• bird34's Avatar

    bird34 started following

    User: CancerNews

  • bird34's Avatar

    bird34 posted an update

    I have a 12 year old son and I have not told him yet that his grandfather is very ill. I know that I will, but I cannot yet gauge when to do that. At this time, I am of a mind to wait until my father has undergone his treatments but I just don't know.

  • bird34's Avatar

    bird34 posted an update

    I am finding it hard to concentrate. I am anxious about the meeting with my father's doctor tomorrow. I have a number of things on my mind. In order to help my elderly parents, I have to keep my head on straight. At the same time, I continue to have moments of sadness and stark fear/panic that this thing has my Dad's number.

    I am fortunate to have a career background that trains me to remain removed emotionally from circumstances that can be difficult for "civilians." The training helps, as I want to help my parents with the immediate concerns and details of his upcoming treatment, I also want to address a living will and power of attorney so that we can expedite decisions regarding any issues that can come up along the way. But my father has rejected a living will and power of attorney - and forget about a an actual will.

    I find it frustrating, then yesterday I became angry. I know that in the absence of these instruments, all of these details will fall to my Mom to work out for herself without any guidance in writing. Then, in the event that his estate needs settling, all of the details will fall to me. I will do whatever it is he wants as far as distribution of his estate, but the absence of a will means that I will have to do everything the hard way when it is unnecessary to do so.

    I can only try to imagine the depth of what he is going through. I can appreciate that he is angry and that he wants to remain in control. My father is of a generation and mindset that if you "talk up on it", it will happen. But it is up to me to try to address these issues.

  • bird34's Avatar

    bird34 shared an experience

    Oh No (Diagnosed): For over a year my father has had a steady loss of weight and loss of appetite. He also had a "smokers cough". We just got the diagnosis at the end of February. The preliminary stage is a 3.8 or 4. Anything more specific is unavailable at this time. He has undergone the initial procedures to begin his chemo and radiation. I am going with my parents tomorrow for a counsultation with one of his treating physicians to get more information and details to help me better understand what to expect.

  • bird34's Avatar

    bird34 started following

    User: GregP_WN