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    Lorie wrote on abrub's wall

    I tried to post this on your question but for some reason I could not so I'm putting it here

    Don't think they were trying to be unsupportive. If they care about you and haven't been through anything themselves, I think it's only natural for them to say that.

    Ejourneys journal and support ideas are great suggestions for places to let you express yourself and have the discussions you are looking for. Lorie

    1 Comment
    • abrub's Avatar

      Thanks, Lorie. In the case of my SIL, she likes to control the conversation, and if it isn't going in her direction, she'll do what she can to stop it all together. This was her controlling me. Her SIL, who separately essentially did the same thing, has a problem recognizing that everything isn't coming up roses. I didn't take their responses personally; just found them aggravating.

      5 days ago
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    abrub asked a questionColorectal (Colon) Cancer

    What do you do about people who want to stop you from "thinking"?

    13 answers
    • cam32505's Avatar

      Most people want to think optimistically, so they don't want to hear about a recurrence. Until you have cancer, you will never truly understand the cancer patient's hopes, fears, thoughts, feelings, etc.

      6 days ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I say that kind of thing too, that when/if I have my 4th, I will deal with it then, or who knows what kind the next one will be. I certainly hope that I don't have another, but being realistic, the chances are better than average that I will. I'm OK in knowing that, I will just have to see if I'm OK with it if it happens.

      But, I get that too. "Don't say that"! And similar statements, if I were in their shoes, I would probably say that too, if I knew no more about the whole "cancer world" than the average person off the streets do.

      Our best to you @abrub, we hope you're doing OK.

      5 days ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      Relatives will really say the strangest things. My son refused to let me talk to one of my brothers when I was admitted through the emergency room with an obstructed bowel. He thought my brother would scare me to death. My family is constantly reminding me I am stage IV and also have had an aggressive cancer with a high reoccurrence. They never say "Don't think about it"

      5 days ago
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