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    cyberwings wrote on kruegcas's wall

    Welcome Kruegcas - I know you too must be reeling from the recent diagnosis of your family friend. Here is a very good place to start. I know it is hard to know what to say or what to do, I found this article to be very helpful, you may too.

    How not to say the wrong thing?

    It works in all kinds of crises -- medical, legal, even existential. It's the 'Ring Theory' of kvetching. The first rule is comfort in, dump out.

    When Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan's colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn't feel like having visitors, and she said so. Her colleague's response? "This isn't just about you."

    "It's not?" Susan wondered. "My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?" .... read more here:
    http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407

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