Peace)... Amen...

      over 4 years ago
    • LuvinSis' Avatar
      LuvinSis

      Even if he's not religious, be there for him and let him know it's okay to let go. Sometimes death comes quickly, sometimes more slowly. As his body star and to experience organ shut down he faces the end. All he needs now is comforting presence of loved ones who gives him permission to let you and be at peace after all of his suffering.

      over 4 years ago
    • Anita's Avatar
      Anita

      My heart breaks for your pain and for your friend. I have been through this and its never easy. But prayer dose work.The Lord will never leave you, seek his peace and widsom as how to help your friend, Sounds lilke you are already being a great friend to him . He needs your comfort and strength.Please know you are both in my prayers

      over 4 years ago
    • Joachima's Avatar
      Joachima

      My heart goes out to you & I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you & your friend. When my mom was in the end stages of COPD, her oxygen levels decreased to the point where the only thing that could help her was to be intubated again, and she said no. I felt so helpless as there was nothing I could do for her. She was given meds to make her comfortable, and the only thing I could do was to hold her hand, pray, and even sing to her. Family was there, and our pastor came as well. I believe that sitting by your friend & holding his hand is comforting and the best thing you can do. I also found and continue to find great comfort in my faith, and could not possibly make it through life's journey without God in my life. I agree with others that have responded and do suggest that you call a pastor or chaplain as your friend may need help to conquer the fear of dying and to spiritually prepare for what lies ahead.

      over 4 years ago
    • Onoi11's Avatar
      Onoi11

      This is a difficult and profound time. Your friend is probably comforted by your presence. The warmth of a caring hand can be a source of peace and strength.

      over 4 years ago
    • Crash's Avatar
      Crash

      I had to watch my brother die of lung cancer. Hospice is wonderful, call them soon, morphine is a gift from God. I don't know where you are in the progression from diagnosis so I can't compare dates. It only took about two months for my brother to die. He had small cell lung cancer.

      over 4 years ago
    • Rpruitt717's Avatar
      Rpruitt717

      I have spent the last 36 hours by his side. We slept maybe 25 mins last night. We talked and talked and talked and laughed and cried....and about an hour ago he made peace and went to heaven. Thank you all so much. I am such a mess right now. :'(

      over 4 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar
      Harry

      You were there when he needed you. Nothing you could have done is more important than that. I hope you can now find peace for yourself. You deserve it.

      over 4 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      ; am very sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find peace in knowing you were there for your friend.

      over 4 years ago
    • BrownCounty's Avatar
      BrownCounty

      I think you being there, holding his hand was the absolute most comforting thing you could do. I lost my dad and younger sister to lc. It is the hardest most painful ever. Now I have the same. My love and thoughts for my other sisters, daughter and husband. Take time and heal, care for yourself now. You have earned it. God bless

      over 4 years ago

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