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    alextsokli asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Why friends and relative street you like what's wrong with you?

    19 answers
    • debco148's Avatar
      debco148

      What I've found through all of this is that I've come away after 3 years of treatment, surgeries, etc for stage IIB ER+BC...lots of side effects, etc. that I have a strange new power over people. I decided that I was going to BAR BAD stuff from entering my space. So, negative people get very limited time from me. Sorry, but that actually means some of my family...just can't have it anymore! The protective shield.. I call it! And, guess what.. there is NO guilt anymore.. and this is from a nice Italian girl raised with guilt if you didn't do everything like a martyr for the family.
      I'm cordial and pleasant, but they get NONE of my quality time. So, then all their dumb comments and understanding about life, never affect me! Try it, it works. I still have side effects, but I decide to wake up every day, thank my higher power for another day with people that matter and the beautiful day ahead. I enjoy my days now. ... dancing, music, sunshine.. loving...all mean so much more now. But, what you will find strange about this "new power" we get is that it actually rubs off! If you eliminate spending time with those opinionated fools who will never have a clue no matter how nice you explain, you will surround yourself with more and more like-minded folks. Then...life becomes even more fun and fulfilling. I'm just grateful for this lesson!

      about 3 years ago
    • alextsokli's Avatar
      alextsokli

      I live with pain every day for 4 years now Zometa that I took for the bones gave me necrosis of the jaw lost most of my teeth had 7 operations one a week ago I take narcotics for pain and they think I have an addiction . Italians are like Greeks . I have a good friend when she calls to go out and I say no I have pain she says take your vitamin and I pick you up in an hour. We have fun together but then they say If you can do that why you can't do this and this. Greek families use quilt and it work for years when I stood up to them I lost the only brother I have not a phone call , he thinks I am well and I can take care of our parents. I did that for years no more now my family is my daughters and grand kids and when I feel good we do fun things together I do not care so much about the side effects and they are many I care that I am here

      about 3 years ago
    • fiddler's Avatar
      fiddler

      I went through this after a head injury - folks treated me the same. Then came cancer treatment and it started all over again. I call us "walking zombies" because we looks ok but inside we feel are not functioning 100% yet and "they", i.e., normals, don't get it.

      Here's what I do: gird my loins and say, "I am unable to do that just yet." If they give me the evil eye or roll their eyes or get impatient - maybe even yell at me - I just say, "Ah, you're frustrated with me. I'll process that when I am better able to. For now, I'm saying I can't do it."

      about 3 years ago
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    alextsokli shared an experience

    Oh No (Cancer has spread/Metastasized)

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    alextsokli shared an experience

    Procedure or Surgery (Breast Reconstruction (Flap))

  • alextsokli's Avatar

    alextsokli shared an experience

    Oh No (Cancer has spread/Metastasized)