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    acire78 asked a questionHodgkin Disease

    Help with supporting depressed boyfriend

    9 answers
    • leepenn's Avatar
      leepenn

      FIRST - if he is violent towards you or your children, LEAVE. cancer does not justify that kind of behavior. violence towards one's partner and/or children is simply never okay. he needs to get his head out of where the sun don't shine and grow the bleep up. yes - cancer sucks. but that behavior is absolutely dreadful.

      SECOND - consider getting some help. you clearly love him... so maybe the pair of you just need a bit of help in order to figure out how to be there for each other. cancer is bigger than just the person with the diagnosis when there are children involved, in my humble opinion... so, maybe there's a social worker or therapist you can speak with?

      THIRD - URGH - sometimes, people telling me to stay positive makes me feel like i cannot express how i'm feeling.... i wonder if he feels that way? we cannot be positive all the time. sometimes, we are just scared as bleep. sometimes, we need someone safe with whom we can talk about our fears. that person may or may not be you... but he needs someone like that...

      LASTLY - he might need to discuss this with his health care providers... if he is feeling extreme anxiety / depression... these things affect behavior and so on. my docs always told me, if there's ever a time to use meds to help deal with things... it's with a cancer diagnosis. i used xanax during treatment... i really struggled with anxiety...

      i don't know if any of that helps. i know so little about your situation outside of what you've posted... but, those are the things that jumped to mind....

      i hope you and he can simply find some peace and calm...
      i'm so sorry your family has to deal with this....

      almost 5 years ago
    • GGP's Avatar
      GGP

      As a person that was diagnosed for the 3rd time 4 years ago, I can appreciate the "getting mad at the world" syndrome. I went through that, and it was tough. It was right at Christmas time and everyone was all happy and enjoying life, and here I was about to go down for the third time. I had to work through it, took be a couple months to come around.

      Hope you both do better.

      almost 5 years ago
    • acire78's Avatar
      acire78

      Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to respond. He is beginning to feel better and that is definitely affecting his spirits. I have taken everyone's advice to heart and am trying my best not to take all of his reactions at face value. This is a very emotional time for him and your responses have helped me accept that.

      almost 5 years ago
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