• Worried

    Asked by MissR on Thursday, April 11, 2013

    Worried

    Hello, I am not sure i am in the right place (it will not let me pick a diagnosis other than cervical) but lost my mom to melanoma a few months ago and I am terrified of this disease. I tanned a lot as a teenager. I had a mole biopsied done and came back "benign" but atypical and they need to take more skin to get clear margins. I am scared this is the beginning of a terrible journey that I saw my mom go through. I am not sure i am over reacting because I am still mourning but how do I not spend the rest of my life in fear? What's next? :-)

    10 Answers from the Community

    10 answers
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      I don't want to say you are over reacting but the skin cancer possibility you now face is one of the "easy" ones in that, if you are vigilant (dermatology scanning regularly) you will have no problems because you will get regular check ups and have any questionable areas removed.

      I'm very sorry for your loss but it does not need to relate to the same thing happening to you. Hugz.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      Don't live in fear but instead make sure to get your checkups done with the doctor. Keep a lookout on anything that looks out of the normal. There are many on this site who have had parents, grandparents, siblings with cancer. I'm sure they will give input on how to handle that fear and how to cope. My best wishes to you.

      almost 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      I lost my gradparents, parents and my sister at just 58 all to cancer. I tried to take the best care of myself and went to one of the top Internal medicine dr's I could find, did all my cancer screenings and still I was dx with advance stage LC.

      I suggest you look into genetic testing. Many of the large top name hospitals are going it and its paid by insurance. Then stay up to date on all your cancer screenings. And pray.

      almost 4 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar
      gwendolyn

      I am not an expert about melanoma but it seems to me If you are vigilant about examining yourself and getting regular screenings by medical professionals you should be able to nip anything in the bud before it becomes a problem.

      I watched my mother die a long and miserable death from multiple myeloma and other complications. I will reassure you that those end-of-life memories will become less acute but it will take time. You may want to consider grief counseling to help put your thoughts about the end of her life to rest so you spend more time remembering the happy times.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar
      Clyde

      Don't think of it as living in fear, but being cautious. Take control of the situation rather than it taking control of you. Get regular screenings from a dermo you trust, watch (not obsess over) any changes you notice on your skin and get used to seeing yourself naked in the mirror. Being vigilant is the best course of action on this one.

      I'm sorry for your loss.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Gabba's Avatar
      Gabba

      I am very sorry for your loss...a good dermatologist, visited every six months, will help you keep your anxiety in control...skin cancers, and there are others besides melanoma, when found early are curable. Vigilance, my dear.
      When I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost two years ago, I met with a nurse practitioner in the Breast Care Center who reviewed my family tree, both my parents died of colon cancer so I routinely got my colonoscopies...(always thought this would be "my cancer" when the time came so I wanted to find any polyps early)...when I told her I had four paternal uncles with melanoma she thought THAT warranted genetic testing for breast cancer, who knew??? I had the testing done and everything was negative, good news for me, my daughter and granddaughters!
      Be proactive, keep up with routine screenings, then try to enjoy life. Good luck and God bless!

      almost 4 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Here is the thing about cancer and mutations..There are many mutations that effect a number of cancers. Shows up as colon cancer in one family member, shows up as melanoma in another and so on. Tricky little devil.

      See what the genetic testing shows and go from there.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Vjp2012's Avatar
      Vjp2012

      I am so sorry. I don't know a lot firsthand about melanoma. But, I do know that you have to face your fears head on & make your mom proud by doing everything you can to beat it for your mom and all those who couldn't beat it. You can do it! Read the book, "Crazy Sexy Cancer," by Kris Carr, it will help you with promising stories & some laughs. Hugs!

      almost 4 years ago
    • MissR's Avatar
      MissR

      Thank you all for your responses, encouragement and advice. I am trying to remember I have not yet had a diagnosis but been told and the procedure tomorrow is preventative. It is so easy to let your imagination run with fear. It is empowering to hear I can have control of the situation and how I handle it and could be ok if I am vigilant. Thank you again. It is so nice to talk with this network.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Gabba's Avatar
      Gabba

      Please remember that you are not your mom but that her journey has shown you how to be proactive and undergo whatever you need to in order to stay cancer-free. The doctor will clean up your margins and that area will be OK...if you have concerns about anything, contact your dermatologist...they often say "I'll see you in 3-6 months" but don't wait if you are worried...the other thing to do is contact us...we are always here for you...Good luck and God bless!

      almost 4 years ago

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