In addition to the helpful replies above - we have had a lot of success negotiating with the hospital. I hope he goes back in for follow-up...keep us posted and know you guys are not alone.
AmyMed started followingalmost 5 years ago
Doctors strongly suspect my husband has colon cancer.
Maybe you can check into financial aid or a payment plan? He is probably frightened & won't admit it. I had colon cancer before I had breast cancer. Lucky for me it was early stage & I just needed a resection, no treatment. That could happen to him too! Besides, how much dies he think a funeral will cost!
Perhaps you could arrange an intervention with all the people he cares about in attendance. Cancer is a horrible way to die. He would end up needin a care eventually anyway when he starts suffering so much, did he consider this? My prayers are with your family. Thank goodness it us a fairly slow growing cancer, he might be ok.
My father had emergency surgery last year for an abscess in the rectal area. The doctors strongly suggested a follow up colonoscopy but he refused. For over a year plus he laid on the sofa and refused to get treatment or follow up care. He ate very little and exercised even less. After the family tried everything to get him to a doctor (eat, exercise, anything) he ended up Thanksgiving week going to the ER because he lost so much weight and was so weak he could not get off the toilet.
Needless to say he was diagnosed with terminal rectal cancer, a very aggressive form of Andocarcinoma. Inoperable due the infusion of bloodsupply going through the huge tumor and how it grew around the organs and sacrum. So he spent 3 weeks in Medical ICU (have not seen the bills for that yet). He is too weak for pallitive chemo/radiation. He is spending several weeks now in a rehab center which is good for him socially seeing others in weakened states of illness. He will enter at home hospice care when he is ready most likely at the beginning of the new year.
He won't openly admit it but we all think fear drove him to ignore the weight loss and weakness and to not do follow up care. Now he has anywhere from a few weeks to a few months at best to live. As a family we remind ourselves constantly that was the past, we must focus on the present. As we watched him go from almost 200 pounds to 107 at ER checkin. So the family has had to deal with various stages of anger at wondering why did he not get help when he would have had a chance at fighting this cancer. But we all also know we did what we could to get him to a doctor and that his stubborn refusal was from fear and possibly hoping "it" all would go away.
Early detection would have saved money, and given him a greater quality of life over this past year and a half, but people are people and fear a crazy master if it takes hold of a person use to being in charge and strong. My prayers are with you and yours that he may get tested,
. Maybe the doctors can give him some anti-anxiety meds if he decides to get tested? Tell him it is much better to endure testing, chemo and surgery then to suddenly hear that he will be planning his own funeral in a few months? Or to go through the horrific final stages of untreated rectal cancer and the emotional costs it will place on the surviving family. Who cares about the money, I would rather have my father healthy and fighting then have the memory of the past year of him geting sicker without seeking treatment. (Thank God for great treatment team and support that are doing everything to make his pain minimal and helping my father to face the reality of where he is in a gentle manner.)