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    Ashera wrote on BlessedNannie's wall

    Oh BlessedNannie...I'm so sorry for the wrecking ball that is swinging in your life. Truly, I know much of what your experience...and there are often days that are not good, so I search for single moments. Collectively, those good moments add up in my brain. A favorite of mine is to step outside on some ground, not concrete...close my eyes and listen to sounds - find 4. Then turn your focus on smells - find 4 - then focus on 'feels' like the breeze, the temp, what's under your feet... and lastly - open your eyes and find 4 things that are nice to look at. It could be an acorn top, a weed with a tiny flower, a particularly bright glad of something growing....
    Then take a big cleansing breath. You're done. Somehow this often brings me a sense of peace - for a while.

    I too have alopecia - from Taxotere - and my hair stayed pretty much gone. I live in soft caps and pretty scarves and if I'm particularly bothered, I might create eyebrows with soft shadow. Mostly, I try to skip mirrors and see myself from behind my eyes.

    Spend time rubbing lotion everywhere - touching your own skin. If another is inclined - ask for that. Sex might not work - but touch will always be there.

    Show your emotions to your family - this is their journey as well - and they will be able to see a strong woman that honors herself - good and bad - and give them the chance to grow from this experience too. As a mom/wife - I'm sure it is way hard. But it is about you.
    But your own oxygen mask on first. If ever before...you deserve all the self love and understanding available. You shine from the inside out. Many positive thoughts being sent your way!
    Pamela

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    Ashera wrote on MarcieB's wall

    Find TO MY TRIBE posted question. I've been trying to update regularly. I jusr tried a brief answer to you and site deleted. Sorry... no energy to recreate. Love my people bot hate this site...

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      MarcieB

      Darn it all! This site used to be so relevant for all of us. I hope you are well, Ashera, and we will catch up when you catch up on energy. ;-)

      20 days ago
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      Ashera

      Ashera asked a questionBreast Cancer

      FYI to my tribe!

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      13 days ago

      Marci...does this help navigate to the thread?

      20 days ago
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      MarcieB

      Yes! Thank you, I have to get myself back into the groove here, I thought the site had just disappeared. I'm glad it hasn't. I still have hope of it building back up, we need it.

      20 days ago
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    Ashera wrote on MarcieB's wall

    Posted a question about my surgery tomorrow. Who know when or if it will post.
    Didn't get last weeks digest - and the one today is filled with blog crap from letlifehappen. I don't know how much longer I can hang on here. You and my others in my tribe have been heaven sent these past years. There must be a way we can continue. I'll think about it while I'm on pain meds!

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      MarcieB

      Ashera, I am so behind on everyone's news! I stopped getting any notifications about anything so I thought this site finally came to an end (very sad!) Jen contacted me and mentioned the site, and then I realized I changed my settings to stop notifications on that day when we were getting spam every five minutes (so frustrating!) I meant to change it back, but forgot. Please tell me what is going on with you? I changed my settings back, so hopefully I will be notified if you answer this?

      20 days ago
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    Ashera asked a questionBreast Cancer

    FYI to my tribe!

    32 answers
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      Ashera, I unwrapped a Dove chocolate yesterday. They have sayings inside the wrapper. Mine said
      "Your Vibe Attracts your Tribe".
      Have no advice on the bras but thought about you and vibed good ones when I read it:)

      15 days ago
    • Ashera's Avatar
      Ashera

      Lorie - I LOVE that! Thank you!!!

      15 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Thank you, Ashera, I get it now!

      I just donated about 13 bras to our church rummage sale. All of them very gently used or only worn once. They were the result of my quest to find the perfect bra after surgery. First, I needed something to accommodate being uneven, then I had my reduction surgery on my right side and became a whole different shape. I tried everything from lavishly expensive to Meijers dept store sale rack. And, of course, as my reduction swelling settled, there was yet another shape...aaauuuggghh!

      I have settled on Fruit of the Loom sports bras that hook-n-eye close in the front and Coobies (over the head, all stretch).Those two work for me. And if I am home all day I don't bother with a bra, (a nice perk to being smaller!)

      Interesting about your reading loll. I am an avid reader - it is my go-to comfort and always has been. But, when my first husband died I simply could not engage in a book. I might read two and half chapters and then realize I didn't give a XXX about that story. That dry spell lasted a good 6 months. Same thing when my son died, but it didn't last as long - I was ready for it.

      14 days ago
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    Question: FYI to my tribe!

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