• carm's Avatar

    carm started following

  • carm's Avatar

    carm wrote on Jbird's wall

    Jbird, I read your post and I thought maybe I could help. I am an oncology nurse and an End of Life nurse so I have been with well over 500 at their last moment. Cancer can be a very cruel mistress and that battlefield can indeed be very vast and endless. We watched our loved ones step onto it knowing that only great warriors can dig their heels into that dirt. It takes a special kind of person to be that type of warrior. When they have fought their best, they lay down their shields and walk off with their head held high. It may be hard to realize but life is about choices... even up to that last breath, we all make choices. Great warriors sometimes decide to move on to live another day beyond the thinnest of veils that separate this existence from the next...but your brother lives on, and the only thing that separates you now is geography. He is mighty, mighty and runs free of pain in a life he chose knowing that within his heart lies a piece of you and your family just as a piece of him lies in yours. You can think that you miss him...but trust me, he never left. He waits for you to realize this and resume the many conversations you had when he was flesh and bone...we are all so much more than biology. Life IS everlasting, many of those I stood bedside to at their last breath taught me that their road didn't end there, and now fill my many hours with their company because I have opened my mind and heart and believed that our connection transcends any place...any side of the veil. I know this is new for you and you are hurting. I am sorry for your pain. But your brother is waiting for you to restart your relationship. Know in your heart that he would never leave you and just start talking to him. There is a language without words. Learn this and you will find endless hours of familiarity. If you need me, Greg knows how to get in touch with me. My best to you, Carm.

  • carm's Avatar
  • carm's Avatar
  • carm's Avatar

    carm wrote on Dozenelk's wall

    Dozenelk, as an oncology/End of Life nurse, I have had that conversation more times than I can remember. Life is not over until the last breath and there is a reason for these journeys...your cousin needs to experience all of life down to that last minute. We all have choices and a good woman always knows the right time to leave. Encourage her to live every moment as she has always done. Time is man-made, in reality it does not exist. But moments...they are the stepping stones of life. There is an old Hospice saying..."The beauty of the flight is to glorify the site." There is a reason why every moment needs to be lived and spent living the life you have...it will all make sense to her on that last mile, trust me. She will do what every great warrior does in their own good time. Smile and celebrate life with her. Encourage her to see that her life still has much value for her, and for those at her side. Best of luck, Carm.

  • carm's Avatar

    carm posted an update

    Although it has been quite a while since I posted here, I have come to realize how much I missed this site and the wonderful people here. Hello to Greg and my favorite member, "Tickling Cancer." I love you both and I am at your service in any way that I can. To those of you who don't know of me, I am an oncology nurse and I am here to help anyone in the spirit of this #1 best support site ever. It's good to be back...I salute the bravest, greatest warriors in this world...you are truly breathtaking!

    2 Comments
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Good to see you on the site Carm, thanks for stopping by. Your contributions are always welcome!

      4 months ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Love Ya Greg...I hope you are well. Please give my best to Dave. I have 1100 pages of items to moderate...I better get busy...Teehee!

      4 months ago