Sounds like you have a rare case. The two things I would want to know are who in the country treats the most penile cancer patients and who's been through this before. Thus, I recommend the following.
Call the American Cancer Society at[phone number redacted] they can walk you thought the standard of care based on your specific cancer type, stage, etc. Ask them how you might go about seeking out clinical trials. Ask them what kind of support is available for you if you proceed with the surgery. Finally, ask them if there is a cancer registry that can help you figure out which cancer centers handled the most penile cancer cases.
Ask your doctor about clinical trials. You might want to also go to http://clinicaltrials.gov and search for penile clinical trials that are still recruiting, print them off and take them to your doctor for discussion. I would also ask you doctor and how you might go about looking for other options.
Contact Imerman Angels at http://www.imermanangels.org/. They match people offline by specific cancer type. They have been around for awhile so they have a pretty big database of patients and survivors.
I hope this helps. Please let me know what you find out.