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    buckhunter asked a questionKidney Cancer

    Do any of you get abandoned by friends and family after you're done with treatments?

    8 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      @legaljen1969 - that's what I try to remember. I felt so abandoned by the people I felt like were my best friends - others who did dog agility. I was with them all of the time - just about every night of the week plus weekends. After I was diagnosed, they slowly dropped away, mainly because I was "out of sight, out of mind." I don't think they don't care, they just don't think about me because they don't see or hear from me any longer.

      After my son died, I found even fewer friends around. I think they just don't know what to say ... or maybe they are afraid my bad luck will rub off on them... Or maybe they are afraid I'll be a real downer, depressed, unhappy, hard to talk to.

      With that said, a very few (from before) and several (since) have been there and if I ever asked for help, I feel sure I could count on them. I hope they feel the same way about me - that if they need me, I'll be there for them, no matter what the issue is. (Unfortunately, some friends think I have enough on my plate and don't want to "bother" me with their needs. I hate that because I would love to help them however I can. I try to let them know that but I don't know if they believe me!)

      about 1 month ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Waves hand, me! After I ffg finished treatment my mom got really sick, spent a month in ICU and was released to a long term care facility. Started doing better, then had a stroke. She went into hospice a few months later and died July 2, 2014. Sine it was just the 2 if us, I just had her cremated, but the hospice had a memorial service for folks who died previous quarter.

      My best friend knew my mom - we went to high school together. I asked if she'd go with me, soccer mom had to soccer mom. Not even a game, just a function. Upset me quite a bit. I just avoided her for awhile. Eventually I thought we'd patched stuff up. But then she accused me of trying to hurt her and texted she was done with me. Tied it back to how it wasn't her fault that she couldn't be there when it was convenient for me, back to mom's memorial. But I really think it ties back to her not being there for any of my treatment. And I didn't hound her. She had a HS kid in soccer. Think it was the guilt...

      about 1 month ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @BuckeyeShelby, I am so sorry to see this story about your best friend. I cannot imagine how much it hurt not to have someone to go with you to the memorial service. Does her child know you? I would certainly think so if you all were best friends. The lesson she taught her child is one that won't soon be erased- that it is okay to abandon your friend if you have something more fun to do.
      And saying she couldn't be there when it was "convenient" for you? WHAT?? Yes, I am sure your mother's memorial service was so "convenient" for you. And your treatment? Yes, such celebratory convenient life events. Give me a break. It always amazes me how people will put it back on you when they do wrong. I am just so done with people sometimes.

      about 1 month ago
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    buckhunter asked a questionKidney Cancer

    How often do you get a pet scan after you're done with treatments?

    6 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I had a PET scan in 2012. My oncologist doesn't like them nor order them.

      7 months ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      I am a 5-year Stage IV rectal cancer survivor. I have only had two PET scans - a year after SBRT radiation for a lung met to confirm that the nodule was dead, and that what was showing up on the CT scan was scar tissue. The PET scan confirmed that the nodule was dead - it didn't light up.

      The problem with PET scans is the high rate of false positives. That first PET scan lit up in my tailbone area - "suggestive of residual disease of metastatic recurrence." That area was the site of my rectal cancer surgery. So my medical team ordered an MRI of that area to see if there was cause for concern. It turned out that my uterus has tilted backward after the removal of my rectum. The soft tissue was my uterus.

      So to simply answer your question. PET scans are not usually routinely used for surveillance after treatment ends.

      7 months ago
    • PeggyRCC's Avatar
      PeggyRCC

      This refers only to kidney cancer, as it has been shown that PET scans--different than PET/CT scans--usually do not give adequate information about kidney cancer primaries or metastases. Why is this? The PET scan shown the unusual cellular activity of most cancer cells in comparison to normal cells, causing them to "light up". Since kidney cancer is generally fairly slow-growing, and not as 'active' as other cancers, it can be missed by a PET scan. The combination PET/CT is helpful, but the CT with contrast is the 'gold standard". Since the contrast may concern some doctors as to its impact on the kidneys, be ready to flush your system immediately and thoroughly post the CT by drinking lots of water. Also prior to the CT, be well-hydrated until the time you are told NOT to drink anything but the contrast.

      7 months ago
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